@Ellawrites
How can you tell a man; no and still be friends?. Something happened yesterday and it actually triggered the inspiration to write this article. How the topic came into play. I talk to myself alot, I'm part of those category of people that finds: **"self"** to be a really interesting and loving friend to actually talk to. Yesterday evening, I engaged myself in a discussion; remembering the occurrence that happened yesterday morning and oh!, Through this process, this question popped up. ***How can you tell a man; no and still be friends?.*** As a girl, so many boys/men would come; knocking on the door to your heart, requesting for love and a relationship. If you decide to date all the boys/men that asks you out, you might as well end up dating the whole males in the world. In essence... *There are just some people that must be politely turned down.* Initially, anytime a guy passes the green light to me, I tell him my response immediately, once I know the answer is no, then so be it. Am not a fan of telling a guy the: ***"give me sometime to think about it."*** If I know that am not interested, then get ready to hear me go straight to the point. Let's skip all these long talks. What actually happened yesterday? I work in an agent's office, one of my jobs is to go out; ***"house hunting, shop hunting, land hunting"*** writing down the numbers I've gotten and putting a call through to them to find out the **prices, rents, agreement, commission and all in all; the total packages.** In the past. I had already written down the number I saw on a board, placed directly in front of a vacant two bedroom apartment, I had tried speaking directly to the landlord of the house since I had already seen the house, but all efforts were rendered futile. The tenant I saw there gave me no information whatsoever, she told me plainly to call the agent's number that was written on the board outside. Yesterday. I put a call through to him and we conversed, I asked questions as regards the house and he didn't fail to provide answers. The discussion actually went well, only for him to call back few minutes after I had hung up, he asked if I saw his text message, I had responded in the negative and told him I'd check it. I went on to check the message and I was just shocked... **Here's a screenshot.**
This man has never seen me before, but I needed his service, so I was trying my best to reply in ways that he'll understand and maybe we might just probably be able to pull through with the deal.
He was just moving way too fast.
I still need him, he's useful in the area of being an agent, but then; with the way he just wasn't seeing reasons, I had to stop replying. Now... Have I destroyed this relationship? Am I the one at fault? Is there something I could have said to still keep the conversation going?. I know of guys that even if you tell them you're in a relationship, they'll still want to shoot their shots. Now, I followed my mum's guidelines by telling him what I told him in the above, but still yet; the relationship has been destroyed. Sometimes, friendships that have been built for months or years suddenly goes sour after the guy passes the green light and the girl just refuses to see it or better still; refuses to pass it back to him. She probably gave him the red light instead. The question above might really be somehow difficult to respond to, especially because we all see things from different perspective. Some guys prefer to just stay away to avoid them from being in pain. While some still decides to stick around and remain friends... Oh I love these kinds. Some are just being selfish, especially because they know you are quite used to their presence. Honestly, at this point, I literally don't even know if there'll be any answer to the question above. It's good to keep relationships with people, but then it's also good to allow the guy in question; do what he feels would be better, to help his sanity and peace of mind. Till we meet again in my next article and in yours. Thanks for reading.
36 comments
Definitely no sense in what he did though, like wth... There's no way the "relationship" (friendship)wouldn't have spoilt, y'all just spoke and the next thing he be throwing the L word around like it don't mean shit c'mon that's crap... But y'all might still be able to do business though that's a whole different story entirely(the business aspect that is, seeing as there's money involved and all). To answer your question though some people still stay friends after getting the negative answer, but it depends on the person for some its too much pain to be around the person they get reminded of what they can't have, while for others they just can't stand losing the person completely they'd rather stay friends than lose the person completely, and it also boils down to how much they like said person, different people and different way they handle shit nothing selfish bout that honestly. Oh PS you say and type too many sir's lool.
Lol, or maybe you're the one that would communicate with that man, I don't think I can call him anymore. Wow! Brilliant of you to say this el, I see so much sense in this. Thanks a whole lot for your contribution. Lol, for the Sir's, I'll try and change.
Me ke... He's your man crush count me out Abeg😂 Its my pleasure. And you don't have to change I was only messing with u
Well, this escalated really quickly. I personally would'nt have continued with the conversation. At least, for some time. What bothers me most is how he just went all in without even creating some sort of bonds or friendship first. Awkward. :-(
It really did, Vince. Lol... He knows what he actually wants... He's just something else, thanks for stopping by here Vince.
Well, the man was too quick with his step, I wouldn't advise you to go on with the conversation or even the friendship, it shows he is desperate for something. About the question, nothing can be done it only depends on the type of person, some can decide to stay while some can't bear the pain so they go away.
Hmmmm, "he's desperate for something..." Yes indeed, that's definitely true. Sighs... How true, thanks for this explanation boss.
🤣🤣🤣🤣 This is love at first call. Voice Don make person fall in love. I want to hear that voice too. I'd say you stay away from him. YOU DON'T NEED HIM. It is not everyone you'll do business with. And it is unprofessional of him to even do this. The worse part is you two have never even seen each other. Plus he can't even type English correctly 😔
Lol 😂 Wow! "It's not everyone you do business with" this struck really deep. Lol, his English; indeed is terrible. Lol, 😂 Thanks boss, I really do appreciate this.
