That's It! I Quit!
I've been in a toxic relationship for years and years. I've ended it before but gone back. It is time to end it for good.
This toxic party has gone by a few names. Phillip Morris and R.J.Reynolds are the two I'm most familiar with. It's all the same, regardless of name.
This has been the most toxic relationship of my entire life! Three times I've walked out for 9 or 10 or 11 months. Another time I left for 7 months. The longest I've been able to stay away has been 3 years.
My recent bout of illness has taught me that this thief, this grifter has got to go! I've been robbed of my money and my health.
It is so difficult to walk away, though. I'm addicted.
The times I've walked out before, I felt so horrible I had to replace this toxic relationship with another just as toxic. And yet, I'm committed.
Or maybe I need to be committed.
Either way, I'm done. I'm out. I'm kicking Phillip and R.J. to the curb. Goodbye, boys. I'm tossing your butts in the trash. I'm disgusted with myself for having kept you around for so long. You're too expensive. You're too abusive. And even though you're too addictive, I'm going to do my damndest to put you and keep you, where you belong. In the ashcan.
Really.
I mean it this time.
For REAL.
I'm quitting.
Right after this last one.
^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^
I'm obviously not talking about my husband or any human being. I'm talking about cigarettes. It is high time I end my relationship with these toxic sons-a-bitches.
I've already started the process at which I was the most successful quitting. It may take a few weeks, but I'll get there. I've already chewed so much gum my teeth squeak.
I'll have to have some sort of nicotine replacement while I taper off of the cigarettes. It will be worth it to buy some nicotine gum, regardless of the high cost because I'll save much more money than I'll spend.
I remember when the price of cigarettes went from 75 cents to 95 cents. I swore I would quit smoking when they cost more than 1 dollar.
I didn't.
Cigarettes in Texas, at the time of this writing, cost $6.69 for my brand. With a tax of $1.41, I'm shelling out over $8.00 every time I buy a pack. It is simply too much.
Symptoms of my recent illness included a cough and pretty severe chest pains. If my wallet can't convince me to quit, surely my health will. It will, right? RIGHT??
For even more motivation to quit, I looked up how much cigarettes cost in New York. We are moving to New York within the next year or so. There, at the time of this writing, cigarettes cost $12.85 per pack with a tax of $4.35. I would have to pay $17.20 for each pack. Damn! I think heroin is cheaper. At the New York price and based on how many cigarettes I smoke per day right now, I would be spending over $3,000.00 per year. That's more than property taxes!!!
And my husband smokes more than I do.
So, it is time. For all the reasons. And I'm starting today.
*unwraps another piece of gum
*wishes it had nicotine
Last time I quit, I allowed myself to gain as much weight as I needed in order to kick the addiction. I gained 50 pounds (22.6 kg). That's a lot of weight to gain. I also gained diabetes and too high cholesterol.
I can't allow myself to gain that much this time. Also, I apologize in advance for getting extremely short tempered. I'll do my best to keep my snarky comments and opinions in my brain.
For accountability purposes, this is my taper program:
1st week 10 cigarettes per day
2nd week 9
3rd week 8
4th week 7
5th week 6
6th week 5
7th week 3
8th week 0
I may actually completely stop sooner than 8 weeks out, but a do want to give myself a little bit of cushion. My official quit date will be February 14. Valentine's day. Because quitting is good for my heart.
And my wallet.
So.
Here goes. . .
🚫🚫🚫❌❌❌🚬🚬🚬
I have never tried a cigarette in my life, and the truth is that my father is what has made me not even curious. He smoked, and a lot, it destroyed his health.