Who's Strong? - Day 10

062922

What makes a human strong? Does having a strong physique would already make you a strong person? How about being the tough one who doesn't cry? What makes a human strong?

I hope you can help me on my 10th day of 30-day writing challenge. I didn't think that I will have such hard time thinking on what to write about on this challenge. Well that's the challenge!

I will try to make this post not too long because my brain cells can't think anymore charZ!!

Anyway for today's topic that should be........

WRITE ABOUT SOMETHING FOR WHICH YOU FEEL STRONGLY

Honestly, I have a lot of strong feelings right now that I can't even pin point what feeling should I prioritize or feel first. I feel like I don't have the right to feel anything. Oh okay that gives me an idea.

I have this drafted titled here. It says, 'when people think that your strong.....'

Let me bring back the questions on my intro..

What makes a human strong? Does having a strong physique would already make you a strong person? How about being the tough one who doesn't cry?

Just a little back story, I have 3 siblings and we are all girls. My father wanted to have a son with the impression that having a son he can have someone to bond with, you know boy/guy bonding something like that. Unfortunately, he didn't have one. It turned out that, I was the one who was close to enough to have an attitude of a boy and have a strength of a boy.

I was the one who used to help my parents carry heavy stuff around the house, life heavy furnitures, help on things that a boy would always do for having such strength and energy. I was marked as the tomboy of the house.

As I grow up, I still did things like that carry tables and chairs, sacks of rice, sacks of cement, paint the house, hammering things, name a chore I can do it for sure. Until my strength converted to silence. What I mean is I don't talk that much at home. I felt like I was only there to do chores. No one would ask me how am I doing at school? Who are my friends? Or if I have any problem at school or other things.

I thought that being the strong one would help them or me. I definitely helped my parents in some way but it didn't help me, emotionally. It helped me divert the things that I should be thinking about, but the diversion turned into something deep. As deep as a sea that only a few people can dive into just to see what's beneath.

Yadah yadah yadaaaah. Long story short, I felt alone and my strength just made me weaker, emotionally and mentally.

I didn't have a problem with that because I can endure it for as long as I can until I gave birth. During my pregnancy, fortunately I had no problem. I can still dance, walk or do things around the house. It wasn't a high risk pregnancy but little did I know that I will need more assistance when I gave birth.

I have post some of my rants here a couple of weeks/days ago and I have one strong feeling lately. When people around you think you're strong, they won't offer help unless you ask.

I think that's my biggest frustration as a mother who still lives in my parent's house. I noticed that when I gave birth and as I recover from my C-section. I am getting little to no help from people at home. I mean it's not really a big deal for me because soon enough we'll leave here and we'll be on our own. The thing is, they treat and assist me differently than my sister when she gave birth. Why do I say so? I can see that whenever my sister's family stays here for a week, they offer assistance. They may not notice it enough, but damn I see it every time. The part that I hate is when my mother would always tell Lil B after eating breakfast to sleep, or whenever my mother would look after her she would always attempt to put her to sleep. SIGH...

So much for being strong and I wish that I was weak.

Yes we have to be strong for us to overcome some aspects in life but bear in mind that there's nothing wrong in showing your weaknesses.

People have the right to be strong or weak or both. It will not make you less than a human if you show weakness, instead shows how more human you can be.