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Do you choose or do you let others choose for you?

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Written by   47
8 months ago

Three years ago I discovered an activity that has truly transformed my life. It's Biodanza, which in a few words means: "the dance of life" or danced inner life as I like to call it.

I liked my first dance session so much, that I longed for the next one to come and so it happened week after week, until I decided to sign up for training as a facilitator of this system.

If I had to give you a more formal definition of Biodanza, I would say: "Human integration system, which uses movement, the power of music, contact and the group, to awaken in the participants the connection with their instincts and self-knowledge".

In the 3 years of training I went into a deep inner journey, this added to the fact that I had just divorced and was in the process of transformation. I have learned a lot on this journey, and today I want to talk to you about the "Power of choice".

Yes, through dance I realized that this power of choice was delegated to others, every time we were asked to choose a partner to dance a piece, I always expected someone to come for me and choose me.

I didn't realize it was a deliberate attitude on my part. Until one day the facilitator of the session emphasized the importance of "making your own choices," clearly you can't always choose, but most of the time it is.

Making decisions has always been my Achilles heel, I think a lot about the pros and cons before making a decision, even before I could spend hours in a store choosing a piece of clothing, which for some of my companions was a pretty hopeless situation.

I was very clear about my indecision problem, but when I saw myself in those dance sessions leaving my choice in the hands of others, I realized that the same could be happening in my life in general and I had to take action!

To begin with I realized that being indecisive or not making a decision is already a choice in itself in the form of procrastination, omission or silence, where I give my power to others or the circumstances themselves to make the decisions for me.

All this made me wonder: How true was I being to my feelings and thoughts? And how congruent I was about what I wanted and my actions.

When we silence our emotions, ideas and thoughts in a certain way we annul ourselves, we become our own stumbling block and accumulate a lot of dissatisfaction.

The big question is: What produces this silence or inaction? What is it that prevents us from exercising this power to the full?

In my case, the fear of making a mistake was my big issue, I was so afraid of failure or doing something wrong and then not being able to fix it that it slowed me down a lot when it came to making decisions. I was also worried about disappointing others or making a bad impression.

In the case of dance I also realized that I was afraid of "rejection", to think that I could go looking for someone else to dance and not be receptive was something that worried me, even worse, while I was waiting to be chosen all this was going through my mind and at the same time I crossed my fingers that someone I liked would come to me.

Then the best question came to me: What is the worst that could happen if...?

When I started to ask myself these questions I realized that everything I was afraid of was a real stupidity, what is the worst thing that could happen if I chose someone to dance with and that desire was not reciprocated?

Absolutely nothing!!! I would have to turn around and look for someone else and not take it personal, finally everyone has tastes, desires and interests that may not coincide with mine at any given time and that's perfect!!!!

That's what it's all about to experience this life characterized by the diversity of thoughts, to respect my desires and those of others, to give the right value to everything and above all to live in the present moment without postponing my decisions for an uncertain future.

Now, I value every moment of my life and I try to follow my intuition and instincts (something that I re-learned with dance and that I will tell you later in another post).

See you next time!!!

  • Recent publications:

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  • Image sources taken from Pixabay, copyright free: https://pixabay.com/es/illustrations/ballet-bailarines-mujer-siluetas-359982/Lo

  • First photo taken from my personal archive and modified with Photolab app.

  • Original content of my autorship.

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Written by   47
8 months ago
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Comments

Qué excelente! El derecho de elegir que todos tenemos es bien aplicado cuando valoramos acertadamente nuestras prioridades, y en ellas, ser feliz o estar pleno, debería ser la principal! Gracias por motivarnos!

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7 months ago

Así es!!! La felicidad y la plenitud deben ser siempre nuestro norte, a veces le damos mucho poder a lo material y perdemos el objetivo.

Gracias por aportarle valor a mi publicación con tu comentario 🤗

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7 months ago

This is what I always talk about in my articles. Thankfulness is one of them. What did you get out of a very dramatic situation in your life like a divorce? You learned from that failure that you are a wonderful being, that you have a light of your own and that you are capable of learning from your failures and start to succeed in your personal life. Be thankful for all the moments that we live in life, especially the difficult situations that we live. You grow and you feel different. Congratulations!

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8 months ago

That's right!!! Being grateful is a vital and necessary attitude in our lives. I also believe that we can take advantage of everything that happens to us to grow and evolve, it is up to each person to take it as a learning experience or experience it from a position of victim, and that is also a life choice. Thank you very much for your comment 🤗

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8 months ago

1970 Life Lesson Izaguirre, my boss told me, make decisions, I'm not going to be available all the time. Decisions are the basis of experience, because experience is the sum of mistakes and mistakes are decisions poorly made or poorly applied. But thanks to that indication I "learned" to make decisions.

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8 months ago

Excellent recommendation!!! Certainly making choices feeds our experience, even when we are wrong or not very accurate we can learn from it and improve in a future occasion. Fortunately I had the opportunity to see what was something I needed to work on and transcend in myself.

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8 months ago