God, What Did I Do To Deserve All These Things In Life?

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Avatar for Eybyoung
2 years ago
Topics: Stress, Problems

I know asking God for my bad situation isn't right, but I just want to ask questions what did I do to deserve all the shits I have this life? Am I not deserving to have a father? Am I not deserving to have a loving mother? Am I not deserving to grow in a complete and healthy family?

Since I was young, I was obedient. I am even scared to talk back to anyone because I thought I have to be a good girl so people will treat me better, but I was wrong the more obedient and soft I become the more people keep torturing me, to take advantage of my innocence and weakness. That's when I learn to fight for myself coz no one will do it for me.

Just because my father is a married man and got an affair with my mom, they had me from a mortal sin, I was going to pay all the karma for them? Why? I'm innocent, I didn't choose this path. Why I have to bear the punishment of the things I didn't do, why?

I grow up in an environment with people not accepting me because they saw me as a result of mistake. Even my own mother, she tortured me a lot when I was young not just physically but emotional and mentally. The scars that I got from her beating fade away, but the scars she made from torturing me mentally and emotionally are forever engraved in my heart. Nothing can erase and conceal it.

This is why I'm asking what did I do to deserve all these shits in life? I can bear being a fatherless child, it was a tough battle but having a mother that hates you for who you are is even worse! 😭

“Anak ka sa yawa! Liwat ka sa imong papa yawa! Ikaw ang nagdalag dimalas sa akong kinabuhi. Ikaw ang hinungdan nagka litsi litsi akong kinabuhi. Wala kay pulos aning kalibutana! Salot ka!” that's what she always tell me before even if I didn't do anything or if I didn't take care of her other children well way back. I was young, I need care too but she didn't give me any of that. Imagine how painful it is receiving all those words from your own mother. She raised me physically but she's killing my soul.

She made me feel that being born and alive in this world is my debt to her, and that I deserve whatever she does to me.

I thought we're fine, I thought we reconciled, I thought she have change. Some people will tell me, she's your mother. You must understand her, I tried. But have they thought about me? Have they ask, how it is to be me? How I was when she was torturing me. She was supposed to be my ally, because I have no one in this world only her as my father abandoned me..but she was the biggest influenced of how my soul tore into pieces.

A fatherless child and a mother not accepting her own child is painful, how much more when she keeps all the blame to the child for all her misfortune, it's MEGAKILL!

When a child didn't receive any love from home, she can never receive it anywhere either as all things starts from home. Just imagine how much I suffered outside from “home” endless bullying, sexual harassment and disrespect.

Nobody knows that because nobody is there for me way back, I didn't tell my mother either, she wishes me to die anyway, why would she care when I experience all of those? Imagine I fought all of those ALONE! overcome all the trauma's and nightmare alone!

When I was an infant, mother drunk a pesticide to commit suicide causing me to breastfeed on my step grandma. She didn't die, as she was brought into hospital right away. She committed suicide because she can't accept having me. Just imagine how selfish she is, wishing to die leaving an innocent infant that needs a mother.

This isn't a biased story, there are a lot of stuff she did I can't write anymore or else I might turn this one into a book.

Yesterday we had an argument, I burst out everything. All the stuff she didn't know, my sufferings and etc. But you know what, she didn't care. All she said,

“Despite that I'm a bad mother, you should not treat me like that. You should not scold me or reprimand me, coz I am your MOTHER!”

See, playing the card of DEBT. In fact, I didn't even wish to exist in this world. If I can flip the time, I would never choose to live coz I have seen how worst the path I've taken just to deserve this “existence.”

I just asked her what's her problem in DM because she keeps posting as if nobody of her children cares for her. Then she replied very ill to me, and blabber all the stuff and keep repeating “I have change because I already have money.” Like, I should stop because money will be gone but good character remains, coming from who? To person who never showed me how to have a good character.

I always wrote before “don't judge my mother” I'll still, tell you this.. don't judge her, I just wrote this.. at least anyone of you knows my side of the story. That if I asked “if I untangle my connection to my blood related for my mental health sake's, is it good or bad?”

This is why married men should think twice impregnating other woman, they should think about the child's fate, not unless they'll acknowledge them like Billionaires dad's did, like Elon Musk LOL.

Sorry, I'm just too emotional since last night. This is why I'm asking, God, what did I do to deserve all of these?

