Blogmas: My Thoughts before Christmas

Yesterday, I plan to Convert my Bitcoincash again. Just a little amount that supposed to be used to buy some gifts for my Cousins and Grandparents. But there are some reasons why I didn't buy gifts for them. The reason why I do that is because yesterday, they always talk and talk that I should also give them some gifts. I really like to give some gifts to them too you know while I am still earning here. Because, I feel so bad when I don't give some. I feel guilty.

In the morning, I told my Sister that we should go to the Mall while it is still opened but we didn't make it because we need to

Clean the House

Our Aunts and Uncles together with their Families will go here. They will spend the Christmas here. Every year, they always decide if which family they will celebrating the Christmas eve and New year. Sometimes, we celebrate the Christmas with them and sometimes we welcomed the new year.

I spend my whole day cleaning and helping my Grandma and my Sister to clean the house. From moping, from cleaning the unecessary stuffs to kitchen and every surroundings, etc. It's hurts my back and because of this, I also forgot to write article.

I like to give them some gifts because on those years that I celebrated christmas with them, they are always giving me and I never give some to them so, I decided to chat my cousin if she can able to go to the Mall. I already have my Bitcoincash to my Coins.ph wallet and I will just convert it to peso. I told her the gifts that I would like to give to them. However, she said that they will not go to the Mall at that time because they are already preparing to go here.

I don't know why but I really understand the reason why my plan is failed. You know that God always have a reason why we can't do the things or supposed to be happen. And before this day end, I finally understand why.

I heared the most word that I hate the most

You know about my life already as I always wrote about it and I always share to you all of what I want to tell that I can't say it personally. In my eight months of writing here, I wrote about my half of my life already. If you are my new reader and if you don't know, to make the story short, I am not in a good terms with my Family. Period.

A while ago, while I am washing the dishes as I helped them to the Kitchen, My Grandpa praised my Cousin that she is a hard working person. For how many years that I am staying here and I am doing the things that make them happy, I never heared those words from them. What I really hate is comparing me to them. I admit sometimes I am lazy to do the things that they want me to do and I disobeyed them but I am really not lazy because I'm busy working here. I'm busy to my grind so that I can able to give them some money to pay bills, to pay grocery, and needs. But, I never heared some words like that. I never experienced to be praised by them because of my Hard work.

Then, I realized that...my cousins are their favorite. They always give what they wanted. Like Tuitions, laptops, in just one wish, they can have it. While us? We are just an option to them.

And that is the reason why my Christmas is ruined. I don't like to go out and I am just staying inside of my room right now. Because why not? I should better spend my time to read and earn that talking and spending my time to the people that making me feel like this right now.

I remember that I have a little amount of BCH that is the amount that supposed to be spend for the Gifts but I take it back even if, I can still continue my plans after Christmas.

What I will do to my BCH that I send to my Coins.ph?

Option 1: I will Keep it and let it stay to my coins.ph

There is nothing that I can do but to let it just stay there and wait for the BCH to pump it again and if that happens,

Option 2: Add another additional BCH for the Bank

When the BCH will pump again, I will just convert another BCH. I need to convert again because creating my own bank account is one of my plan before already. I always wrote about it and it supposed to be happen this month but the BCH price is not good yet.

Option 3: Make a Trift clothes Business

I really like this one and this is also one of my plan before yet I always changed my mind because I am affraid that I would never have a buyer.

Conclusion...

Sometimes, I also think to be selfish. I always put them first but they never see my efforts. They are still the same and they just treat me just like before. I am also thinking right now to tell them that my balances was hacked so that I can spend my money to the house. I already bought cavans of rice and I think that is enough for now. If i will always give what they wanted and they are just looking to my cousins, I always hurt my self. It is so sad to think that it is christmas yet, Here I am, being depressed.

My Previous Articles:

My two Christmas Wishes

A quick tour to my samsung a52 5G phone

Yes, I can write Everyday

Solving Phone lagging

Foods that I like to try to eat on Christmas eve