March 03, 2022: The 3rd Batch Of Question Diary.

Good day people! So I go back from school today to fill-up some form and a classcard. I easily got tired because maybe I didn't eat before going out or there's something going on inside of my body again.

Months after my operation, they said the internal of my body were just starting to heal. Sometimes, I feel like my body inside have some pressure. Do you understand what I mean? What I mean is, I feel something pressure inside of me. Where I can feel tiredness running through my body even if I'm not doing anything.

So this is the 3rd batch of a Question Diary, hope you enjoy reading this!

A conyo time.

Which of the Seven Wonders of the world do you want to visit the most?

• What is sever wonders ba? Chereret, as I do my research, I see that this one is a ancient places. Hmmm, maybe I have no pupuntahan. Because me have no money to gala-gala here so I need to stay at home nalang. Chereret langs.

I want to visit pyramid for a very long time na talaga, as I know it was located at Egypt right. Correct me if I'm mali. Why? Because sabi nila before there's a human inside the pyramid body daw. I want to know if it's true isa pa it's a big opportunity for me to go here and see Egypt. Once in a life time lang rin eh.

Write about the word confidence.

• For me confidence is where you are confident enough to show your flaws, to show your skills, to accept who you are, and to accept that everything you show is already enough. Well, I'm not this confident enough to show people about my flaws.

I have a big self insecurities where I know I do everything that's best for me and for anybody but I always ended up like I am nothing and I'm not enough.

But wait, I don't know what does the confidence really means so sorry.

1 thing you don't want to be with someone.

Well, I guess I'm gonna share the 1 thing that I really don't want to be. This is nothing personal so.

• Being a panakip butas.

I already experience being a panakip butas to someone. It was my 2nd ex that's from the same place here at iloilo.

So let me tell you a story;

Let's all her Irene, irene is the kind of person where she was really kind at the eyes of others but not mine. I met her during my Junior Highschool, but we just begin noticing each other when I'm already in grade 11. It was Sept 12, 2018 when I first meet her. To be honest, i thought she was the kind of person who's not judging anybody but I'm wrong. It I have a worst 3 years ex then she was the in real life version of that ex.

I know that she was just using me, lol I even read her chat to one of her classmate where she told that, "I'm just messing with her, it was easy for her to believe something.", Lol? Little did she know that I'm just playing with her also.

Do you engage in activities to escape your reality?

• Yes, playing online games.

I'm always stress and depressed when it comes to personal things. Sometimes, I just wasting my time playing online games so that I can forget what it is and what I feel. Before I ended up breaking down, I start telling myself to, "Calm down.", It's really hard for me when my anxiety is approaching, because there are times where I can't control myself and ended up hurting myself also.

So today, I go back from school and go home afterwards.

Nah, I don't feel my energy at all. I felt like I was tired of something. Like my body wants to rest, I want to sleep all day and do nothing, whenever that I'm feeling this way I know that there's something wrong inside me. Eversince that my surgery are already on its 7months, I noticed that my body were looking for more rest. That my body want to have more rest than the usual one, and here we are again. I don't have any appetite to eat, any appetite to do something or what.

I just felt like my body was on its weak spot for now.

When negative thoughts arise, how do you deal with them?

• By praying and making myself more calm. When negative thoughts were arriving I know that I'm already having a hard time to control me from time to time.

Welp, meditation helped me to improve my move and to make myself comfortable in the midst of nowhere. Also writing helps me to express them even if after writing there's no change at all.

So this article may not long, I just don't feel okay right now xD

Have a blessed day everyone!