Behind this strong and bullet proof woman is a soul that was badly broken. Until now, I'm still battling all the after shocks mentally. It's a battle I'm gonna fight until lifetime.

Lead Image: Milada Vigerova (Unsplash)

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Avatar for Eybyoung
2 years ago
Topics: Stress, Problems

Comments

So sad, you had to go through all this alone, but in all these, you are more than victorious . that is what the bible told us. Tough time comes and goes but you will always survive it...

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2 years ago

Ang part na balikason, always ko kadawat ana. Kanang palayason ug uban pa. Bunalan ug ayo to the point na naay bun-og, gakiang2, nagkasamad2. Grabe lang jud modisiplina ako mama. Pero kanang moinom.ug insecticide kay wala kauyon na naa ka tapos balikason ka pagdako, murag lahi najud na.

Despite sa imu kaagi, blessed japon ka. Isa na ana kay ang gift of life and until now surviving japon ka. Naa pakay chance para makuha ang genuine happiness. Di man nato jud mahibawan ang plano ni Lord, pero later on makaingom rajud ta na ang mga problema na iya ginahatag kay para mahimu tang strong. If we pray for strength, He will give us problems para makagain tag strength. If we pray for confidence, tagaan ta niyag something para machallenge ta nga makaahat tag paconfident2. Fake it until we make it lugar.

I once was a crying baby during my college days until nagkawork ko because of family problem. Almost nagbulag ako parents, but slowly, naanam na nako kadawat na dili mabalik ang sauna. Naabot ko sa point gihate nako ako papa kay as the eldest, siya ako first love. But atong gilet go na nako tanan kasakit, naaccept unsa ang naa, naokay na ako pamati. Hopefully, malet go nimu ang hatred and slowly maforgive nimu imu mama. It's a long and difficult path to take, pero maabot rajud na. Okay ra ang mohilak or unsa ba, basta ipabilin ang salig kay Lord, and kadasig para malet go nimu tanan.

Praying for your healing and genuine happiness. 🙏

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2 years ago

Salamat, yes na forgive naman unta naku sya pero tanan naku ginabuhat kay di pa man gyapon enough para nya ako pa dautan. Pero enough na uy, bahala sya.. gusto kug peace of mind, ug di sya naku di na naku ipugos akong kaugalingon. Ma pride lang gyud kaayo sya.

Lisud makig kauban sa taong close minded as in, kay ug imo ma storyahan mo ingun ako na lang sya ga yano yanohon kay kwartahan naku, asa kaha kwarta aning dapita lol.

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2 years ago

I am truly sorry. I am a mother too, like your mother but I cannot fully understand. But I'd rather think it this way, her hatred over time has piled up. I cannot soothe your feelings but I wish to open another opportunity. Do not be guilty if you choose to fight back, but you can only choose not to however, fighting back will only not do you any good. Perhaps its better if you just walk away and support your mother instead. Go somewhere else where you can have a peace of mind, start over again. That way, you can slowly find yourself and heal, it takes a long time but at least you can in a way. Don't show the worst of you, it wont do you anything good just continue the good you show. People knows but I know it is hard sometimes but the truth is, it doesn't give you a peace of mind if you fight. You are plainly good inside and changing it, well, your choice. Find time to make a resolution so you can find you way home! Or build another home.

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2 years ago

Thanks, for now maybe I'll have to distance myself for healings. Thank for your time and enlightenment, I appreciate it.

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2 years ago

The answer is, God is with you. He is walking with you. God never promised everything to go well in your life. Open up to Him daily in the words of the Bible, let him in to your heart, and you'll see.
It does sound to me like you're dealing with some very narcissistic individuals in your life, as I have. This web site has links to publications that really helped me, written by Renee Pitelli. https://luke173ministries.org/ There are also a couple books I would recommend, they helped me very much: https://www.boundariesbooks.com/products/boundaries-updated-expanded-edition https://www.kobo.com/us/en/audiobook/the-first-will-be-last

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2 years ago

grabe jud kaayo sad imong mama madam oi...kanang okay ra man nga babaan ka nga tawo pero kung engun anang balikason unya basulon ka...grabe nakahilak ko sa iyang gihimo madam ay

