Somebody help, it’s getting worse

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Avatar for Jinifer
1 year ago

"If suicide ever crosses your mind, just know I would rather listen to your story than attend your funeral. "


I'm not very good at comforting people, but I would always do my best to listen to all of their rants and be there for them whenever they needed me the most, especially when they were going through a difficult time and felt like the world was against them. People like them really need someone who will accompany them and make them feel that they are not alone and that someone is with them who will cheer them up when they feel like they’re so down.

Have you ever received a message from someone telling you that they want to end their life already? How would you feel after reading the message?

One of the most common reasons that can trigger someone’s depression and anxiety is their family. It is ironic how a family is our strength, but it can also be our greatest weakness and can also be the reason for all of our heartaches and disappointments that made us question what was wrong with us. Our family serves to be our source of strength and motivation, but the sad thing is that our strength and motivation make us feel weak and unmotivated in life. We can’t help but question ourselves: what was wrong with us, or why can’t we make them feel so proud of us? The more we push ourselves to make our family proud, the more disappointed they become. Why is that?

I guess we can all relate to this common scenario in a particular family, and mostly in an Asian family. Consider yourself lucky if your family won't pressure you so much and push you to do this and that just to make you fulfill their desired goal for you. Why did I suddenly make a write-up like this? It is because a friend of mine just shared something with me and I can relate to everything she felt.

When you reach the age of '20s, they will expect you to already have a job that can support you and them. And that they will expect you to give something in return to them if you already have a job because if you don’t give anything, you will become someone to them who doesn’t know how to give back to the family. It’s so sad that if you can’t give something or do something that they want, you will become a disappointment to them. And that’s the toxic side of most Asian families (not all), which are truly fucked up.

Translation:

"They don't understand my side"

"When you did everything for your family and put so much effort to it, but still they didn't see it"

"They only see me as a happy-go-lucky girl because that's what I always portray infront of them because I don't want them to be sad"

"I already did everything but it's still not enough for them"

I can’t help but feel sad about what my friend messaged me. You can really feel how much stress she felt and how much pressure her family put on her. The never-ending complaints and forcing her to do this and that, even though she doesn’t like it and it's against her will, for her family she must endure it. And what’s worse is that being compared to the other person. That feeling when we did everything to please them but still didn’t see and appreciate how much effort you put into it.

 My apologies if I won't be able to translate this one.

It's strange how I was able to say exactly what I needed to hear. Despite the fact that I was also suffering from depression, I did my best to tell her the words she needed to hear. I can't tell her that we're having the same problems right now because I want to stay positive and strong so that I can be with her and comfort her. Because if we both break down at the same time, I won't be able to cheer us up. In times like these, one must be strong. At the end of the day, we only have ourselves to worry about.

We only have ourselves, which is why we shouldn't let ourselves down. We may fall a hundred times and fail a thousand times, but we should always fight back and prove to them that we're way better than those people who think that we're nothing compared to them.

"Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something inside you that is greater than any obstacles"

- Christian D. Larson



YOU'RE ALLOWED TO SCREAM AND YOU'RE ALLOWED TO CRY.

BUT ALWAYS REMEMBER,

DO NOT GIVE UP!



Jini's Note:

I know each one of us are fighting our own battles in life, and I know you guys can overcome it because you're way stronger than I think you are.

Life's hard, and it truly is. But we must fight for it and face the reality. We all can do this.

Stay safe everyone!

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1 year ago

Comments

You will get through it. After this darkness, you will see how blinding the brightness God will open up for you. Cheer up! I've been there. Let it out! Scream to the world that you will be your champion. Ignore what they're saying. You and your friend are doing your best. You know your hard work and you don't have to prove to them that you are actually doing something to make them proud. Make the results of your hard work make noise.

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1 year ago

exactly! salamat sis :>

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1 year ago

I feel pity ate. Naluluha ako kapag tipong dalawa na kayong depress tapos wala kayo maasahan na makikinig kundi kayo kayo lang din.

