Questions shouldn't be asked to married couples.
MARRIAGE is the union of a man and a woman legally in the law of humans and in the law of GOD. (I just use the term man and woman though I know there some same sex marriage now).
Two in love human beings that decided to spend their life together till they live. Yes, that is still what I am believing in. I am just a normal individual who grew in a democratic country . And we are alwyas free to chose who we want to be with.
Those who have different definitions with me it's okay. Everyone of us is entitled with our opinions and perspective in life.
Well what I am trying to write today is not about marriage but rather questions that everyone should not ask to marriage couples.
Please take note that this is just based on my point of view. In short, based on my experience, lol!
THEIR AGE.
I know some had that ideal age for marriage so they would ask about the age. Oftentimes if they think couples are too young a negative comment will follow. Like , " Why marry at an early age? You are not yet ready for marriage. Are you sure both of you can take responsibility? Both of you are still immature. And many more. Tsskk, I believe anyone could marry as long as they are already of legal age. Aside from that, maturity and being responsible is not defined by age. Right?
On the other hand if people think that you married late still they would give nonsense comments. What I hate about it is when they say " Oh, you could no longer bear a child. You married late". Seriously?
I even experienced this every time I go on vacation in our place at countryside. Our neighbor's often asked me over and over again when I am going to marry. As per them I am already " LAON" (old maid). I was only in my mid-twenties at that time. Age 25 is already considered as an old maid in the countryside.
Followed by that " you can no longer bear a child line".
NUMBER OF OFFSPRING
One of the reasons for getting married is to build a family. So as expected when they know that a couple has been married for years everyone is expecting they already had a child or children. Yet not all wanted it. I know some couples who don't want to have a child. All of them have their own reasons and I could not change what they believe. One of my friends reasoned out that she and her husband were not ready for the responsibilities. Not on financial matters but on raising a kid to be a good individual. Both of them have family issues, and came from a broken family. Which I think has an effect on them.
Others have a lot of kids and seem to be aren't aware of family planning. We have this neighbor before who got pregnant yearly. She already have eight kids at that time. If someone would ask her how many children she has and would give a negative comment for sure they would end up into a heated argument. People are actually worried about her as she is struggling financially. Yet she always got mad.
WHY THEY DON'T HAVE A CHILD
Above all this is the question that shouldn't be asked. I am one of those who carelessly asked this question before until one time I realized my mistake. I was on a lunch break that time and having chit chatting to one of my officemates. Me being nosy was surprised to know she's been married for seven years. So I was expecting they already have kids. Yet she said they don't have any. I was so stup!d to ask why.
That was so insensitive of me! My office mate cried after I asked. Then she told us her frustrations and struggles just to have one. They already did their best and even consulted an OB for years but still negative. Since then, I never ask that question again.
I actually realized how it felt when I was the one being asked . I've been married since 2018. Oh my hubby and I will be celebrating our 4rth wedding anniversary this May. Time flies!
Oftentimes people would ask me why we don't yet have a kid. They kept on telling me over and over again that we should have at least ONE!
Of course we want to, we did work hard for it but sadly God hasn't blessed us yet. They don't know how frustrating it is on my part.
Actually , not only frustrating but it hurts especially for those who have been waiting for it for years.
What I have shared were mostly personal questions. Which I guess would be better if we should not ask to. Some people would like to maintain their privacy. If they don't share, it simply means they are not comfortable. Don't be a MARITES and BRANDO. ( term in Philippines to someone who love gossiping).
Aside from that you might stir or trigger negative emotions that they are trying to overcome.
That's all for today and have a nice day!
If you feel bored and want someone to talk with you can contact me here. I would surely reply as long as it's not my office hours.
Noise cash
Sometimes we don't intend to hurt them by asking these things :) But yes, we do need to be a little more sensitive :)