April 20, 2022
Darkness seems to fill the world this day as it appears so gloomy outside, is there a calamity on the other side? Clouds seem heavy that will burst out at any time, so roads and streets will be wet again and it's not fine. Going out would make my shoes messy, in my abode, I would rather stay.
Entertainment, I guess I need it, as my mood seems heavy. Can anyone make me feel happy? It seems like dark and heavy clouds are hovering over me. At any time, they will shed tears, and escaping from them would probably be hard for me.
My eyes want to sleep more, my fingers want to stop writing, and my body and mind want to stop working. For a peculiar reason, my day seems blue which makes me feel demotivated to pursue things. All I want is to pause, relax, or sleep. What makes me feel heavy? I literally don't know. Am I burnt out? I guess so.
Over time, I'm getting exhausted. I'm tired, but I have goals, just like what Jeaneth said. Oftentimes, I would mull over this matter, "can we stop for a while and just mind ourselves?" I know you too feel the same at times and just wanted to take a break from grinding. But what else can we do? We have to move our arses before things move us in the wrong direction figuratively.
Time sometimes doesn't work in my favor as it always paces so fast even how much I want to stop it for a while. Nights are extended just to finish some tasks, and once my alarm buzz in the morning, I have to get up and start grinding again. A never-ending routine.
Investments would sometimes ruin my day and I feel like I'm just wasting my precious crypto on them. Or is it me to blame as I lack time and mismanaged them? Why do I keep buying if I don't want to sell? Stacking more is definitely not a good strategy.
Venting this out, I hope it would help me lessen this heavy feeling. Yesterday I was fine, today is blue, what will happen tomorrow? This change of mood is kind've annoying at times and my emotions seem to go along with the weather status and some factors.
After this day, I wish it'll be a sunny day. Because having a gloomy feeling is certainly not okay. Confusion in my mind isn't helping at all, and the complicated real world is just making it worse. How to make our own harmonious world? Probably in our lone moment.
Time flies so fast and still, my mind isn't at peace and my emotions didn't subside yet. Should I wait for the sun to come out so I couldn't see the shadows of these dark clouds hovering above me? Just like Helen Keller said, "keep your face in the sun and you will never see the shadows."
End of the week, I want to come so fast. An escape I truly needed much. On the mountain, maybe I'll be fine and let nature heal my broken soul. Fresh air, that's what I need, as living in these four corners of the house is suffocating. The vibrant colors of nature might help me restore my mind and body.
Demotivated...that's what I currently feel. Or am I just lazy to grind? Probably exhausted or burnt out! We all need a break, I do need it. My thoughts are scattered and I can't hold them tight. So pardon me for these rants and random ramblings.
Still, don't mind me, I'm just venting this out.
Thanks for stopping by.
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As of now, I seems to be "demotivated." I know that it's not laziness kasi iba yung bigat ng pakiramdam ko, Ate eh. Kung pwede lang tumigil mag-grind kahit isang araw lang pero sayang eh~ hayst.
Siguro stress or burnt out ako? Or sadyang di pa nakaka-move on utak ko from what happened last Saturday night? I wanna get it through but kapag nakikita ko si Papa na walang gana, nahahawa ako. 🙍🏼♀️