The Year 2021: Challenges And Lessons.

This year is rough, this is the only year where my anxiety is bad and I don't even know how to deal with this. I'm stressing myself too much, getting operated on because of an ovarian cyst, experiencing unfamiliar things, having misunderstandings with my parents, etc

This year may be rough, but I know most of us learned a lesson. We knew that our life is on the end yet. Maybe, we're on the side where we don't understand everything anymore but of course, I know we can fight back. We can still do a lot of things and we can still fight the way that we want.

This year is rough, but we manage to survive it.

Challenges and Lessons That I Learned During The Year 2021.

Handling Worst Part Of Me.

What is the most challenging part that everyone handled? Maybe it was handling our worst part. I mean, sometimes it's really hard to understand ourselves and even the things that we wanted. Sometimes we enjoy life, and sometimes not. Sometimes we feel okay and sometimes don't.

This year, I'm struggling too much for handling me and handling my mood. I've been too moody to the point my anxiety was messed up. Also planning to kill me and to escape from reality.

But I just learned that no matter how bad the situation is, it's still good to be around and to face them. Sometimes I'm having a hard time understanding myself, but I learned to be quiet and to give space. I just figure out that giving yourself a personal space is what matters at all.

Not Being Able To Express What I Feel.

I'm having a hard time to say what I really feel. Sometimes, I don't say a word anymore because of it. For me, no one can even understand my feelings and no one can figure out how my mind works. I mean, for me everything is just a nonsense because I thought no one will listen.

I'm having a hard time to say the words that I want to stay, to spill the words that I want to spill. I'm just looking at the ceiling and yell inside my mind. But yeah, sometimes I really feel like it's better to shout so that all of things that makes my feelings heavier can go out.

But I learn that it's better to talk to someone, better to write them on, better to tell themmto others and better to share them. Telling them what you really feel is like letting yourself to share what it's really want. Life a messed huh? But yeah, nothing is easy and nothing be easy.

Team Depression or Team Anxiety?

I watch this from the tiktok earlier and I burst into laughter. Like, yeah everything that he said was true.

I'm afraid of the future and I regret the past

I want to go on but I afraid for the result.

I need to fight but I want to rest

Looks like I'm on the edge where 50/50 is existing whether I fall doem or not 😂. But no, whenever I'm stress or depressed I can't help it but to laugh out of myself.

Like, Hey self we need to go on so stand up. And sometimes, when I'm staring at the ceiling I always get reminded of what happened when I was a kid. The only thing is, I struggled too much and this time I want to get out where my comfort zone is to start my own life. I know it's not easy, so thank you to the people who were helping me 💓

Here's the link of the Video:

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSeHSE9LE/

Build Me Up.

Because I'm a suicidal so it's hard for me to choose life and death but I always choose life. Everytime I see someone who struggled to stay alive, its motivating me to be grateful because I'm still here.

Actually, building ourself up is never easy. Life we literally need to take off everything and to start a new beginning where there's no traces from the past. I know this I'll needed this one when I'm not on my comfortzone anymore. Things getting worst day by day and that pushes me to learn what's good in life is.

This will be very challenging for me, but I guess I'll just take the words from my parents and make it a wisdom word so that I can keep going. This life of mine will never be easy if I stayed here with nothing. I looked like a prison already inside the house and I hate it.

Google Notes

So last day I opened my old Gmail account which is the email that I used under the name of my ex and look over my notes.

And here's what I see:

Why I'm become too dramatic during this month? I don't remember anything from this month. I can't stop laughing when I remembered I'm so Martyr before. But nvm, the most important is I'm happy right now 🤣.

Being Able Get A New Friends.

I'm a type of person who loves socializing. I mean, I can socialize to anyone and I can adjust faster when I'm with someone.

I just figure out that being sociable is not bad at all, not because you gain new and more friends but because I can practice communication.

Welcome 2022!

• My New Year starts with not being in a mood. Welp, it happens all the time and also it happens every newyear so I'm used it alrrady. But even if I'm used to it, I always ended up breaking down and crying because my anxiety was really messed up and I need to deal with it with a fireworks and with being asthmatic 😭.

• I'm suffering from anxiety and asthma last night, I don't know what will I need to do because it's really hard to breathe and I can't breathe smoothly because all I can smell is a smoke from the fireworks.

2021 is the year where we all experience being so down, where the year crushed us. The year where we are not able to fight back because life was kinda hard, but 2021 is the year where we learned so much including relying to ourselves to be more positive.

The year where Typhoon Odette damaged badly where it landed.

The year where not all families celebrating Christmas because of the Typhoon Odette tragedy.

Year 2021 is the year where we are stress, depressed, in pain and also we feel hatred. So goodbye 2021 and welcome 2022. May this year is a blessing for everyone.

But 2021 helped me a lot. That's the year where I earned the importance of being me and the importance of being positive at all cost.

At year 2021,

I met someone who's become part of my messy life. She's the someone that became my bestfriend, big sister, a friend, a crying shoulder, an adviser and also the one that I love the most. Thank you for always being there, for helping me and for giving positive vibes so thay I don't feel sad..Thankyou! Advance happy 11th month 💓 and I love you!

At year 2021,

I'm so thankful to @ZehraSky , @ExpertWritter , @Sweetiepie , and@Eunoia, and @Ayane-chan(Sorry for mentioning you all) and also immarryandmerry, for keeping me motivated. You guys helped me a lot, you also give me a nonstop advice at telegram during the times that I'm so down. Thankyou! May this 2022 blessed us all!.

Author's Note

I wanna say thankyou to ate @Eylz2021 for renewing her sponsorship. Thank you so much ate! And to all who's sponsoring me, thankyou so much also!

Happy New Year everyone!

By:OfficialGamboaLikeUs