2nd Day of July: My Birthmonth (Being Thankful, For All Of You)

Two days before my birthday (July 4, 2001), I often think about what I will do on a daily basis. Usually, at this time I hang out in the garden for our vegetable plants, I stay there for a few hours until I can think of something to do.

Or I will read the bible, or "Be Still and Know That I Am God". I bought the book using my savings here in read.cash, so now I remember that I will be here for almost eight months.

So what are my experiences here? At first, I just copied and pasted correctly, especially when the system had not been updated. I even caught up with you here that you will put the source below just so others know where it came from, it's just funny to think that I was suddenly banned because the site was also suddenly updated.

I was bored then, so I just let it go. A month ago I came back here with a new account. I said to myself "I'm going to work hard on myself.", At that time I was wondering because my colleague wasn't banned while his articles were purely paraphrased. So I was really wondering how that happened, and I just let them not want to dive into their lives.

So where did all my savings and money go from here?

Before I saw this site, I was very down, because I would need a lot of money to treat my disease (Ovarian cyst).

I was praying fervently that I would find someone to help me, I thought nothing and I thought I would just let my life go. But in God's will, I saw Laurencuu's post about readcash, and this is where my life started to change.

At first, I was confused because I didn't understand how to accumulate here because only points were used when I entered here that reset every 8 in the morning. At first, I had a hard time because I didn't know how to deal with other authors who have been using it for a long time and are older than me. I just think because they don't pay attention because they were the oldest here and I'm just a beginner.

That all changed, when @Jane (Sorry, the username does not appear), @tired_momma , @bheng620 , @mommykim, and the other older users.

I would like to thank the people who have been my support on this site, even if I only know them for a while.

The ones I collected here, from RandomRewarder, and upvotes went to my treatment at the time I was admitted (Last June 6, 2021). All of that was spent on medicine, food, and bills.

Honestly, I’m getting super emotional right now as I write this. Especially with the people who gave help to me at a time when I didn't know where to collect my expenses.

I want to say Thank You to those who stayed by my side when I was down, to those who greeted me and constantly updated me when I became inactive.

I want to say thank you to @iamHeavenbound, @Fonseca49 , @Winx1988 , @Ruffa , @McJulez, @Glez , and @tired_momma for giving me courage at a time when I was too scared of the biopsy, at a time when I almost didn't know where I would get my courage because I also saw my mother crying. I want to thank you for my encouragement at a time when I was so vulnerable to what was happening in the environment and in my life.

And also to @DM, @tired_momma , @Janz , @bheng620 , @Jane, @Mjv2 , and @Viktor105 Thank you very much for requesting a successful operation one day before I was operated on.

Thank you guys for making me motivated.

Honestly lately I’ve been lazy with everything, I’m lazy in life, I’m getting tired of the repetitive routine. But I remember that the thing I was experiencing was that God did so that I could get to know him better.

I always wonder why I struggle so much even when I was a child, why I went through so much even though I was not of the age that I should have experienced later.

For every question I ask myself, only one is appropriate and my answer becomes, "God wants me to know him.", Which is "He wants me to come to him again.", "He wants me to listen to him again." . "

At times it was not clear to me at all why I felt I was repeatedly called by the lord, "Son, come, listen to me, believe, trust." Actually, I can’t say that’s what the Lord says, but yes. I feel it myself and it wakes me up so much to myself.

I feel so much that I live spiritually, I feel so different from myself that I have turned to him. Everything went smooth, everything went easy. I say to myself, "Is this walking with God?". I'm almost reaching the point in my life where I always talk to him, that even if I don't see him or even if he doesn't become clear in every answer to my questions, I feel good and his answer is good even if I can't hear it.

Dear Lord,

I know how much I’m wrong, I know how much I’m lacking. I know it was very wrong for me to turn my back on you, especially at a time when my mind was so chaotic and I still understood everything very vaguely.

I knew in myself that I had committed too much guilt, but you still accepted me. Even though I keep telling myself that you don't exist, that you are not real, that you are a part of science but you have repeatedly talked to me through your children. You keep bringing me back to you and you keep making way for me to know you again.

Maybe, I don't want to listen so you say "I'll give you a test, you'll get to know me, after that.". Because Lord, after what happened, since 2018 I feel so relieved when I come back to you, it's fun to believe and trust you again. Back then, I was ashamed that no one might listen and believe me, I used to think that you weren't really too much and that you might be fictional. Until you are the one who gave the tests that I will recognize you afterward.

Repeatedly there are fighting thoughts in myself that I am not enough, but you do not let me down. When I want to end everything with me, you don’t leave me and forsake me. Suddenly something comes, suddenly something happens. I'm sure, you're watching me. Thank you, Lord.

Thank you so much, and I have spared 20 years here on earth, in the name of God, Amen.

To know the story behind this, visit this link. THANK YOU.

• From TEST to TESTIMONY: How God Change Me: My real experience (Tagalog)

PS: everything was based on my own and real experience when I turned away from god.

THANK YOU FOR READING!.

I would like to say thank you to @Loveleng18 , @mommykim , and @ZehraSky !. God bless and more power!.