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A problem shared is still your problem

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Avatar for HappyBoy
Written by   536
4 months ago

The title might look contradictory to the popular saying "A problem shared is a problem half solved". It isn't a mistake or a disguise. It's a statement uttered by my sister after we both heard a statement from a woman.

Since I'm going to school very soon. I decided to go to the market with my sister to get some stuff to take along. I converted part of my BCH into fiat to buy some stuff because I couldn't find any store selling what I desire that is accepting BCH and needed to get them urgently. This caused an argument between my friend and high. That's a story for another, though my friends on noisecash know this already.

Screenshot from WhatsApp

Okay, back to the event that prompted today's piece. While we were in the queue waiting for our turn to withdraw from the ATM a woman was standing close by and was on a call. We didn't mean to eavesdrop but she was so loud that there was no need trying to hear what she's saying. She was speaking Yoruba (a Nigerian dialect) and was agitated with the person at the end of the call.

I was trying to add two and two together, to know who she was talking to and what could be the reason for her annoyance. I didn't have to think too much because she shouted out loud-

"Alai loju ti ni e, ooni eni tole fun e ni ten thousand naira" (you're so shameless, you don't have any contact that can give you ten thousand naira)

She said this and cut the call. I took in the words and assumed that she was speaking to her son. I pitied the son and I can say I understand the woman's anger and also the child's situation. Believe me when I tell you that Ten thousand naira ($20) is a big deal for many in the country. This is even the take-home salary of many, most especially teachers in private schools.

A problem shared...

I asked my sister a question. "If you need N10,000 do you have friends that can offer to help" and she smiled. She then went on to talk about how everyone has their problem. Though if you're indeed a good friend, your friends will be willing to help you with any amount.Even as small as $20.

However, she added that even if you are nice and good, you help your friends when they are in need, don't expect them to return the favour when it's your turn. Gone are the days when a problem shared is a problem half solved. Now when you share your problem get ready to hear the other person's problem. It's now like a "who suffers the more competition".

Tell your friend "I haven't eaten since morning "

His reply will be "yours is better. I haven't eaten since yesterday and my children..."

By the time he is done sharing his problem, you will be tired and might even offer to help him. But there are a few exceptions.

No good friends out there?

There are good friends still. Some friends are ready to go to any extent to support their friends. Not only when it's financial needs but offer moral supports too. Even if they don't have with them, they surely have nice words to say to make the burden easier. It all depends on the kind of friends you surround yourself with.

Most people after having making it big neglect their old friends but when they need help they go running back to them. Old friends are like fine wine. Never let a change in status or financial breakthrough make you forsake your friends, they might be the angel you need someday.

Everyone is having it tough in the country, so be considerate with your request. And even after sharing your problems with friends, know that it is still your problem. They can only help if they so desire. Don't be offended if they don't.

So I'm going to ask you the same question. Do you have friends you can lean on in the days of trouble?

Thanks for reading!🤗💚🤗

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Written by   536
4 months ago
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Comments

I agree with this. There has been a cuture of competing who's had it harder now. Hahaha! As for me, I have a friend I can realy on in tough days. I have God. He never lets me down. He never did.

$ 0.00
4 months ago

A friend that can help during trying times is a friend indeed. I had so many of these fake friends back in school but now, I'm the one helping.

$ 0.00
4 months ago

I have few friends I can depend on anyday any time.And I know the fake ones too.

$ 0.00
4 months ago

Well! In my case I don’t want to share my problems with anyone even with my close ones. But I need those one who can actually understand my problem and felt my problem by own. Btw, I do believe in the statement that sharing problem means a half problem solved because I had experienced this many times I know your problems remain same but at-leat by sharing to other you feel some-how relaxed and feel yourself motivated. Thank you.

$ 0.03
4 months ago

Yes i agree with you. The title was meant to show that with the situation in the country presently. Getting help from people is hard though we still have good friends out there that are willing to help.

By the way, thanks for the sponsorship🙏

$ 0.00
4 months ago

Indeed. Thanks to you for approving.

