Sometimes, I really miss being employed. I miss working. I miss earning my own money. I miss spoiling myself with my want's. I miss those days where I can window shop whenever I felt to. Yeah, when I felt bored I go out to window shop and if I found something that I like I will buy😂. I miss my old life. I miss being financially independent. I miss everything about being single lol. But of course it doesn't mean I regretted of becoming a mother. It's just sometimes I felt that way 😅.

Well, no one can blame me for missing those days since a lot of things had change since I stop working. I one's spoil myself too.

It's been two years, perhaps more than two years to be exact since I stop working . Well I earn from here but as you know, my priority is not myself anymore. So the last time that I go shopping for myself is 2019, it's been awhile and I was still in Hong Kong that time.

I started missing buying new stuff for myself 😃. Well just recently I bought new pajamas for me. Lol. That's all I can afford for now. Maybe if I am just selfish, I already have brought myself a lot of things, like new phone, new powerbank and new clothes as well. But my happiness is more on my sons happiness right now. I mean, whenever I have money from my own earnings all I want is to buy things that my son wants and needs. Seeing him happy makes me happy and I can literally disregard my want's in just one blink just to see him happy. That's how selfless I am, I can say.

I don't know, sometimes I feel sad for myself. I mean I am happy to make my love ones happy, but I don't know there's a sadness inside me that for somehow I don't understand. Like, I am just sad. How I wish someone will also gonna remember me. Like someone will gonna ask me what I want and I what I need then he will buy me those things to make me happy. Hahahaha but I think it will only gonna happen in my dream.

Although my partner had already told me that he will buy me a new phone on my birthday I still can't guarantee that he will, because he had have lot's of plan's. I think he even forgot about my phone😂. But it's okay, it's not part of his responsibility. So if I wanna spoil my self again, I guess I should go back to work. Lol.

Anyways, honestly I don't know what's this drama for. It's too early hahaha, actually I just wanna buy a new phone because my phone is already broken. Sometimes I feel shy using my phone outside because the broken parts are literally visible. But knowing that I don't have money makes me feel this way. Lol. Money can really buy our happiness 😜.

How I wish I can won a lottery so I can buy new phone right now. Hahaha but how would it possible since I don't play lottery 🤣. But if ever I got money I will surely buy the phone that I've been wanting to. I'm a Xiaomi fan so I wanna buy an upgraded one.

Anyways, this is all for today. I'm sorry for my early nonsensicality rants. I just can't help not to feel sad after seeing how bad my phone right now, but of course I won't let see it 😂😂.

Closing words

Today is Sunday. Suppose it's a church day as well but since my son is hyper and his a little stubborn, I can't bring him to the church because for sure he would only make a scene. So I would only pray and thank God for this new day at home. For those who will attend church, please take care and may God bless you .

Lead image is my own photo.