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2 years ago

Grabi madam noh, unya siya akong ma storyahan karon mura na jud naku syag gi daug daug. Nag ingun pa nga ga dumot daw ko nya, kung nagdumot pa ko di na lang unta ko mag huna huna nya ug motabang nya. Kabalo jud mo madam unsa ko kalipay nga nahimuan syag gamayng tindahan pero in the end ako pa ang dautan, nga hilas na kaayo ko kay kwartahan naku.. di daw ko palabi kay ang kwarta mahurot grabi dulot sa akong kalag ang kasakit maong tibook adlaw ko naghilaka, nga ako pa nahimong dautan after all sa iyang gipang buhat naku 😭

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2 years ago

engun ana ang mga tawo nga di kamao ma kuntento madam ug di sad kamao magpasalamat...kay lage anak so need mo bawos sa ginikanan pero unta dili lang siya mag engun ana kay nanignuha man sad ka nga makatabang sa iyaha

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2 years ago

Maojud madam, gaka sense man gud naku pag mo ingun ko mag tipid naku kay naa naku kaugalingon pamilya di ko forever maka support na sa inyo.. unya upcoming among kasal murag gakalain sya. Wala gani sya paki dghan kaayo tao nag adtos balay pag abot sa ako bana, dako amo nagasto imbis magtipid.. kay nag sige pang invite apil ako mga manghud. Okay raman jud unta mugasto musabot lang sad unta nga mao pa pagsugod sa career sa ako bana ug ubos pud kaayo ang crypto mao di ta basta basta maka cash out ug kwarta. Mo ingun na dayon sya gapa moyboy daw ko, paita.

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2 years ago

para nako madam no suwerte na jud unta kaayo imong mama kay bisan gi unsa iya pag trato sa imo sauna naa gihapon ka ug andam mo tabang...wa niya nakita imong effort madam..

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2 years ago

Sorry about this ma'am eybyoung. Parang di ko maimagine yung naramdaman mo ma'am eybyoung habang pinagsalitaan ka ng ganun ng mom mo ma'am. 🥺 Always be strong ma'am eybyoung. I know merong mga brighter days for you and God is always there for you also.

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2 years ago

Grabi talaga, pag naalala ko yung younger me talagang napapaiyak ako. I'm just so thankful of the younger me who didn't give up despite the harsh treatment she's been through. Yung feeling na wala kang malapitan, feeling na nag-iisa ka lang, glad the younger self survive it.

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2 years ago

One day you will win the war. This is not a battle dear friend, it is definitely a war. Such a inhumane behaviour you have get from your childhood. This is an explicit violation of human rights. We all have birth right to bringing up in a healthy environment.

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2 years ago

Thank you, yeah indeed we have human rights but somehow she's trying to take it away from me too

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2 years ago

Keep strong po sa inyo. Lakasan nyo po palagi ang loob nyo. Sabi nyo nga po wag pa rin ijudge ang mother nyo despite of what happened pero masasabi ko po na bakit ganun naman po ang mother nyo. Pero keep going lang po at yung mga sakit na nararamdaman nyo po ay mapapalitan din po yan ng saya someday.

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2 years ago

Iwan ko nga bakit sya ganyan sakin, hayaan ko na lang muna.. mag focus na lang ako sa own family ko for now. Salamat.

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2 years ago

Opo yung intindihin at iprioritize nyo na lang po ay yung anak nyo at family nyo po.

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2 years ago

Your mom must have some unresolved issues before madam that's why she behaves that way but it's not a justifiable reason to blame everything on you oy. Di jud tawon nimo sala nga ni exist ka sa world madam. You didn't choose to be here in the first place.

Kung ana man galing, malabo jud nga mg reconcile mo sa imong mama although naa gud gyapon koy hope as long as we're still alive pero for now, focus lang sa sa imong sarili madam oy. Focus on what's now and the future for building your own family. Nurture your kid with love and unending support. Diha ibuhos tanan kuwang nga na feel nimo sa imong mama.

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2 years ago

Yes madam, murag malabo najud.. I have to restructure my plans and focus na lang gyud sa akong own family ug sa akong anak, it pains me to do that but I have to do it so I can be mentally well for my daughter.

Magdistansya na lang sa gyud ko madam, kay di na naku makaya after how many years wa lang gyud gyapon me magkasinabot. I really thought it's a new start for us pero it seems so impossible right now.

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2 years ago

Hmmmm this is sad but we are not in position to judge our mothers for their bad attitude towards us I just wish you guys peace so that you can get along with each other because I can feel your pain from the day you were born it is not easy And I pray God change her mind towards you because you are not to be blame for coming into the world.