$ 0.00
4 months ago

Lol, you're definitely right about the part where you said "yours is better. I haven't eaten since yesterday and my children...". It's typical with most Nigerians as suffering is now seen as a competition; a competition to see who garners the most sympathy. Of course there are people that are telling the truth with that statement, but most times it's just a smokescreen to prevent you from asking them for help A.K.A werey dey disguise 😅

$ 0.03
4 months ago

Exactly!😂 i didn't know you're Nigerian too.

$ 0.00
4 months ago

We many here but some of us dey disguise 😂

$ 0.00
4 months ago

Why this topic is for me? lol you know in my past article is about me and my family and we have the same situation as what you ask to your sister and your sister is right not because we helped them, we can be sure that when we are in needs they will help you too. 🤧 Sometimes, other people when they help at first they are willingly give but at the end when they urge when you did not help them they will rant this and that and even call what they did help you lol.

$ 0.03
4 months ago

Yes that's true.😀 I remember your article about your family. It just so painful to see the way people act in the world we are in today.

$ 0.00
4 months ago

Your sister is so right man because you help your friends in time of need doesn't guarantee you that they will help you back when you need them too

I am speaking from experience

$ 0.03
4 months ago

This is a deep question you have asked. I have friends I can run to but then, I don't like to bother them with my problem, I am someone who doesn't like to bother people but if they ask me if I have I will but if I don't have then i can't. Most time I feel bad if I am not able to help someone when I don't have because it pains me a lot of am not able to.

$ 0.03
4 months ago

I want us to know that good friends will help you in time of need if they can, sometimes they might even promise to help you but situations can turn around, the unexpected can happen and then they helplessly disappoint you. Don't feel bad about that neither should you change your mindset about them. They are still loyal trust me, it's just that we all have our own personal responsibilities.

$ 0.03
4 months ago

Here at home my friend is still my son. We both have our monthly salaries, but we support each other when we need each other. I have friends who support me on the moral side, when I am in low spirits. Financially it is difficult to receive support, because we are all with economic problems. and I understand that, I don't get upset if I ask for help and I don't get it. Food for thought, interesting article. Thank you.

$ 0.03
4 months ago

Good article great information shared with friends about problem solving. My opinion is that own problems shared just a special and honest friends those which care u as a brother. Otherwise not share other friends because they not solve problems but laugh your condition and enjoy your situation. that's why you should solve problems own... again thanks shared your thoughts

$ 0.00
4 months ago

Hmmm. I do not usually share my problems with someone since I think I could handle them on my own. I just share them when things turned into something more complicated that will need more advices & ideas.

$ 0.03
4 months ago

I have no one actually, in personal. But I have a virtual Friends thay I think is ready to lend a hand if I ask to. And off course I'll the same to them. But if it's something personal, I think I will just solve it alone and just ask for their advice and all.

$ 0.03
4 months ago

Yeah, I have a lot of friends I could ask when I'm in need. But I don't bother them with my problem because I know they might have one or two problems too

$ 0.03
4 months ago

Hummn. Your topic got me wondering Hehehehe.

But after the read I realized that there is fact to the topic. Hehehe. Nowadays a problem shared should get a solution to by yourself.

Such is the life we found ourselves in our country. Even if you are lost on the way to ask for directions is kinda hard not to talk of money.

God help us all

$ 0.03
4 months ago

I have a friend's that I can share my problems too. They are the people who I'm comfortable with. Sometimes you need to talk anyone with our worries since I love advices too, it really a big help for me and to lessen the pain I have. But mostly I don't share my problems. I don't want to give them a worries especially when they are in pain too.

Have a nice day HappyBoy..❤️

$ 0.03
4 months ago

That's why I don't tell people what I go through because its still my problem even when I tell you so let me carry my problem and you too carry yours in peace. Someone once accused me that my ways of life can't be predicted because I don't talk to people If I need something, that I is not good and I told her if I share with her what will she do and then she became dumbfounded

$ 0.03
4 months ago

I sometimes wonder too. If i tell you, what will you do to change the situation?

$ 0.00
4 months ago

In my case with my friends, we help each other. Whoever needs, the one who could offer help will just volunteer, that's why I never hesitate to help my friends when they're in need. They're always kind and generous to me, so even it's just a little help that I can offer, I will still help them.