When I first saw the topic, I thought the interaction was between a girl and a guy that she has known for quite some time but going through the article, I would say that there's absolutely nothing wrong with saying NO in that case. Your relationship should be strictly on business terms and not otherwise. But in a case where a boy has been quite close to you and make be decides to go for the golden price and gets rejected at the end of the day. Not everybody can handle rejection, so If he decides not to be friends at the end, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Maybe he's trying to heal or maybe he feels there's no reason to be friends any longer since his ain has been defeated. You on the other hand, such advances obviously conflicts with your belief and you are adamant such that nothing's gonna make you change your stance, same goes to the guys they have feelings and beliefs as well and they work in accordance to that. It shouldn't be used against them. It's not easy to handle rejection.
It was still diverted back to the topic, thanks for this... Hmmmm, from your perspective, I now understand that even guys feel pains from rejection, I usually believed they heal faster and moves on quicker. Sighs... You're indeed right Chief, I should definitely understand and just let whatever happens; happen.
There are a lot of shameless men out there who behave like dogs on heat. You should have chosen violence not peace. There are some men that you need to put in their place quickly and harshly. I am sure he is married with kids but sleeps outside with different men. Things like this make me reconsider getting married. There are a lot of distrustful people out there.
Exactly Mofif, really shameless people, wow, that thought hadn't even crossed my mind. You're so right ooh, he just might even be a married man... Jeez, some men are really shameless. Awwwwwn, but don't reconsider because of these happenings, marriage is awesome even two reasonable people gets married.
There is a different kind of joy in sharing your feelings with yourself. You are not guilty, I think you did the right thing. It is better not to talk if you do not have feelings for him in your heart.
Awwwwwn ☺️ exactly dear. That joy is just something else. Awwwwwn, thanks Sonali. I really do appreciate your lovely contribution.
Most welcome dear friend 🥰
The answer you gave was quite ok, I don't think you have said any thing wrong, also for guys that stays with a girl that they like and after pass the greenlight, and she turns him down.. It better he let go than still become close friends.. Though distance friendship is advisable
Wow! Thanks alot Fash. Sighs... I shouldn't let it be a bother to me anymore then. I've surrendered to him; letting go. I'll love that distance relationship.
When I saw, I have surrender to him, hope its not what I'm thinking sha... It want to look like two drama in one play
Lol 😂 I mean; I've accepted my fate, he should let me go for his sanity's sake... I'll be fine
Oh, is that what you mean😏😏, I saw it the other way round
Lol 😂 no ooh boss... This was what I meant ooh. Aaaah. Other way round khe. Lol
There's nothing wrong with your answer, the man wants something else. This remind of a guy that keeps pestering me even when I had told him No countless times because just like you, I don't like beating around the bush asking for more time because I won't even think about it sef. There's one I met recently though and when he green lighted me and I told him No like always he stayed away , far away, I knew what he wanted...
Some guys are just terrible, a girl tells them no and still they keep pestering the life of the girl. Awww, i love the fact that you don't also beat around the bush.
The big majority of men don't have this culture means every girl they meet in life or even see on the internet so directly would be your friend. If you simply say no to them you are ignoring him or devalorizing him but the simple reason is that you may not know him very well and you need a time frame to decide if it is possible to establish a friendship or not. It is not like you buy a motorcycle so you meet the buyer and buy a motorcycle that you find it very well but human relationships.
Your gave him a perfect answer,dere is nothing wrong with your reply but at the same time you need a business partner or house agent you can talk to anytime,I mean concerning the business, not the you can't talk to . If this kind of many keeps disturbing I won't feel free around him and for me I will break up the relationship ,especially when I know I don't have any kind of feelings for such person
Sighs, thanks Deola, this is exactly what I'll do... Breaking up the relationship when I don't feel anything. Thanks for this lovely contribution of yours dear.
You're welcome ma
We have to be careful with sweet talkers. I'm pretty sure this guy wants something else. A lot of people can fall into traps that sweet talkers do. Take all the necessary precautions when dealing with other people.
Hmm, this is so true, he definitely wants something else. I'll be careful, thanks alot, Article.
"I will sex u after marriage"? Seriously, what kind of pickup line is that? I appreciate his honesty but please, it's uncomfortable. He's a creep and mildly harassing you. Just be careful.
Wow! Ma'am, you're right. I'll be careful ma'am... Thanks alot for this lovely advise.
You gave him a polite answer, you are not at fault dear telling him you are not interested is a polite thing, you just need to be mindful with those who say sweet things just to get you he has something else in mind just be careful.
Thanks Grace, uhhhm... I will be really careful of them. Thanks for this lovely advice Grace.
The screenshots got me cracked up🤣🤣🤣. Oga was too forward, he would have started with little shots before hitting big. lol. Well as for me, it depends on how the reply came. Some I choose to stay off while some I choose to still be her good friend but she shouldn't be billing me🤗
Lol 😂 Awww, I love your reply honestly! 🥺 I doubt if she'll bill you. I love the fact that you're still cool; sticking as friends.