Questions shouldn't be asked to married couples.

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2 years ago
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MARRIAGE is the union of a man and a woman legally in the law of humans and in the law of GOD. (I just use the term man and woman though I know there some same sex marriage now).

Two in love human beings that decided to spend their life together till they live. Yes, that is still what I am believing in. I am just a normal individual who grew in a democratic country . And we are alwyas free to chose who we want to be with.

Those who have different definitions with me it's okay. Everyone of us is entitled with our opinions and perspective in life.

Well what I am trying to write today is not about marriage but rather questions that everyone should not ask to marriage couples.

Please take note that this is just based on my point of view. In short, based on my experience, lol!

THEIR AGE.

I know some had that ideal age for marriage so they would ask about the age. Oftentimes if they think couples are too young a negative comment will follow. Like , " Why marry at an early age? You are not yet ready for marriage. Are you sure both of you can take responsibility? Both of you are still immature. And many more. Tsskk, I believe anyone could marry as long as they are already of legal age. Aside from that, maturity and being responsible is not defined by age. Right?

On the other hand if people think that you married late still they would give nonsense comments. What I hate about it is when they say " Oh, you could no longer bear a child. You married late". Seriously?

I even experienced this every time I go on vacation in our place at countryside. Our neighbor's often asked me over and over again when I am going to marry. As per them I am already " LAON" (old maid). I was only in my mid-twenties at that time. Age 25 is already considered as an old maid in the countryside.

Followed by that " you can no longer bear a child line".

NUMBER OF OFFSPRING

One of the reasons for getting married is to build a family. So as expected when they know that a couple has been married for years everyone is expecting they already had a child or children. Yet not all wanted it. I know some couples who don't want to have a child. All of them have their own reasons and I could not change what they believe. One of my friends reasoned out that she and her husband were not ready for the responsibilities. Not on financial matters but on raising a kid to be a good individual. Both of them have family issues, and came from a broken family. Which I think has an effect on them.

Others have a lot of kids and seem to be aren't aware of family planning. We have this neighbor before who got pregnant yearly. She already have eight kids at that time. If someone would ask her how many children she has and would give a negative comment for sure they would end up into a heated argument. People are actually worried about her as she is struggling financially. Yet she always got mad.

WHY THEY DON'T HAVE A CHILD

Above all this is the question that shouldn't be asked. I am one of those who carelessly asked this question before until one time I realized my mistake. I was on a lunch break that time and having chit chatting to one of my officemates. Me being nosy was surprised to know she's been married for seven years. So I was expecting they already have kids. Yet she said they don't have any. I was so stup!d to ask why.

That was so insensitive of me! My office mate cried after I asked. Then she told us her frustrations and struggles just to have one. They already did their best and even consulted an OB for years but still negative. Since then, I never ask that question again.

I actually realized how it felt when I was the one being asked . I've been married since 2018. Oh my hubby and I will be celebrating our 4rth wedding anniversary this May. Time flies!

Oftentimes people would ask me why we don't yet have a kid. They kept on telling me over and over again that we should have at least ONE!
Of course we want to, we did work hard for it but sadly God hasn't blessed us yet. They don't know how frustrating it is on my part.

Actually , not only frustrating but it hurts especially for those who have been waiting for it for years.

This was sent to me by my husband earlier. Yes we have been praying for these.

What I have shared were mostly personal questions. Which I guess would be better if we should not ask to. Some people would like to maintain their privacy. If they don't share, it simply means they are not comfortable. Don't be a MARITES and BRANDO. ( term in Philippines to someone who love gossiping).

Aside from that you might stir or trigger negative emotions that they are trying to overcome.

That's all for today and have a nice day!

If you feel bored and want someone to talk with you can contact me here. I would surely reply as long as it's not my office hours.
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Avatar for Lhes
Written by
2 years ago

Comments

Sometimes we don't intend to hurt them by asking these things :) But yes, we do need to be a little more sensitive :)

$ 0.01
2 years ago

agree with that sis. Sometimes we didn't know that an empty comments of ours could actually hurt someone.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Yes sis, experience taught us, haha. Sakit sa damdamin pag tayo'y tinatanong ng mga ganon kahit pa minsan, they mean it as a joke :D

$ 0.00
2 years ago

hehe kaya nga eh, kapag maganda mood ko, okay lng naman, pero kapag ulit-ulit na naiinis na ako. Nagiging sarcastic na sagot ko

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I agree with what you wrote, but I think question of age in my personal opinion doesn't really matter. The problem is if the question of offspring is asked to a partner who has been waiting for it for a long time, it will definitely be painful and a burden on the mind.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

That's it, hoping everyone will sensitive enough not to ask this. Cause it's really painful😔

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Yes, it does feel painful, but maybe it can be a motivation, if later given a baby will treat the baby well, even though sometimes children have bad times.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Readed the whole article line by line . Yes it's very frustrated 🙆‍♂️ questions the people will ask but they don't know the real situation what is goin on them.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

It will come in the right time sis, pero yung friend ko naman sis ayaw talaga nila ni hubby magkaroon ng anak, I guess it really depends on situation. They choose not to have one pero nakakainis kasi ang dami pa ding maritess hahaha!

