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Dear Dad,

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Avatar for Eybyoung
Written by   988
1 month ago
Topics: Letter, Life, Experience

First, I don't know if I should call you dad. I don't even know if you ever know my existence, but well can I just call you dad just for the sake of the title of this article? Just now, please.

You know what since I came into the world, or shall I say when I started to understand things at a young age I already know I don't have a father. If in drama movies, usually, the protagonist grows up without knowing who their dad was or only knows that their dad already died.

How did I know since then that I don't have a dad at a young age then? Well, I almost hear it every day. You know my mom hates me because she can remember you through me, she remembered that she was fooled by you by just seeing me. She keeps calling me that I am a daughter of the devil, which is you. She'll beat me for lame reasons and she'll blame me for all the misery that she had been through because you fooled her and you left her when she was conceiving with me.

I was bullied even by my mother because she hated what happens to her, although she should not blame me as I was innocent and it's not my fault but as I grew up I've learned to understand how she feels because she had been through a lot since she was impregnated by you. She's been named a slut, even if she's only a victim as well. I know she had lapses as well and responsibilities with all her actions but she's just too fragile as well, that she hardly accept what happens to her.

Do you know that my mom committed suicide when I was still an infant because even if she already gave birth to me, she can't still accept and understand everything? She decided to end her life by drinking pesticides. She doesn't think that if she died, what happens to me? It's a good thing g she was brought to the hospital right away, the reason I have to breastfeed with my step-grandma is that I might be poison as well if I'll feed on her directly as I was still an infant, and easy to be infected. You know what, when I know that story what did I told to myself? I said I wish she should have breastfed me so I'll die early and I don't have to endure everything, every misery that I have to go through just because you left us.

The misery doesn't stop there, you know that I grew up without any friends because kids are only bullying me and their parents will tell them “don't play with her because her mom is a slut and she doesn't have a father.” Did you know that I only have myself at that time because I can't tell anyone that I am being bullied, as no one cares even my mom? I can live without friends, it doesn't matter to me but why do they have to keep hurting me even if I didn't do anything to them just because I don't have you? Why can't they be nice and be grateful that they have a father, a complete family because it's not easy to be me? Sometimes I wonder how it feels to have a loving father, how it feels to have a father who will be there for you in times of trouble, and until now I still wonder if I had you by my side would there be a difference in my situation right now?

Some people asked me, “Why don't you look for your father?” and I was like why would I find the person who left me in the first place?

They said it's vital to my growth as I was incomplete without knowing you, yes I am not complete because there's always a missing piece in my whole being and that is you but I already accepted that in this lifetime, I can have everything if I strive hard except you. The only thing I can't have in this lifetime is a father, a father who will always be the first love of his daughter, a father that will always be willing to do everything just to protect her princess. I already accepted that I wasn't born to be a princess but I was born to be a female warrior, I was born to conquer all the battles in life without relying on anyone.

They said you are already dead, I don't know and I don't have plans to dig deeper. I am too tired of battling since the beginning and I don't have enough time to waste just to find you. Even if you don't ask how I was, don't worry I am fine. Not fine but I can handle it all, without you, without your help. As I said, I was born to be a warrior and a warrior will always try their best to win their battles no matter what.

That's all, I can't tell you any meaningful words, like thank you for being a sperm donor because if I had a choice I wouldn't have existed in the first place as I'll never choose you to be my dad.

-Eybyoung

Lead Image before Edit from: Unsplash (Derek Thomson)


Hello there!

If you wonder why I wrote this, I just saw a movie that I was relatable to. She didn't know her father when she was still young, then when she grows up she found out that her dad was still alive but already had another family. Then she finally met her dad, when they faced each other she get a small box and inside the box are the letters that she wrote for her dad. Then I've got ideas that why should I not write him as well since I didn't do it at all?

So yeah, that's my letter for the man who is only a sperm donor and was never a father to me.

Date Published: September 26, 2021

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Avatar for Eybyoung
Written by   988
1 month ago
Topics: Letter, Life, Experience
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Comments

Sending hugs, stay strong always

$ 0.00
2 days ago

..hugs to you sis 😔 naiyak ako sa story mo, I remember what told me on my Article about my Dad, and yeah I'm still lucky to be with him even for awhile..

..but then, I know everything happens for a reason, and for sure the reason why it happened to you is for you to grow as a strong person who can conquer everything on her own. And I admired you more because of that. 🙂

$ 0.05
1 month ago

I got teary reading this. I don't even know the right words to type. Will it help in any way ? I asked myself. But i feel relieve because i know the kind of woman you turned out to be Eyb. 💚💚💚

$ 0.00
1 month ago

Hehe thank you, at least you read it through and that is enough.. you feel the emotions hehe. Thank you so much 😊

$ 0.00
1 month ago

Oh my disquieted soul! I really do feel for you and for women in general. We men can be so annoying sometimes to the extent that even the much talked about love and affection we may promise the women are not met and this is really so annoying I must but in all, I say sorry and pls take while I implore you to quit the ugly thought of it and forge ahead ok

$ 0.03
1 month ago

You suffered a lot of pain. Be strong mate.

