I Wanna Go Back!

Sitting at the bench, looking the captivating view with deeply thoughts. A heavy tears and a painful heart. Speechless. Aches. Burdens. Crawling at myself. Thinking the current life.

I wanna go back! I wanna go back with the days I always witness the smile walling in my eyes. The unending happiness that surrounds at me. The days with a lot of promises and turn into real. The lovely music attached in my ears. Always give me a hopes and a joyous faces.

The days you were always beside at me. Sitting beside at me. Never tired listening to me. Always comforting me. Always giving me a motivational words. The days you always give me a random surprises. We were always holding each other through ups and downs.

"Why?!"

"What happened now?!"

"You never give me an answers!"

"Am I deserve for this!?"

The days you never forget your promises. You always showed the real meaning of love even you know the past. I was broke but you came all of a sudden. I never ask in my whole life but you came in unexpected time. At first, I didn't believe in you. I didn't trusted you. The bitterness was always at myself. It always wins. Never been ruined but when you came the world change.

"You heard it?"

"The world change when you exist in my life."

You help me to stand. You help me to wake up. You help me to realize again the true meaning of life when it comes to love. I was bitter that time. The heart stone always attached on me. I never listened to you at first. I was really afraid. I felt the fears. A biggest trauma always with me.

I thought you would be tired but I was totally wrong. You continued. I was full of curiosity until I realized. The sincerity from yours was totally real. Your words were real and I was really sure it was from your heart.

"You are the one who step the situation."

"You are the one who put a different light colors."

Until the day you make me believe. I started to change for a new beginning. I didn't have any doubts anymore. It was the happiest day. I felt I scape already from the darkness. I felt the freedom. I was back already from my happy faces. I understand already and give me a self-realizations. I couldn't explain what I felt. The day that no one can replace. It was because of you.

I walked again with the path of hopes. I have a tears of happiness. I sang, jumping and felt the hopes of everyday.

"You are the one who start it."

"You are the one who help me that time."

You always showed to me how much you love me. Your care endlessly. You wipe my tears the moment of downtimes. The situation who bring me to the ground and you were always there to save me.

"The days you gave me a thing for my tears."

So thankful!

Now, where are you? You exist but the old one is gone already. You have me, you are in front of me. You are always beside at me but I never felt it. Everyday I always looking for you, the old one. I'm still hoping that one day I find the old you.

You change me, you help me. Now I saw your presence but you are always not there. I didn't saw you.

"Why?!"

"You make me cry all the time!"

"I just want to tell you!"

"I wanna go back!"

"I wanna go back the past we had"

Until now, I was like an empty thing that never understand why all these things happened.

"You left me without any words."

"You left me alone in this situation I've been going through."

"You left me empty."

"I miss you the old you and I wanna go back!"

"Where are you?!"

I wanna go back when you were always planning with our future. I wanna go back when you were always bring me a laughter. I wanna go back when you were always planned for us. Outing! Hiking! Unwind! You were the one who always planned those things. I wanna go back when you were always cooked me some foods, my favorite one. I wanna go back when you were always with me all the time.

"I wanna go back!!!"

This is only fictional.

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Thank you so much. I hope I give you some worthy time with this article of mine.

God bless everyone. Stay safe always. 🙏

-JRamona20 💜