What did I just realize?
April 8, 2022
Good morning read-fam! What a good sleep I had. I just woke up like minutes ago. I slept around 10 o'clock last night and I feel good now. My dream is not good though. I was rap*d in my dream and I'm sure I know him but now that I am awake, I can't remember him anymore. I remember shouting and asking for help but no one heard me eventhough a friend is just in the next room. Later on, I found out that the reason why my friend wasn't able to help me was that she was having a good time with her boyfriend. Crazy dream.
Anyway, yesterday I was busy on the process of pursuing my dream. The other dream. Not the one we have when we sleep. I went to the place where we need to do few stuff. I was still nervous while I'm on the process eventhough I've been doing it for three years. But I thank God for His sustaining grace. To be honest, I fail to pray everyday because I don't believe in the power of it anymore. The pending dreams got me doubt His existence. I even accused Him of playing favorites and questioned my present because I don't think my "now" is what I deserve.
In my quest of working hard to get "that dream", I became farther to the Maker everyday. I wish I could grab the dreams by my hand instantly. I wish He would spoil me. But no. For me, God was away each day that He fail to hear my prayers. So, I stop saying them.
Over time, my heart was healed. Probably it was partly because of my parents' prayers. I believe in that our parents' prayers save us. Their words and declarations have power too. When they speak life and blessing to us, surely God will bless us abundantly.
Back to my agenda yesterday, I saw a lot of familiar faces. Teachers who were years ahead of me. Some newbies in the ranking process. Some "suki ng ranking" like me. The top 1 in the last year's ranking is still there too. What a challenging year, "truly there is no specific procedure to follow". If it is meant for you, it will be yours. No one can stop you from getting that dream.
I learned that everything is into their proper places. It is exactly where God want me to be. If I was hired early for that job, I won't be able to experience the joy amd excitement for the job that I have now. For the past few days, I found myself enjoying the job that I have now, for the next few months I will work on complaining less about not getting hired in Deped. I will be more patient and kind to myself and I will enjoy the process.
I don't know what got into me that I finally have the peace of mind, maybe God worked on my hear through time. He allowed my experiences to help me realize and actualize things. Or maybe I just had a good night sleep and maybe I would disagree with this later on? Which is which?
Thanks for reading friends! I hope you'll enjoy the rest of the day. Hold on a little more. Tomorrow is the weekend.
Until the next read!