I am not ready...yet

If you were to be asked, are you ready for everything that might get to you? What if tomorrow, you'll be kicked out from work? What if the other day you are not as efficient as you are today? What if you will wake up one day and feel like you're unhappy and you can't redeem yourself from the devouring sadness? Are you prepared how to conquer them?

Are we really ready all the time? Because if I were to be asked, I am not ready....yet.

They said it's our responsibility to be prepared for we don't know what happens tomorrow. Yes, that's right. That's the best thing we can do as humans because we cannot predict what's in our tomorrow nor decide what we can be when that time comes. What if tomorrow never comes? Can you sleep with all your might knowing that you can't wake up the next day? Perhaps you will spend your remaining time thinking how to mend those faults you did to your parents and to people around you. Your time is limited and so you get going to fix everything because we thought that would make us at peace and it's our gate pass to what we called heaven. What do you think? Because for me, the days we are living and how we spent them are the real bases of what we truly are. Our last moment here on earth can't save us. Moreover, let us live everyday being kind to every creature and live with what we called humanity.

If tomorrow never comes,

are you ready? Because I am not ready...yet. Not ready because I know there are many things I should do and yet because I know I will be ready someday. I must be.

My family also needs me and leaving them behind knowing they're not in the state I want them to be is disappointment. I don't want to bring disappointment with me in the afterlife.

One thing that I am not ready with is having my own family. I mean, I am okay with having a partner living with me but having a child I need to take care of, I don't know. I can't imagine myself walking in the street carrying a child and my friends would greet me and ask how did it happen. I hate being questioned and I hate explaining.

Ever since, I didn't think of having a child not until I reach 30. My plan is to have a child at 30 but some say it would be hard for me to bear a child with that age. They are right but I have my own plans. They can suggest but not to the point that they sound like correcting. I am open to suggestions. I just don't want anyone to make feel like my decisions are poor and I need to follow what's theirs.

I am not yet prepared to give up my single life. I mean I still do want to earn and travel with friends, to go with different restaurants, meet different people, go to different parties and get drunk or wasted. I still want to be with friends rather than to stay home and build my own.

My family still needs me as well. I can tell my grandma and grandpa doesn't want me to have a family yet or maybe they don't want me to get married. My grandma used to tell me before that I should not get married because life would be different when I'm already in it. She said I could get old fast because I have lots of things to think of -- the food, bills, my husband's vices if there will be any, kids and the household. My grandma is right but I think she just told me those because she doesn't want me live separately from them. She's not yet ready to see me build my own family when ours dreams are not yet realized. My grandpa thinks of that too. One time we had an argument about my boyfriend because my grandpa doesn't like seeing me so close with him. When my boyfriend was away, he confronted me if I want to get married already with his voice in a high tone. Of course, I got angry with the way he approached me and so we had an argument which led me not to talk with him for a year.

I just realized that my grandparents are not ready and so am I too.

But what if one day God bestow me things I am not yet ready with? Would I be able to manage?

I am not sure but all I can say is, I am not ready...yet.

How about you? What if your fears will be right in front of you when you wake up? Are you ready to face the things that you're not yet ready with?

Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.

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