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Haha oo may mga ganyan nga na ayaw talaga mag anak. Kaya may mga insurance na.

Kainis lng tong mga marites. One time may sinagot ako, alangan magbuntis ako eh nasa Taiwan asawa ko. Kung pwede lng gawin iyon thru VC nagawa ko na😂

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Hahaha! Mga bitter in life yun sis, maiging wag ng pansinin

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Kaya nga eh, kapag wala ako sa mood supalpal😂

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Sis wag ka mawalan ng pag asa. Bigla bigla na lang iun darating sa inyo. Pray lang kay lord at patuloy ka nilang didinigin sa inyong kahilingin. Tulungan kita sis ipagpray para dian. God bless sis

$ 0.03
2 years ago

Thanks sis, hindi naman ako nawawalan pag asa. Nakakairita lng minsa mga panay tanong

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Un nga lng sis. Gnian din ako sis. 5 years ako bgo ngkabby. Sobrang stress ko nun sa work. Kya iun ngdecide me na mgresgn. Ngpahilot ako at nagpaalaga sa ob gyne. Iyon aftr ko mgawa ngkabby ako 1 month sis

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Ang tagal mo din pala bago nagka baby. Iyon nga stressful din kasibang work ko. Kaya siguro hindi ako nabubuntis Nagbabalak nga din ako magresign kapag tapos na bahay namin.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Magtry k sis magrest. Iln taon kana nga sis. Pag ibg b house mo. San ngang lugar ung house mo

$ 0.00
2 years ago

So meaning super old maid na pala ako maga 28 na ako sa August juice ko dayy! Need ko naba mag hanap fafa 🤧 charowtttt hahahaha. Buti nalamg sakin walang nambubuliglig na mag asawa na hahaha.

Pero grabihan yung mga question na yan, ano yorn may interview from Marites's 😑

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Ganyan mga tanungan kapag nauuwi ako sa amin dati. Ulit-ulit kailan daw ako mag asawa😂 Noong nag asawa na ulit naman kailan mag aanak😂 Hanap ka na ng papa, hehe 28 ako nag asawa

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Hahahanep, tas nong naka anak na anong sunod, when daw susudnan? Hahaha

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Ahha malamang😂 Hindi na sila matatapos. Minsan na hindi na maganda naiisagot ko sa kanila, May pasabi pa minsan sa akin " naunahan ka na ng nakakabata mong kapatid".

Ay alangan mabuntis ako nasa ibang bansa asawa k0😂

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Hahahaha ambot sa kanila, ang dami ding talagang ano sa mundo ay ano hahaha dinaig kapa nagmamadali ata sila hahaha

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Haha oo,akala mo ba mag aambang sa pag gatas at diaper😂

$ 0.00
2 years ago

The question " why you haven't had a child yet " is the worst in my opinion. I mean, it may be painful and hurtful for couples who are trying or going through a difficult experience.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

It is really Dear, I experienced that

$ 0.00
2 years ago

This question sometimes sound silly and badly because the person you're asking the question being the husband or the wife would not feel good even when they have a good plan towards having children but it's always not right to ask the married people such questions, such questions can make them get upset and sad especially those who are praying for children.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Exactly that's what they feel

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I think it is the dream of many, to reach that point. At least I don't know if I really want that for my life, but what I do know is that it must be beautiful

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Maybe you are still young,.we don't really knows in the future.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

You are very right. These questions are very intrusive. It's crazy that someone will ask a couple why they don't have kids but I've seen it happen

$ 0.01
2 years ago

I belong to those who often ask, now I leaned my lesson that I should not too

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Grabe naman sila makatawag ng laon sa 25 years old oi, hehe..

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Haha ganyan naman kapag sitio sis.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I think it's crossing the line when someone asked about you over and over again about why you have no children yet. It's very way off the chart. Sensitive and very personal kasi yon na minsan nakaka offend rin.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Ya that is why sometimes I answered in not so good way😂. You're right it was a very sensitive issue that shouldn't be ask

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Minsan nakakainis ang mga ganong tanong sissy, wishing your wish come true sooner sissy, napakaswerte naman ng darating sa inyo.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Oo sis talagang nakakainis. Hehe darating din iyon sis

$ 0.00
2 years ago

While reading it I feel upset. Don't know how people ask them these questions!

$ 0.01
2 years ago

They were so insensitive Devil

$ 0.00
2 years ago

In God's perfect time sis bibigyan din kayo ni God ng baby. Traits ng pinoy basta my masabi Lang kahit di na dapat sabihin or itanong

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Kaya nga sis, in God's perfect time

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Trust his timing

$ 0.00
2 years ago