$ 0.01
1 month ago

Yeah thanks mate 😊

$ 0.00
1 month ago

Big hug for you sis! I got teary eyed as I read this. I wasn't expecting this at all. I never understood why people always think like that about single parents. Or why would they let their children bully someone? They already know that the family is going through something and the least they could do is to stop their children from bullying the kid.

$ 0.03
1 month ago

Yeah, I don't know why some people are so narrow minded as well. Poor kids who are fatherless always being targeted by bullies.

$ 0.00
1 month ago

If I ever see one I'll be sure to butt in even if everybody says it's a kids quarrel. Nobody deserves to treated like especially an innocent kid.

$ 0.00
1 month ago

What if makita mo father mo.. Ano magiging reaction mo?

$ 0.01
1 month ago

Iwan ko, feeling ko wala lang hahaha. Hindi kasi ako basta basta natutuwa or any kind lf emotions lalo na pag stranger sakin.

$ 0.00
1 month ago

Pro kht photo hndi mo pa nakita?

$ 0.00
1 month ago

Hindi, di rin kasi ako ma usisa.

$ 0.00
1 month ago

Underneath your mother's anger towards your father, I felt as if she had a great love for him. If he's alive, I think you should find your father for two reasons. The first may not be aware of your existence. Secondly, if he left you knowing of his existence, you should show him your warrior identity and make him feel what he lost. You were born and raised in the middle of a big drama. He feels how strong that can make you, I understand you. Life does not treat us equally.

$ 0.03
1 month ago

For now I don't have plans on finding him, I don't have time haha if he's still then whatever.

$ 0.00
1 month ago

I guess, eto ang reason kung bkit ka naging palaban sa buhay sis. At saludo ako sayo sa kabila ng pinagdaanan mo nun bata ka pa ay nasa tamang landas ka a din at hindi napariawara.

$ 0.03
1 month ago

I felt really sad while reading your letter to your dad.. I don't know what to say kaya BIG virtual HUG nalang sis..

$ 0.03
1 month ago

The same as this, I didn't grew up with my real dad even my mom. Only my grandpa, grandparents. I never search for them because why should I? My grandparents made me feel the love they should give and I am contented with my grandparents' love too

$ 0.03
1 month ago

You are not a princess, yes. Because you are a warrior. I agree with that. And you are also a queen. Look how strong you are, you have probably inspired otgers round you as well.

$ 0.00
4 weeks ago

same with you I do not know my father leaving us when at tender age, not even recall his face, until he goes to heaven. I was brain washed of how bad he is so, I do not long for him but l envied others for being endowed with a loving and responsible father.

$ 0.03
1 month ago

I was reading and wondering if it was really about you or was it fiction. I loved. Everything happens for a reason. In life nothing is random. When I was little my mother filled my head with bad things about my father. I grew up without a father by my side, as they were divorced even before I was born. He kept turning me against my dad. To the point that I couldn't even see it. After growing up, I was able to make my own decisions. I started to get closer to him and let him into my life. My mom turned the page and I forgive. Today they get along well, without grudges, as it should be.

$ 0.05
1 month ago

You are a warrior as you say, it's a cruel story I don't think anyone expected it, you have moved me. I admire you, you knew how to get ahead, it's time to move on, it doesn't even deserve to be thought about, you don't need it. Here you have many fathers, mothers, sisters and brothers who support you and will rejoice in your triumphs. Never give up.

$ 0.05
1 month ago

You are indeed strong

$ 0.02
1 month ago

Sorry to read your story of fatherlessness. It is my son's story. But I am able to raise him as best I can. He is my beloved son. Maybe one fine day the father will decide to come looking for him and have the courage to tell him that he is his father.

$ 0.04
1 month ago

I can feel the emotion of your article and despite of being without a father I can feel your strong and your really a survivor from the day you were born.I just hope healing within your heart with all the bullies in your life and with the circumstance that this life have for you.God bless day,amping primi.

$ 0.04
1 month ago

Hmm, he's one of the reason din bakit pinili mong maging matapang diba, walang magtatanggol sayo kaya pinili mong maging strong. Mahirap sabihing thanks to it kasi naging matapang ka, pero un din ang totoo diba. You become a warrior na hindi basta basta mapapatumba ng kahit ano at sino. Naging Wonder Mom ka 🤗🤗🤗💙

$ 0.04
1 month ago

sending virtual hugs sis!

$ 0.00
4 weeks ago

Thank you sis 😘

$ 0.00
3 weeks ago

big bear hugs!!!!!

$ 0.01
1 month ago

Thank you 😭😊

$ 0.00
1 month ago