I think ate, you must be a listener na lang din. Minsan ung may mga ganyang depression, di nila kelangan ng advice. Sometimes, they just badly need someone to show empathy at makikinig sakanila.

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1 year ago

I can feel her sadness through her chat. It's hard on sons/daughters' part to be compared to other people despite doing our best to make them proud. I hope that she will get through what she's feeling right now, I am glad that you are on her side in times if she needed someone to talk to.

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1 year ago

In my life sometimes I really feel disappointed with my life. I also feel that maybe it's end my life.But after a while some of my friend tell me that suicide is not a solution. Then I also agree with them and changed my life.

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1 year ago

Hala uie, naka.relate ko'g gamay sa side sa nag.message nimo sis. Pero now I realized na, na dili gyud maayo nga maghuna.huna ta nga magsuicide kay very bad gyud na kaayo.. Tas sa jud na kaayo sa Ginoo..

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1 year ago

mao gyud te, sometimes maka huna huna ta og mga negative stuff, pero dili jud na maayo nga buhaton kay dili jud na mao ang maka solve sa tanan problema

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1 year ago

You are right. When we are over twenty years old, the family wants us to stand by them for any job. We get frustrated when we don't get a job.

Your inspirational words will benefit those who are frustrated like me. We have to live this life by fighting the war, not by losing.

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1 year ago

Shared grief is half the sorrow. Sometimes it is in others that we find strength either from their advice or that we come to a realization that we are stronger than we think. I guess we just have to be more open about our feelings and hope that we come to an understanding. Be there for your friend. Be there for each other.

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1 year ago

Excellent post, I have a friend, who suffers from depression and has suicidal tendencies, I try to talk to her every day and give her encouragement and the love that I can give her, since she does not want to receive professional help,

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1 year ago

Ang mas nakakalungkot talaga ee pag yung sariling family mo pa ang nakakapag trigger para maisip mong mag suicide. Bat kasi ganon sila no 🥺

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1 year ago

Mao ni nakalisud jud ba. I am suicidal din kasi minsan sis and I needed someone/people like you who is willing to lend an ear. :(

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1 year ago

No Surrender Jini! I hope you are okay too, I am a good listener if ever you need someone to vent and rant to, And I hope your friend is okay too sending you big hugs karon

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1 year ago

No Surrender! Laban lang! Daghang Salamat kuya ed :>

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1 year ago

I love how you handled the matter of your friend. It will be a sad thing for her when you also tell her you are going through similar thing. Even if we are going through a challenge and someone comes to us with a challenge, don´t worry about yours but be positive and encourage such person because doing that, both of you would have the strength to move on and ignore whatever comes your way.

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1 year ago

Exactly princess. In times like this, one must have to be positive and give positive energy. I just let her express what she felt and let her know that she's not alone.

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1 year ago

It happens in some families, including mine. They can't understand what mental health is. Let's just keep ourselves motivated if no one will. Just always remember that God is always with us.

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1 year ago

Yup, we only have ourselves but we can be motivated by God's presence

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1 year ago

Sad to say that this sort of issue does not receive serious attention. Many people have committed suicide due to neglecting their feelings like they doesn't care. To think of it will just worsen if people tend not to pay attention on this.

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1 year ago

True. Sad thing is that most people who are suffering like this couldn't speak out and express their feelings because they will only receive words such as overdramatic.

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1 year ago

Kakapoy ana no. Okay man mo give back sa family but naa pod unta limitations. Mao ni di dali mounlad mga pinoy kay imbis naa na capacity na mounlad magamit man nuon sa panginahanglanon sanpamilya. Never-ending cycle na. Toxic na. Murag gianak ra ka para mobuhi or motabang unsa ba.

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1 year ago

mao gani, though dili tanan pero mostly jud sa mga pinoy kay hingon ana ang mindset nga murag nag anak lang sila para naay mo buhi sa ilaha. tsk

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1 year ago