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2 years ago

You are a fighter and a wonderful mother, a good soul and a role model for many here. You should focus on the future and at least try to forget if not forgive what happened in the past! Stay strong and stay being you!

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2 years ago

Thanks, PVM from now on.. I'll focus on building my own family, forget the past and don't hope so much. We had a fight with mother yesterday, turning this things sourer..

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2 years ago

So much shit happening around us that we cannot lose our focus. The most important step is the next step. Just build a better future for yourself and your family 👪

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2 years ago

I saw it yesterday when you post in noise.cash. I know you are stronger this time around. But no matter how strong we are we need to pour out the feelings that drain us. I am glad you made this article so you will feel a bit lighten despite the situation you are in. Just write when things feels heavy..it really helps. We are here not to judge you but to support you. I wish things will be smooth then before the wedding. Cheer up Eybyoung.🙂

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2 years ago

Thank you so much, yeah I just need to release all of the heavy feelings once and for all, so I can move forward.

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2 years ago

Napaka bigat naman pala ng dinanas mo, ang sakit ng mga Salita ng mama mo sayo.Lahat naman NG Yan ay may pinagmulan,syempre dapat ang pagbabago magsisimula sa sarili nya, na patawarin na nya ang sarili nya at Pati na ang papa mo.

In your part naman, kahit na Ganon, Sana wag mong isipin na wala Kang halaga kagayang sabi ng mama mo, nag exist ka kasi may purpose si Lord, and this experience of your life, can be a great lesson to everyone. Isa Kang matibay na babae sapagkat na encounter mo ito, hindi basta basta ang battle mo pala.Be strong for your family, and your daughter. I hope you can find peace in your heart, God can hear your prayer, just keep talking to him.

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2 years ago

Kaya nga, she expects me to be good but she didn't even try harder to forgive herself and be good either.. anyway I've decided things, and hopefully this issues won't affect me much in the future. Thank you for enlightenment.

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2 years ago

Cguro nga time to move ka na madam from them para makahanap ka din ng peace of mind, total may sari sari store na naman sya for her daily needs na binigay mo, malay natin soon marealize nya din mga mali nya

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2 years ago

Siguro nga madam tama ka, alam mo di nya na appreciate yun at pag sinabihan ko sya kasi iba nga talaga way of thinking nya.. sabi nya ang pangit na nang ugali ko kasi may pera na daw ako at nagtatanim daw talaga ako nang galit sa kanya, imagine.. kung may galit ako di sana di na ako nakipag usap sa kanya. 🤦At di ko na sya tinulungan. Ang sakit nya magsalita grabi tagos kaluluwa.

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2 years ago

Sending you a virtual hug sis..nakakalungkot habang binabasa ko..I can say that I'm still lucky inspite of having a broken family..but as what you said I don't judge your Mom..marahil ayay mga bagay lang talaga na nagpapabigat din sa dibdib nya all this time..and I believe na kahit ganyan Yung mangyayari she still loves you at Hindi nya lng Yun maiparamdam Sayo ng buo dahil na Rin sa mga pinagdaanan nya..still hoping and praying na maging maayos Ang lahat sa Inyo ni Mommy mo..and Ruffa was right then better focus lang Muna sa own family mo Lalo na Kay bhebhe girl.. 😘

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2 years ago

Iwan ko sis, I'm not convinced na mahal nya ako.. parang mga kapatid ko lang mahal nya eh, based lang sa reactions and reply nya sa convo namin. Pero hahayaa ko na lang, kaya ko naman na sarili ko. Ipagdasal ko na lang na balang araw matutupad nya ang kanyang gusto para sa mga anak nya..

Kasi sya na mismo nagsabi “wag mo na kaming tulungan, focus ka na lang sa anak mo, baka ikasama pa nang loob mo pag gumastos ka samin” grabi yung pride nya, saludo ako. Pagod na rin naman ako. Haaay bahala na

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2 years ago

May mga nanay talagang ganyan sis..Lalo pag may pinagdaanan na Hindi maganda..Ang pagkakamali lang nila is ibunubunton nila Yung Galit nila sa anak nila..I know deep inside mahal ka din nya..dahil walang inang Hindi Mahal Ang anak nila..Yung pride lang talaga nya Yung umaatake sa kanya..hoping na marealize din nya lahat ng pagkakamali ay pagkukulang nya sayo biglang Ina. 🙂

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2 years ago

I am sorry to hear about this sis. Problema sa mga older generation talaga yang ganyan. They think respect by blood is automatic na. Tapos they'll only value or be nice to you once you can provide yung needs nila, once they think na you can be responsible for their lives too. Syempre morally, hindi mo pa dn maiiwasan magalala para sa kanila kahit masakit na. This just proves na you're a good person. Pero be good to youself too.

