Join 92,018 users already on read.cash

Forgiving Doesn't Always Mean Forgetting

27 35
Avatar for Jeaneth
Written by   455
1 week ago

When someone has wronged you, do you forgive them by forgetting the things they've done? Or do you forgive them but keep their mistakes in your mind as your protection to limit your expectations from them?

When you got hurt, the only way to fully move on from that situation is to forgive the person. You forgive the person, not for them but to give yourself the inner peace that you needed. It is tough to forgive especially if that person caused you so much anguish and grief.

Others would say that forgiving is forgetting. How can you forgive the person if you won't forgive what they need? I mean, that's people-pleasing. Not forgetting the act of the person doesn't necessarily mean that you did not genuinely forgive the person.

It is some sort of building boundaries with the person who has wronged you because you're afraid of getting hurt again. I don't think it's a selfish move to not forget what they did. It's about protecting your peace.

I firmly believe that forgiveness is a gift. Everyone knows this exists but not everyone has the nerves to practice it. Probably a lot of people already practiced this but got abused and so they let go of it and be overwhelmed with anger. Letting go of the negative emotions takes a lot of courage and time to forgive the person.

Subconscious forgiveness

This is when you forgive the person and not dwell on the past by putting everything behind you and start to move on. The issues beforehand don't matter anymore as you don't let those situations slow you down.

Are you familiar with the song "The Past" by Ray Parker Jr., popularized by Jed Madela? The lyric goes like this, "I must forgive you, you must forgive me too. Cause there's no sense in going over and over, the same things as before. So let's not bring the past back anymore."

This is more of equalizing the situation by stating their individual mistakes in the relationship. It's about getting revenge on one another because of what they did to each other but they just choose to forgive and forget.

I can say that this one is an easier way of forgiving because both of them committed mistakes. If this happens, nobody should turn a blind eye to their mistakes. But somehow it makes me think that the relationship is on the verge of not breaking apart already because they chose not to be honest with each other and instead they cheated. Then again, at least they settled it down.

Emotional forgiveness

This is when radical love or kindness kicks in. When you have a forgiving heart, especially an emotional one, it's easy for you to forgive someone who has wronged you. Although it would take so much time and a wise decision to arrive at that aspect.

You come up to thinking where you hate the sin and not the sinner but it will take a lot of courage to process everything. It's going to be a challenge for us humans who mostly see things around justice.


So when you forgive, do you forget what the other person did, or do you keep the memories to yourself to protect yourself and limit expectations if it happens again?


Lead image source


Thanks for reading.

Keep safe everyone!

12
$ 11.33
$ 11.15 from @TheRandomRewarder
$ 0.03 from @kli4d
$ 0.03 from @Ling01
+ 7
Avatar for Jeaneth
Written by   455
1 week ago
Enjoyed this article?  Earn Bitcoin Cash by sharing it! Explain
...and you will also help the author collect more tips.

Comments

Ako ang dali kog magpatawad kasi ako yung nakokonsensya at nabibigatan yung puso na of hindi ako nagpatawad para nadin sa peace ko.

$ 0.00
1 week ago

I admire you for that but isn't it people-pleasing? I mean, you should put your welfare first before others?

$ 0.00
1 week ago

Hindi naman po sadyang hindi lang ako sanay na may dinadala na mabigat sa puso. Pero yung sobrang kasala na hindi nayun pwede at talagang pinapatigas ko puso ko hahaha

$ 0.00
1 week ago

I see. Hehe. Tama naman.

$ 0.00
1 week ago

Depende cguru qng ano ung kasalanan ng isa. Pero maganda p ring magpatawad though mahirap kalimutan, proteksyon na din cguro sa sarili

$ 0.00
1 week ago

Yes madam lalo na kung sobrang devastating ng ginawa niya against you. Really hard.

$ 0.00
1 week ago

Di ako madali magalit before, but now I don't know small mistake lang nagagalit na ako, siguro na abuso :D

$ 0.00
1 week ago

I can sense that you have come a long way to arrive into this situation. 🥺

$ 0.00
1 week ago

I forgive for my own peace madam hehe

$ 0.00
User's avatar Yen
1 week ago

Kahit na na-aabuso na ang personal spacw mo madam?

$ 0.00
1 week ago

For me Jeaneth, I would always learn to forgive ang pangit kasi mabuhay sa mundo na may hinagpis and hinanakit. I've been into keeping hatred in my heart to the point na I feel it is eating me alive.

$ 0.00
1 week ago

Does that mean that you forget what they did to you pud?

$ 0.00
1 week ago

Your title says it all sis, I can forgive but I can't forget especially when it really hurts. The pain might not be there but the scar always remind me.

$ 0.00
1 week ago

Scars, where stories are left behind. 😬

$ 0.00
1 week ago

I guess it depends sa nature ng kasalanan but we are indeed called to forgive just as Christ had forgiven us. It maybe hard talaga specially if the wrong doing caused so much pain but I believe that with the help of the Holy Spirit, forgiving is possible.

However, it is also important to set boundaries for our sake. We can't just say I forgive you and everything is fine agad.

It doesn't mean also forgetting the act because deep inside that will hunt us too. So I can forgive but things won't never be the same.

$ 0.00
1 week ago

I agree madam. 💯 lisod jud mgpasaylo oy, and like you sad, things will never be the same.

$ 0.00
1 week ago

When I forgive, with time I just forget what had happened and it works well for me

$ 0.00
1 week ago

Even if how devastating and damaging they did to you?

$ 0.00
1 week ago

One of my favorite song madam,The Past.. ako ndi nakakalimot madam at never expect na maging the same ang status natin after ng ginawa mo, kaya kong maging civil sayo if needed

$ 0.00
1 week ago

True madam and it's not being fake naman diba? It's more of maturity to be civil with them.

$ 0.00
1 week ago

Forgiveness isn't for everyone... You shud learn to forgive yourself first... And you never forget because that's how you learn

$ 0.00
1 week ago

I agree madam. Yan din yung panghawakan mo to learn from it eh.

$ 0.00
1 week ago

Yep. Learning starts from there..

$ 0.00
1 week ago

Makapasaylo ko madam pero dili ko kalimot. In fact dali ra ko makapasaylo ug taw pero I can't guarantee nga mao lang gihapon ang way sa akong pagtagad. Naa jud nay kabag-uhan.

$ 0.00
1 week ago

That's true madam. Syempre, medyo distant najud ta ana nila kay na fail nila ato expectations.

$ 0.00
1 week ago

I forgive but don't forget ate Jea. Hihihi. Of course, at some point, we really have to forgive the person who have wronged us for our own peace of mind, but just like what you've said, I won't forget the hurt that they've caused me to atleast, protect myself from being hurt by the same action again.

$ 0.00
1 week ago

Same here Neil, and it's not holding a grudge diba? Establish lng tag boundaries and that person should earn our trust again.

$ 0.00
1 week ago