Inheriting enemies

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2 years ago

One of the worst mistakes we do make as humans is inheriting a friend’s enemy or foe. It’s a good thing to be a supportive friend who watches out for his friend’s interest but it shouldn’t go on to the stage of hating someone simply because your friend says he/she doesn’t like the person for no reason. While in high school, my friend “Noah” who is known to pick up fights with almost everyone reported a guy to me.

Hate can be as dangerous as a potentially deadly virus. The easiest way to catch a bad hate is to inherit the enemy of a person or people you know or love. I hate, therefore I am. This is the mindset of a broken brain. The real danger is thinking that you can hate the right people, that is, the people standing in your way.

Hate is a very difficult emotion to manage, it is an emotion that is impossible to master. The strength of hate can not only destroy you but destroy the object of hatred. You must realize that the one who hates you is your enemy and you should not treat them as a friend or ally. that person has made his position clear, he does not want to work with you, he does not want to be a friend or fellow citizen he wants to destroy you. If you hate you are no different than the hater, if your enemies are only made because someone else hates them then you will never overcome your hate for them until they take the first step in expecting you and coming back to you. If a hater would come and forgive you and ask for an apology then accept that apology do not try to turn it around because they can not handle it.

Here in Nigeria, especially the Yoruba tribe, we take the issue of respect very important. When talking or referring to an older person or someone in a higher position, one is expected to use “E” as a prefix and when talking to someone younger or beneath one in ranking, the prefix “O” is used. Noah had an issue with a guy over the use of “o” instead of “e”. He told me and because of that, I turned the guy into an enemy. Truly, he is older than us, but the fact that he is demanding for “e” (respect) made us disrespect him the more. This led to a series of fights and throwing of shades whenever we see him on the way.

A few years down the lane, this guy came home with my older brother. They work at the same place and became close friends. I was embarrassed when I saw him and sought ways to hide from him, for I know the things I’ve said to him in time past. My brother noticed the awkwardness and ask me why but I couldn’t tell the main reason why I hated him. I was busy fighting blindly for a  friend.

So many of us do this too. We say “My friend’s enemy is my enemy”. we’ve lost so many opportunities because we are fighting our friends battle.

Another kind of hatred which most times do us more harm than good is, hating on someone simply because they are arrogant or they have a bad trait. I’m no lover of arrogancy but I don’t let a person’s arrogancy lead to me hating or criticizing the person’s work. In my noisecash post earlier today, I mentioned this popular footballer “Zlatan Ibrahimovic “who is known for his arrogancy. In several instances, he has made different comments that caused a stir in various corners. People say he is proud, futile and pompous. But to me I believe, he might be all what they say he is but, that doesn’t dispute the fact that he is one of the greatest strikers of his generation. He has proven himself times without number at different leagues. He might say things that look illogical sometimes but he has done the illogical at different times too.

Someone (@SM36) replied to my noise post with the name of another sports man known for his arrogancy but a great cricketer. I went on to search for his name “Virat Kholi” and I read reports of how great he is.

The question is, how do not you inherit their enemy? how to say, "I'm sorry, I disagree with my friend. I'll try to be friends with him." This is the only way to reduce the problems caused by hateful relationships and make best friends.

In essence, as Julalaine said in her reply to my post “… do not let someone’s judgement of others blind you of the goodness you might see in them”

Thanks for Reading!🏹💚🤗

 

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2 years ago

Comments

I can say this. It is very common among girls. Girls walk and do things in groups. So, if one of the member is having issues with a girl outside the group, it is the duty of all her friends to also hate the lady in particular or severe ties with her. Weather the reason for the beef is tangible or not,nobody cares.

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2 years ago

I don't inherit enemies and one thing I usually tell myself is; "as long as the person haven't done anything to me, then it's not my battle". But sometimes there are some few exceptions, especially when I am there with my friend to witness another person being downright rude

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2 years ago

There are instances that I can't really stop myself hating my friends enemy. But most of the time, I mind my own business and I don't really want to have an enemy so hmm.

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2 years ago

The truth is that one enemies should be your friend enemies cause when you are into a friend and relating with your friend's enemies then it some how a kind of betrayal

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2 years ago

A friend's enemy shouldn't be your enemy because when they settle they might leave you and you will still be keeping grudges. The best thing is to advice or probably wait till they settle their differences.

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2 years ago

We need to be careful so we don't end up becoming an enemy to someone who might be our helper just because he or she is an enemy to our friend.

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2 years ago

I think we should not love/hate people just because my friend do the same. Friends are our Mirror but it is upto us either we see in the mirror only or outside of mirror to watch the whole World. Good to see some Nigerian respectful terms. It is good to use to show respect for someone who deserved.

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2 years ago

I was fond of this act at my early stage of life, it wasn't from a friend but from parents. They had quarrel with a close by family and thru told all of us(children) not to pass their compound not greet any of them. Could you believe that we did exactly as they asked? Lol. We found their compound "witchcrafting" and we stayed off. But when I grew up, I had to let that go without my family consent. It doesn't make sense to go to play ball and because the son of the enemy is around I won't play. Nah!

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2 years ago

This is a food for thought. We should not hate someone on another person's behalf.

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2 years ago

I’ve hate someone because my friend hate the person which I lose a lot from the person it pains me but one day I just leave my prides and go beg him. In life we shouldn’t hate each other because of what happened among others.

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2 years ago

This is so regular in African homes we tend to hate who our parents hate even without having a reason

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2 years ago

Sometimes people tend to tell us negativity towards the person coz he/she hate it. If we see the goodness of such person, why believing that he's bad at all?

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2 years ago

Honestly the most foolish expectation a being can have of me is to be at loggerhead with his or her enemy for no tangible reasons. Yes, I may be courteous of my dealings with them( the supposed enemies) but don't expect me to hate them because you do.

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2 years ago

My dear brother, even christ jesus was hated and eventually killed by his oqn people he loves so much -the Jews. So i think we must all be very careful whom we call our fruends and how we relate issues conserning us to them cos hate is but a very strong thing in the world

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2 years ago

A good kind of "nemesis" is when, at the expense of competition, it motivates you and you get better results in your work.

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2 years ago

In my case, my friend's enemy is non of my business 🤣. Seriously, if I know that my friend is wrong.. Then I wouldn't agree with her and rather make her actions right..

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2 years ago

Inherited enemies remain lifelong enemies. No matter how hard you try to be his friend, you still have a grudge against him. it's my opinion.

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2 years ago

Hmm these is a grate topic , there has been a great rumour every that says ; my friend enemy is my enemy . We most time hate some one because we don't want to loose friendship . The best ideal we all have to do his to disagree with them , I mean when ever our friends tell us he or she hated someone we should just try to let them know . I really appreciate you @Happyboy for introducing me to these wonderful platform

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2 years ago

You're right buddy,we shouldn't allow other people's judgement to blind us of the good things we might find in them,we shouldn't put on hatred but try to say sorry and be friends with everyone.

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2 years ago

Hahaha😂Sometimes as friends we just don't care if is our friend to blame or not, we just want to see our friend win.

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2 years ago

"The enemy of my friend is my enemy" this causes more problems than good. I've seem so many real life examples where this caused serious damage amd unfortunately it became too late to cure. This is more coming among Africans, the yoruba especially; I guess it's a part of their culture. I don't know anything, just speculating.

BTW it's my first time on this platform.. wrote an introductory post already.

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2 years ago

Feeling of hatred is not good and doesn't help anyone, we should learn to forgive.

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2 years ago