Messed up body clock!

12th of February 2022

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It would seem that my sleep cycle has been messed up, I tend to stay awake until past midnight and wouldn't sleep until the early hours of the morning, thus making me wake up real late each time. I realise that I find it difficult to sleep at night but sleep better during mid-day. Almost like my mind has travelled to a country with a different time zone but my body remains on this plane of existence!

Speaking of plane of existence, I sometimes feel like I do not belong here, like my body is simply trapped in this country and the real me belongs in a place called Japan. I've always been obsessed with Japan since my childhood, long before I knew about something called Anime. I always loved the Japanese culture, their dressing style, language, long list of societal values, Ninjas, Samurais, 47-Ronin, and Yada Yada.

This obsession has always existed, and I don't think I'd ever get over it until I find myself in one of Japan's amazing cities- make new friends, have a Japanese girlfriend, have some fun and blah blah. I can speak a bit of Japanese myself, though not fluent but I can construct long sentences, talk about myself, the weather, ask for directions, places, board a taxi, read Japanese books written in Hiragana, Katakana, and a little bit of Kanji.

So far I know over a hundred Kanji and improving daily. I sometimes engage in simple telephone conversations with Japanese friends whom I met on the internet- a language app called "Hello talk". I've been using this app for quite some time but recently stayed off it as I've been chasing nothing but money lately (money is my latest obsession).

Enough of Japan, let's get back to my mental health and how it's diminishing due to lack of adequate sleep. I need to develop a new routine for myself in a bid to help balance my body clock once more. I'm always indoor all day and all night long since I basically work remotely. Being grounded to my in-house office for weeks and months isn't helpful for my health since I'm hypertensive and my body should be getting a little bit of exercises every now and then.

I'm considering adding short walks to my daily routine, perhaps it would help settle the internal conflict within me- I'm not referring to random pacing within the house from sitting room to dining room, and then to kitchen and back to my room... Nope.. but an actual walk which involves me going down the stairs, out the compound and taking a long walk around the streets to see things from another perspective!

I gotta set up a time table of my daily activities as well while ensuring I do not stay up late at night, I wanna sleep early like all humans do, unfortunately my brain is so messed up that it has made me believe I no longer require sleep, made me believe I'm able of cutting the corners and achieving feats beyond human capacity. Unfortunately, my brain is wrong as the effect of not having enough sleep would soon begin to tell on me. The comeback is always terrible, I wouldn't want to wait till this happens before cautioning myself.

Few minutes past 12 pm at the time of writing, I'd publish this long and boring article after which I'd have breakfast and go back to bed while seeing a random movie on my laptop and sleeping off somewhere between..

Thanks for reading my rants as usual, your comments and advices are always appreciated... Cheers!