"How long a  Courting Stage should be?"

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2 years ago
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Courtship is a period where a couple develops a romantic relationship with a view of marriage or to be in a relationship. Usually both couples are going out for a date for the purpose of " getting to know each other".
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I decided to write about this topic when I read @Kushyzee article earlier entitled " Why do women always do this?" It somehow mentioned courtship which made me ask myself. How long should a man court before a woman would say YES?

As we all know, courtship has eventually evolved from generation to generation. Way back before during the time of our Grandparents courtship takes a long period and it usually happened at home. A man would visit the woman he likes into their home, talk to her parents and even ask permission from them. A parent's decision, opinion or decision was indeed important . I can still remember what I usually see in movies before men even rendered services into a woman's family. Maybe to have their approval too.

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There are even times that it was the parents whom the guy is courting with and upon getting their approval the woman doesn't have a choice but to say yes. It happened to my half-sister. It was her Mother and Grandma who decided for her.

Fast forward when I was a teenager, courtship was through love letters. With those colorful and scented stationery. Keypad cell phones were already in trend back those days but they were pricey. I was studying in a public school so most of us couldn't afford it.

It evolved into texting when I was in college. No more courtship at home. I bet some parents are even clueless that their daughters/sons are already in a relationship.

See? The courtship became easier as the years passed by. What more today when the presence of social media? With chat and video calls it was easier to set a date. 

Yet the question is how long should a  Courting Stage be?

I was curious so I asked my bestfriend GOOGLE, lol! It says it should take a minimum of six months. Yet it also says that it varies on the ages of partners. If they are 22 to 24 it should not be longer because they are already married. It also added that they might get distracted .
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Do you agree?

OMG google! Seems you are telling me that I am already too old when I got married because I was older than 24 when I said " I DO".

Aside from both couples' ages I believe that " Nationality" has something also a factor in courtship. I know there are some countries that are already liberated and they have another way of " DATING" or Courtship. Far different from us here in the Philippines.

What else? Maybe the beliefs and tradition where both couples were raised? I mean if I am from the countryside and you are a city boy for sure I would have some doubts and trust issues. Also we have different points of views so we believe in long courtship.
Most of the time our oldies are telling us not to trust a city boy as they are usually cheaters. I don't actually know where the idea came from. ( I know this is not true as there are also a lot of cheaters in the countryside, lol).

Aside from that many people believe that a long courtship period is a must for both partners to know each other well first before being in a relationship. Then you should have at least years as a BF and GF before getting married.

What was my opinion?

I don't believe in a long period of courtship. Why? Simple because it is COURTSHIP! Have you seen anyone who shows his/her bad side during that period? Maybe some but I am telling you most of them don't.

Some only ended up still being cheated by their partner whom they don't know better. Maybe not cheated but discovered some attitude that causes the break ups. Most of the time we will only know our partner after living together on one roof. 

So I would end this up unanswered, haha I just realized I myself didn't know how long a courtship period should be.

Ehh,, for me a month is okay, how about for you?

05:17 PM

05/15/2022_Manila_Philippines

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Avatar for Lhes
Written by
2 years ago

Comments

Dpende din kase yan sa transparency ng ugali madam. Although sa unang meet niyo, may initial impressions na kayo with each other. Mas maganda din na friendship muna ang foundation ng relationship para mas makilala niyo ang isat't isa.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Well I don’t know I am not married yet but I think the most should be 5 years if after 5 years you don’t want to get married then maybe it is not real

$ 0.01
2 years ago

That's include being in gf and bf stage?

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Yeah courting stage .. I am not saying 5 years is a must I am saying 5 years is the most

$ 0.00
2 years ago

ah okay, I was confuse because courting for me is not yet in relationship..hahah

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2 years ago

For real ? Tell me more I thought courting is just like dating

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2 years ago

haha we have different interpretation, Example: Yes we are dating but not in relationship, Just in getting to know each other stage. No intimate gestures. When I accepted you as a boyfriend then that' s the end of courting. Maybe courting is different in your country as it seems you, Olasquare and Princess says the same.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Yeah but wow thanks I have learnt some thing new today

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2 years ago

we really have different interpretation ..hahaha . How's does courting in your country works?

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2 years ago

From what I know courting is like dating or is even dating. When you are courting a lady it is a little more serious than the regular dating kids do these days. Courting is more official because all her family knows you and knows about your intentions towards her the only thing remaining is marriage.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

oh, but is there possibility of rejection?

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2 years ago

Of course but then they must be a very good reason for rejecting the person having gone that far with them

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2 years ago

For me, I don't think there is age limit to when courtship should be over and move to marriage because nowadays, many do not even wait or be patient because all they want is to get married and enjoy the fun part.

I would say courtship duration depends on both partner. How ready they are and if they are matured on all spheres of life, and they think they have studied each other enough, no one would stop them.

