Crazy inside of me!
May 28
Hello users!
I was so bombarded last night as I really don't know whats keep bothering on me. My mind has many thoughts that makes me feel I am in my low points. This thoughts running on me is one of the reason that lead me to lock the door, shut the window and bounce to my bed.
It started to feel the wet on my pillow, I was about tears on my eyes. This is insane moment as I don't know the behind reasons of this tricky moment that I got. It was like unexpected feelings got me!
Today, I woke up with heavy head with swollen eyes. Like why? It's because the happening last night.
I remember I was sitting down at the edge of my bed thinking about my journey why I am here right now suffering this kind of emotion. I know I am in the process this time but I can't avoid to be consistent in a positive sides. Truly, adulting makes you crazy in many ways.
I am a bit sad knowing that I can't move in some ways because of the lackings. Lack of financial one of the hindrance to make your plan and dreams hard to achieved. I feel guilty those ways that I, myself hard to provide my wants. Actually, I really need to go out or to make time for myself by connecting nature, beaches or make some space from my comfort zone in order for me to have a break and pauses of all things that bothered me. But why it's hard and it's hard. I'm in the point of not getting motivated by the quotes or any motivational words maybe I will be motivated some pennys haaha. Hays Why Life lead me this far by thinking about it. Probably, its because of this situation that money already involved at this main problem. Well, keep going and going!
The main reason why my crazy self experience that way its because I ask my worth in a negative way. Isn't it good? Yah, i know isn't!
After all the tears falling I lied at bed and pitying myself. Yah, poor lady I am! I hold my phone and replying message from one of my friend. Don't you know our chitchats was exchanging jokes. My chats involved with laughters like 'HaHa' while my eyes brimming tears. (Habang tumatawa sa chats, umiiyak nmn yung mata ko) so crazy! Hahaha Of course, a great pretender.
At the end of our convo. I already told Agnes which is my chatmate last night that I am not okay with this feelings of mine. As she knows about that she confronted me with concerns. It helps me alot as well knowing that once you told your emotions to others they will response you with positive vibes. Always pray, Be strong and have courage.
No matter what it takes just keep expressing our emotions because if we fail doing it for sure it's hard to get back on our track.
It's okay to feel like crazy mentally and emotionally but let us not forget that life is like a wheels it might up and down but it should not stop.
Keep going lang po sis kaht gaano kahirap ako Ang buhay ako kasi mas okay sakin mapagod kesa mapagod kaka isip