$ 0.03
4 months ago

That's true friendship.👍💚

$ 0.00
4 months ago

It's a waste of time and energy trying to share your problem with friends, it's better they ask you how you are doing before telling them. If no one cares about your well-being none will care about trouble-being.

$ 0.03
4 months ago

I am happy I have friends but when I need them, they're nowhere to be found. Well there are others who help but not totally. And that's fine. They have their problems too so I should not depend on them to solve mine.

$ 0.03
4 months ago

yeah I have those friends. But not really like they will do anything for me. They are just good friends and we have a good communication with each other. But this is very important to make atleast 1 friend who will be at your side whatever happens.

$ 0.03
4 months ago

My real friends are willing to help me in times of difficulty.. When I eloped from home, one of my friends offered me her roof where I can stay in... I'm also someone willing to offer help even to a stranger...I shared this with Farmgirl already.. I pawned my jewelry just to help my co-applicant to have his medical as a requirement for employment. I barely know the guy but I pitied his situation.

$ 0.04
4 months ago

Wow! Not trying to flatter you ma'am. But people like you are rare to find. Helping a friend is one thing(which is also rare nowadays), and helping someone you know little about is another thing(almost impossible in the world we are in now)

$ 0.00
4 months ago

I don't actually know why I did that.. Maybe I just have a soft heart for those people who are trying their best to lift their lives from being stuck in the mud.. And who really needs help badly.. I can be thrifty sometimes.. Especially to my spoiled siblings. But helping others has been my thing since young.. . I don't want to brag, I'm just being real, 😅

$ 0.03
4 months ago

Life is full of fake friends here and there, they mostly listen to your problems so they can laugh at you.. plus we've all got problems of our own so a problem shared may not he half solved. It will always remain your problem.

$ 0.03
4 months ago

Exactly! We have to know who are true friends are

$ 0.00
4 months ago

I'm grateful i have friends which can help me if need be,we just need friends to back us up when we want to fall and speak some kind words to us,not friends that would leave us when we have no money again

$ 0.03
4 months ago

I'm grateful I have few friends I can lean to however that doesn't make me complacent to the situation and dependent on them. As much as I can, I try to solve the problem and help myself

$ 0.03
4 months ago

The situation of things in the country has made people who love to look like they are stingy and it is that way. How would you expect someone who hasn't eaten to feed you?

Hardship has given rise to many of these things and I hope things get better and aside from the money issue, I think there are other things we can help people with so a problem shared can still be a problem solved.

$ 0.03
4 months ago

Exactly! Things are hard. I don't blame people that don't offer to help. Some it's because they don't have.

$ 0.00
4 months ago

I'm glad to say that I do True, sometimes when you tell a friend your problem, it is not to get a solution but just to get someone who wants to hear your side of the story. I also believe that instead of giving man a fish, teach them how to fish for themselves.

$ 0.03
4 months ago

I'm sharing my problem to I know who's actually sincere and always at my side no matter what. For example my family and my partner. But most of the time I keep all the problem because I don't want them to problematize my problem too. I pitied that son too, I just have no words for her mother

$ 0.03
4 months ago

True. I'm not into sharing my problems with friends tho I know they will help. It's just that I know it's still my problem so I should be the one to solve it.

$ 0.03
4 months ago

I like the thought of if you help someone do not expect them to help you when you are in need. This is the true sense of generosity, helping for the sake of God. A problem shared with the right people seems to be a relief and a lot of clarity can be gained.

$ 0.03
4 months ago

I have friends that treat my problem as them. They will do everything to lend me a hand or will ask someone for advise on how to help me. But I do not always depend on them. I want to solve my problem first and then if I can't then that's the start of 911.(911 is the term for emergency call a friend).

$ 0.03
4 months ago

Please hold on to those friends tightly. They are rare

$ 0.00
4 months ago

Times have changed sadly.. in olden days when you share a problem, people used to gather like bees around honey to help each other out but now a days it has become worst that if you share your issues, people are glad to know you have such issues...

$ 0.03
4 months ago

That's it. When you share your burden now , they take as a new Gossip topic instead of helping

$ 0.00
4 months ago

seriously very true.. that is why people do not share things easily and when they do, they are asked "this happened months ago, why you sharing now?? you are trying to get attention"...It is like, there is no winning

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4 months ago