Breakfast at Night.

Hey, it's been long I've wanted to have this conversation with you. We haven't been so lucky to have a heart to heart talk. I keep on pushing it and hoping someday you'll bring up the topic but you didn't. Better I put it all into writing, that way I can talk about anything without being interrupted or getting drowned in your alluring eyes. I can't remember when exactly I fell for you but I know the love I have for you is incomparable. I love you to the extent that it hurts.

It was hard asking you the question that has always been on my mind but when I finally did I felt relieved. The fear of rejection and possible strain on our relationship made me bottle my feelings for you for years. I watched you go out with other guys and I pretended not to care while I weep in my closet, hitting myself for not being "Man enough" to talk to you. Maybe it's in the way I was brought up. I no longer care when my friends call me Nerd, Coward, weakling and other names. I know they aren't lying because truly, that's what I am.

I didn't know why you are so different, talking to ladies has never been my problem but with you things were different. Anytime I look into your deep blue eye I lose all confidence and all words I've practised fly out of my head. I hated myself for being a slave to your beauty and your carefree attitude. But I'd be lying if I say I don't enjoy being enchanted by you.

Okay, back to the day I popped the question. I was relieved that I've finally spoken my mind but sad because I know things would never be as they used to be. I saw the fire ignite in your eye but I didn't know whether to be happy or sad. You smiled and asked since when have I been in love with you but I replied that it's been long. You asked for time to think about it. You said 48 hours should be enough. That was the longest 48 hours of my life. I started having doubts and I feared the worse. I can remember writing a long message to you. The longest I have ever written. Telling you it was a momentary loss of concentration. You shouldn't take my words as a serious one, it's all joke. After pressing the send button I knew it's a big mistake. I'm back into the tiny hole of despair I thought I'd left. You said we are still friends and nothing can destroy our friendship.

We continued our friendship and things were back to how they used to be until the day you challenge me and asked why I didn't wait for a reply before backing out. Over a year that it happened and from nowhere you asked me that question. I stuttered trying to give an excuse but words didn't come out. You smiled and started another conversation to cover my blushes. I know you were trying to save me from further embarrassment. So thoughtful of you!. We continued our friendship but I knew it was more than that. We became inseparable, your voice became my medication. Without hearing it a day, I'm at risk of visiting the doctor. A certain night I took up the courage to ask- "What are we?", and you sounded hurt and shocked. You ask me to do the right thing and that was how our journey began.

At some point, we both started having doubts. You were afraid it won't last, you will end up hurting me while I was afraid that I'm not good enough for you. You're just so perfect in everything, you're intelligent, smart, beautiful and cheerful. You never let any situation or problem break you. Instead, you march on with determination to succeed more than before.

The situation might have separated us, and our chats reduced to “hi”, I still love and cherish you. I’d want no other person to walk the journey of life with you than me. I want to go Grey with you. Walk down the beach with a stick in hand, watching the young lovers while we reminisce. I know we will have times that doubts and fear will come in like we are experiencing now. We will have one misunderstanding or the other but my love for you will never go dim. Love you.

The End!

So valour, that was the write up I drafted and planned on sending to her the next morning. I wanted to send it in the mid-night but I was served breakfast at night. I checked her status and there it was-  a video of a guy kissing her. She captioned it with so many love emojis. I couldn’t sleep that night. I had a problem breathing. I wept like a baby and it was as if my world has tumbled. Today I womanize and do so many things I wasn’t doing before due to that breakfast.

Guess the most painful part Valour. I try to hate her but I can’t, the last time I saw her, I felt exactly the same way I felt the first time I saw her. She has moved on with so many other guys but my heart hasn’t moved away from her. She’s my greatest weakness. I kept my letter to her secret for years and anytime I read it, it reminds me of the most painful breakfast ever.

Thanks for Reading! 💔💚😭

The term "breakfast" is commonly used here in Nigeria to replace the word "heartbreak". Once someone says he/she has been served breakfast,
it means someone jilted them.

I thought I won’t be able to publish an article today, and my “An article a day streak will be broken” but while complaining about it, a friend offered to give me a write up he wrote many years ago to his ex. And asked me to publish. All earnings from the article will go to him (Subtracting the amount spent on tipping comments and the mandatory percentage that goes to the site). Thanks for the help and I hope someday you will give writing on readcash a chance.

11:56pm | 18-11-21