We have people who court for ten to fifteen years and still didn't get married while some court only for few months and boom, they are on their way tying the knot. It's all about how prepared are you in all ways: financially, mentally, economically, physically, socially, morally, etc.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

Yeah exactly! Courtship between teenagers and mature people varies. I also know some who were already prepared of stable enough to get married and yeah courtship.didnt took long

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I just gave a lengthy response to someone about this and I wish I can copy it. What I said is that there is no time frame that is perfect because it depends on the couples. A 7 years courtship crashed while a 6 months one worked. It's about what they are doing in that time frame. They should get to know each other. Like I said, someone courted someone for 4 years and it was when they got married he got to know she didn't want a baby...so what have they been doing while courting? Going to the cinema and kissing? What about honest conversation about the future? Most people don't have these conversations and that's why they crash when they marry. The key thing is communication and understanding.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

Wow well sadi Ola! Haha Its really hard to determine the.length of courtship as it always varies. Hehe i don't believe in long courtship anyway, it seems like wasting of time for me Ahmm, is kissing part of courtship? Lol!

$ 0.02
2 years ago

You will be shocked at the nonsense a lot of people do during courtship which makes them know nothing about their partner. They don't have any serious conversation... it's all about how good he or she is in bed...that's what they determine...

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I was a little confuse. Courtship for me are not yet couple. Haha you mean bf and gf stage?

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2 years ago

Yes. You will be shocked what people do at that stage...that's why they learn nothing.

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2 years ago

Haha courtship for me Ola does not include Bf and Gf stage..hahah so there was no monkey business. I supposed

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2 years ago

That's what I am saying...even those who courted - ready to marry. You'd be shocked about so little they know about each other.

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2 years ago

Hahaha OMG!

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2 years ago

If they don't know each other before, maybe they will take time to know each other in the courtship before talking about marriage, but if they have been friends for a long before courtship, they might have known each other good and bad sides and should be planning the future together.

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2 years ago

Alam mo Lhes, sa panahon ngayon mabilis na yung courting stage. Two days lang dahil may messenger na kaya madali nalang, isang voice message lang tapos na.

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2 years ago

I think it doesn't have a time frame. Courtship can last for months or years which depends on the partners. I'm saying this because, before you get married, you need to know majority of things about your partner so that your marriage will not fail. Once you know your partner to an extent, you can eventually get married to each other

$ 0.02
2 years ago

It is really hard to determine the time frame of coursthip.. hehe it always varies

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Nagpapaligaw kayo? Chariz hahaha.

I don't believe in courtship. Haha. Puro magaganda lang pakikita sayo kapag nanliligaw haha

$ 0.01
User's avatar Yen
2 years ago

Same here, kapag gusto G na agad

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Sa lahat ng naging jowa ko asawa ko lang nanligaw sakin hehe

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User's avatar Yen
2 years ago

Satin lang naman may courtship stage sis, hahaha! Conservative country kasi tayo pero lately nagiging liberated na, pero sakin lang pag gusto mo no need to make pakipot. Charot! Hahaha!

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Agree ako diyan sis! Apir

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Courting a women seems to exert alot of effort. But right now as I observed many young ones have deliberately give their yes. Hope everyone should pay attention for this trend .

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Haha courting styles.evolves..

$ 0.00
2 years ago

The courtship period varies according to the persons and the nature of the previous relationship between them. If they are friends and know each other, there is no need to be a long, but if it is to get acquainted with someone you do not know well, it should last longer

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Well said Lara, it always varies

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I think the courtship should last at least a month or two. I haven't tried to court and I am single since then. Hmm. It's a fact ate. Hahaha. I'm casually dating, but not into relationship like bf/gf.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Haha curious what kind of dating is that?

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I think google gave you a funny reply.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

My view of this is that there's no straight road to courtship, what works for one person may necessarily not work for another. Some people only have a very short courtship that last for a few weeks and they still end up being in a relationship for a very long time, while some people might court for several months or even years and will still breakup or divorce just a few months later, you just have to figure out what's best for you and pray it works out

$ 0.02
2 years ago

its really hard to determine no? I had an officemate she and her husband was together since highschool, teenage. They got married and have two kids. yet their relationship did not work, the guy cheated

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2 years ago

That's exactly my point. Why make a courtship stage very long if it doesn't guarantee a successful marriage? Many people hide their true nature during the courtship stage and as soon as they get what they want, they start misbehaving. Well, I guess everyone should just do what they think is best

$ 0.00
2 years ago

yeah, even I wasted four years in a relationship before, still we didn't ended up together.. hehe. Sometimes whirlwind romance is better, lol

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2 years ago

Lol, most relationships are just trials and errors, only a few lucky ones get it right on their first trial

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2 years ago

haha exactly!

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2 years ago

Nowadays, I think not beyond a week period, especially at the age of maturity; some don't need courtship upon smiling. It says the word hehe. But I think it's not the length of romance we should be aware of but the age we should find ourselves in that state, hehe. Too young is dangerous.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

hahah grabe naman sa ngiti lng

$ 0.00
2 years ago