I wanna be a nurse

Back when I was just twelve(12) year's old, I had this dream to become a nurse someday. Yes, I wanna be a nurse and it was because during that time I have a sick mother. If you could still remember I have shared with you how my life goes at that age. It was hard and challenging, but thanks God we survived.

I wanna be a nurse because I wanna be the one who's gonna give care to my mom whenever she gets sick. (A kid's mindset of mine) I don't like the feeling that I can't do it to her. I am not a nurse those times that I felt she needed me the most and so I develop this dream of mine. I wanna be the one who's gonna check upon her from time to time.

However as I grow older I realized and I learned, that to be able to give some care, you don't need to be a nurse nor a care giver. You can do it even if you weren't a nurse. You can check your sick love ones and give care of them for all the time, there's no limit. But then I also realized that being a nurse is not an easy job. I was scared of blood, and that was because of my traumatic experience when my mom got sick. I was also scared of needles, and so I felt that I can't stand to be a nurse someday, and so I decided to forget about that dream and trash it into the bin.

I don't wanna be a nurse anymore, but I still love to take care my mother☺️.

I wanna be a stewardess.

Since then I always love watching the blue sky, and everytime I saw an airplane I always wonder how would it feel like to be inside that flying thing. I still haven't tried to fly with the plane and so I also wonder how would it feels like seeing the beautiful clouds out from the window of that plane. Imagining it and making it possible in my dreams was so exciting . I got a dream to travel the world, but I always felt hopeless as I know we don't have money. Traveling needs money, so I think if I become a stewardess or what they called hostess in other term I can make that dream possible. (What a thought 🤣)

So then I wanna be a stewardess so I can travel the world and fly for free. I was so good in day dreaming, and dreaming that I am already a stewardess makes me happy and excited to become an adult. I really thought life was just an easy peasy in adulthood, but nah. Never mind.😅

However one person hear my thoughts, and the person literally force me to get back to my senses. The person says that I should be pretty and tall so I can be a hostess one day. I was really annoyed after hearing what she says, as I know I wasn't beautiful 😂.

Where the he** I am when God showered the world with beauties, and why didn't I catch any amount of it? I asked myself, smiling bitterly while looking at the mirror. Chaaarrr

So yeah I am not beautiful outside, but I think (just a guess 😂) I am pretty inside and that was my soul makes me pretty. My soul was transparent, so it's pretty like a ghost. Lol.

What am I saying? 🤣🤔🤣

Another thing that broke my heart for that dream was my bonsai height.

Oh please why am I too small? I followed my great grandparents beliefs, but then I still didn't get any taller 🤣.

You know? I know you don't know so let me tell you about that belief😁.

When I was a little kid my parent's used to tell me to jump every New Years Eve so I can be tall, and so I did. Actually and I swear ( no cheating) I didn't miss any New Year's Eve without jumping. Hahahahaha what a fool.

And you know what? I even climbed our rooftop and jump from there so I can be as tall as the coconut tree, but I only got the height of a bonsai tree? Oh my God!😭 Where did I go wrong? Where's the justice?🤣

And because of my bonsai height for sure I had no any amount of chances to be a stewardess in the future, so then I just accepted the facts that my dream is only a dream.

So eventually I also throw that dream in to the bin and forgot about it as well. I feel pity for myself as I couldn't have a chance to fly and travel the world for free. Free is life, we all know that. 🤣

Then last but not actually the least, no it suppose to be the last? I don't know.🙈

I wanna be a radio DJ.

Music becomes my comfort zone during those devastating stage of mine, and by listening music I started to love those DJ's that I always hear from the radio. Back then radio DJ's are famous. Well I think up until now, but I have already stop listening FM radio's so I wasn't sure. I become a huge fan of Spotify and YouTube music so it's been awhile since the last time I listened to a DJ.

However back then I have already meet DJ's in our local town and I have already get a chance to watch them while operating some music inside their boot and I found it so interesting. Because of it I develop a new dream. I wanna be a DJ. Yeah! I wanna be a bee. Hahahaha kidding🤣🤣.

I wanna be a DJ as I love music so much. I found that job so entertaining as well. I feel alive with music. However I didn't know that to become a successful DJ behind those music boots, you needed to be a jolly person. You need to have a good sense of humour. You need to be talkative with sense, so you can entertain your listeners and they won't find you crazy laughing at your own old school jokes. If you don't have that important qualities and characteristics, stop fooling your self, your listeners will get bored and turn off the radio while your on air. 🤣🤣🤣

For God sake, I don't have those characteristics! I was a boring person, and I can't even entertain myself, how much more if I had a listener 😂. Maybe if I pursue that dream, a day will come that my listener's will do a rally outside the radio station to fire me😂. That was a scary thoughts, and gets me scared to be a DJ.

So then just like the other two, I throw that dream in to the bin as well. That imagination was terrible so I don't wanna be a DJ anymore 😂.

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And that's how my bin gets filled with my failed dreams, how about you? What are your thoughts? I mean what are your failed dreams?

Let me hear you.

....thank you for reading and remember that this blog is just for entertainment only. Nothing more and nothing less. I wish you had a great time.

Lead image was edited using Canva.