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2 years ago

Exactly, this speaks a lot to my situation. Sabi nga nang partner ko, na tinatrato lang akong maayos kasi may pakinabang pag wala, wala rin akong silbi sa paningin nila

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2 years ago

Letting your emotions out is so important. I'm so sorry for what you have been through and what you are going through. The only thing I can say is remember the mistakes that were made when she was raising you and never repeat them 🌺 the other thing is you are a beautiful human being, inside and out. You have an incredible heart and you deserve love and tenderness. If people do not appreciate you, it does not matter if they are family or not - staying in toxic relationships with anyone is bad and you deserve to be loved, appreciated and cherished. Sending you loads of hugs 🌻

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2 years ago

Yes, I will remember her mistakes and never do it again. I don't want my child to suffer badly like me. Thank you for enlightenment. ❤️

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2 years ago

This never happened before, but I started a reply to your article, and somehow it grew and grew and suddenly it became to much for a reply.

https://read.cash/@AnonSunamun/eybyoung-you-did-nothing-to-deserve-it-nor-should-you-be-there-to-deserve-anything-ad66b909

That didn't hold me back though. I made it into an article. I hope you'll be able to resolve this, and get past this soon! I'm so sorry for your suffering. Wish i could do more to help.

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2 years ago

I thought everything will go back to its right places na kasi okay na, magkasama na kayo ulit. Pero hanggang akala pa rrin ata talaga yan Eyb. Nakakapagod ang ganyan yong pilit mong inaaayos ang lahat pero ayaw nong isa. If wala na talagang magagawa better if focus ka nalang muna s sarili mong family. Sa kanila mo nalang muna ibuhos lahat ng pagmamahal mo. Aigoooi

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2 years ago

Kaya nga, akala ko rin eh. Yan talaga akala ko diba, ang dami kung pangarap at plano para sa kanila na pag nakaipon bibili ako lupa at bahay para sa kanila after non focus na ako sa sarili kung pamilya pero di nila ako maintindihan. Alam mo sinabihan nya pa ako “ang sama na nang ugali mo porket may pera ka na, wag mo na kaming gastusan kakasama lang nang loob mo yan” grabi yung pride nya, alam nyo paano ako nag sakripisyo at dami ko plans para sa kanila pero kahit isa non di pala nya na appreciate at tingin nya sakin ma kwenta kasi may mga nasasabi ako kasi naman yung mga anak nya walang cooperation. Ako pa naging masama in the end, ang saklap lang talaga.

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2 years ago

I can understand your feelings and when I read everything I also think about your parents who made you like this. You seem to be born into the world unexpectedly or by mistake. Fight, friends, there is a lesson in it if I compare it to myself, since I was little I was very tormented when my mother left me because she was called by God and I was like an abandoned child who didn't know where to go but because of the struggle of life I kept working and trying so I could survive even though I live simple.

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2 years ago

I always make a point that always king is not born, sometimes a person is born to be a slave. Every human on this planet doesn't have the same story some get even worst. And my friend, don't feel bad about the situation, there are more worst cases than yours. Just I would say it stands strong.

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2 years ago

Sister don't be panic it was too sad when you were infant no one was there for your care. Don't feel bad now you are good girl. I hope your mother will soon realize you are good daughter of hers.

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2 years ago

Praying for you ate, huhuhu feel you. 😭🙏

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2 years ago

I really thought it was a fiction story but it was happened in reality, I feel pity for what you've experienced ate, i don't understand why there are parents which are so irresponsible, I admire your strong will not to commit any mistakes, you've faced all those struggles who make who you are right now. It's hard to give advice but I just want to say that those bad experience from the past became a tool from what you are right now, I know that the pain is still there and forgiving a person who hurt you physically and mentally isn't easy however you need to let go all those pain in order for you to move on.

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2 years ago

Sana nga fiction lang to eh, pero hindi.. ang hirap pero kakayanin ko kasi may anak na ako yun na lang pag tuunan ko nang pansin.

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2 years ago

I'm sorry to know about this sis. Ramdam ko to though di naman ako nakakaranas ng masasakit na salita from my mother before. I ba rin ang situation natin. Pero naranasan ko na paalisin sa bahay ng mother ko kasi dadating ang kapatid ko and maliit daw ang bahay eh manganganak. From that day, I promised, I'll have a big house and everything I need to make my life comfortable. Pero noong nakuha ko na yung pangarap ko, hindi ko naman sila matiis. So I am still supporting them. Siguro nasasabi lang nila yung masasamang bagay kasi nahihirapan sila and yan yung way para marelease nila yung pain.

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2 years ago

Yan din muna gagawin ko, and if they need my help I'll still be there but not that I'm the one insisting it since she's trying to push me away anyway.

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2 years ago

Nakasabot ko sa imong sitwasyon Eybyoung and mali gyud ang gibuhat sa imong mama dili dapat ka niya basolon kung nagka-letse letse iyang kinabuhi.

Sa tinood lang Eyb, after nako nabasa ang imong article medyo naluoy ko sa imong mama tungod kay giburusan ug gibiyaan. Siguro nahigugma imong mama sa imong papa ug sobra pero imong papa wala siya gipili tungod kay mahadlok siya biyaan iyang asawa ug makonsensya siya kung magpadayon siyag uban sa imong mama. Imong mama Eybyoung, naay unhealed nga heart and unta maayo na ang iyang kasing-kasing. Siguro naghigugmaay gyud imong mama ug papa nauna kaya lang "pinagtagpo sa maling panahon" silang duha. Pero maskin maling panahon, nagbunga man sad ilang paghigugmaay ug ikaw to Eybyoung.

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2 years ago

Yes, mao na ako gisabot. Pero enough na unta uy, this time ako napud unta iya sabton.. nganong puro siya raman. Grabi akong mental torture sukad sa bata pa ko, di na naku ma agwanta mabuang kug ingani ra permi.

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2 years ago

hangtod karon wla pa sya ga get-over gyud. ilabina nga grabe sad jud iyang naagi-an! sus, dili ko ka imagine. "disgrasyada" man sad ko, sa 2nd child kay namatay man ako bana and i choose not to padayon. Good kay ako man ang wla nipadayon pero imo mama man... looy! ilabina nag expect sya and mahagsa tanan iyang mga pangandoy plus ang mga tao, grabe manulti... Granted sad sa iyang sitwasyon may lang unta ni dapig iyang ginikanan niya before but if wala, mas grabe ang kanchaw, bogal-bogal (sa mga laki/standby sa iyo) ug uban pa... though dili justifiable nga gi ingon-ana ka niya basin usa sad angid ka ug nawng sa imong papa, mao na ur a reminder of her mistake.

Dako naman ka, maka decide naka mag unsa ka! pero go far away for the meantime and find yourself. Sa city or someplace... I have a place here in cebu city and your welcome to stay... just me and my kids, if you like to visit, you're welcome. Pero pinubre lang ta ha! hihihi...

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2 years ago

Salamat sa offer dam, I appreciate your care. Actually minyoonon naku naa ko sa poder sa ako banahonon karon, maong ani na lang gyud guro dri na lang ko kaysa didto kos akong mama ma stress rakog samot.

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2 years ago

Isang mahigpit na yakap Eyb ♥️

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User's avatar Yen
2 years ago

Thanks Yen 😭

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2 years ago

Kahapon iyak din ako ng iyak. Sa kapatid ko Naman. Haysss. Kaya mo Yan

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User's avatar Yen
2 years ago

Saklap talaga nang kalagayan natin noh, panganay na lagi sasalo sa problema

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2 years ago

Kaya nga. Hayyys

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User's avatar Yen
2 years ago

Hmm, kabalo ko ana bisan Wala ko kabalo sa exact details, sorry bhem di ta pareha ug mama, pero cge lang mausab Raman na sa kadugayan, c papa Gane strikto MN kaayo to saona karun di Naman kaayo hehe.

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2 years ago

Lain man kaayo sya te gud ug maistoryahan mo ingun na dayon nga ingani kuno ko kay dato na ko. Unsa kahay dato ani.. lahi ra gyud siya te uy. Grabi akong pag antos tungod sa iyang gipang buhat mentally pero gina try nako ug overcome. Puro sya ra iya gina huna huna wa sya labot naku.

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2 years ago

I'm so sorry you're dealing with all of this; I grew up fatherless too but never felt what you did with your mother. Please keep your head up and know that even though you may end up with bad family by birth, you can choose your new family now from those around you who genuinely care about you. Despite everything you became a strong, wonderful, kind, gentle and caring woman -- and the world is a better place because of you being here. God / Source sees everything you've been through and how you've remained stead fast and I know for this you will be blessed in the future!

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2 years ago

Thank you sis, I'm happy you didn't experience what I experience despite you don't have a father as well - coz this experience is very horrible and it pains me knowing others will experience this too.

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2 years ago

Nakakaiyak naman sis but still I am proud of you, you are still a good daughter for you mom. You still don't want that people will judge her despite what she have done to you.

It's normal you can ask it to God dahil sa sakit na nararamdaman mo, but I know God has a reason and purpose for everything. You might know about it now but sooner or later you will realized it.

Laban lang sis and I hope you an find peace and real happiness.

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2 years ago

Sana nga sis, all I want peace pero ang hirap makuha.. yeah I know God has his plans, it's just that I felt that everything is too much.

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2 years ago

Just always connect to Go through prayers sis and by reading His words in the Bible para kahit papano maliwanagan ka din of His words.

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2 years ago

Sakita sie na memsh uie. Huhuhu ang anak gajud ang maapektuhan sa mga desisyon sa ginikanan. Pero sige ra sis, ang Ginoo naay plano nato. Ug naa siyay plano nimu. Sakit man pero maka amgo ra imu mama puhon

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2 years ago

Lagi sis, anak gyud ang mag suffer intawon.. hayy ambot sis mag hope pa ba ko ma okay mi, kapoy na kaayo ko as in.

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2 years ago

Kahibaw ka sis. Way impossible sa ginoo. Ako bitaw sis, kapuy na kaayo sig sabot sa ahu igsuon. Pero ahu gihapon siya giampo.. pero mao lage na na ni distansya sa ko gamay tapos ahu sa siya paamguhon na naa siya sayop. Pero sa imung case man gud mas sakit kay parents man. E ampo lang sis. Tanan naay katapusan , pati kasakit naa ☺️

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2 years ago

Nalungkot naman ako ate eyb 😭 why naman ganyan mama mo sayo? Napakswerte na niya sayo kung tutuusin kasi may mabait at matalino siyang anak jusko dzai. Hays

Dimo deserved lahat ng nangyari sayo mula sa past hanggang ngayon. You deserve better ate! And if you can't feel that sa family mo, lalo na sa mama mo, Meron naman kaming lahat dito lalo na si Baby mo. Sana maging okay ka na ate. Fighting! 💚

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2 years ago

Thank you, siguro nga I have to start a new journey na lang this time.. I'll focus on my own family and those who really cares for me, masakit man isipin pero I've been trying to let mom accept me pero parang ang labo, puro sya lang iniisip nya. I thought nagbago na sya, ganon pa rin pala. Toxic. Nakakapagod na mentally, baka mabaliw na ako kung patuloy kung ipagsiksikan sarili ko sa kanya.

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2 years ago

alam mo sis while reading your article ramdam na ramdam ko ang sakit na pinagdaanan mo ,na habang binabasa ko ang article mo sana fiction story lang to pero sad to say true to life pala.

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2 years ago

Sana nga sis fiction lang eh, kasi ang sakit sakit na 😭

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2 years ago

stay strong sis I know kahit matapang kang tingnan pero soft hearted ka rin na tao.Now I understand you.I know di madali yung mga pinagdadaanan mo sana eh bigyan kapa ng more strength di God para makayanan lahat2x

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2 years ago

I am sorry to hear that sis. I hope you will feel better soon. It's okay to ask God but please know that everything has purpose and reason. I hope you will find yours soon.

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2 years ago

Thank you 😭

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2 years ago

"Sorry, I'm just too emotional since last night." :(

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2 years ago

Sorry, you have to read this.. I wish you have skipped. I know you have a lot in your plate.

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2 years ago

Don't worry. We all have a history and current problems to attend to. In your case, the best thing about this whole story is that you can learn from the mistakes and decisions that your parents made, analyze them and try to be better so as not to make the same mistakes. You are a warrior and you are worth a lot! Convey to your daughter all the love and affection in the world so that she is prepared for the future

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2 years ago

Thank you, I'll do my best not to repeat history with my daughter. I'll help her to prepare for the worst as much as I can. And yeah, maybe I'll focus on my own family this time, I won't waste my time anymore to people who don't care about me at all.

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2 years ago