Why should I care?

Hallo folks. Good morning from this side. First I'd like to say sorry for being absent on read all through yesterday. I remember telling you some time ago that I was engaged.. 💍... .. In a feeding program!😂😂

The program kept me busy throughout yesterday. It consists of contributing food to primary schools within the area. I hadn't been participating due to school but since we're on strike now, I thought it good to give a helping hand. Today I am part of the cooking team rather than the distributing team I was part of yesterday. So I am mostly free.

So, a friend of mine from long ago just called me this morning, randomly. We haven't been communicating for some time now so it was quite a surprise. We greeted normally but her tone seemed a bit cold. I asked if something was the matter and she started ranting about how I haven't been a good friend and have abandoned and forgotten all about her. I took it as a joke as some of my friends jokingly do this when we haven't talk for a while. It later seemed to me that she wasn't really joking about it and I was kinda shocked when she started calling me unreliable and disloyal. Well... What do I do? I tried explaining to her about school pressure and how a lot has changed and keeps changing. She said that I was just looking for an excuse for why I don't care. I apologised because I am a person who do not like picking fights with her friends, especially for reasons that are irrelevant as the example above.

Well I must admit that, there was a time when we were so close that we chatted all day about stuf, but that was when things haven't piled up. Then, we used to have a lot of free time in our hands but as things began to mount, we had to face tasks that needed to be sought out. We began growing distant but that was not because we lost interest in each other or that one person offended the other, it's just because of the reason stated above. I still care about this friend of mine a lot. Even when I don't call regularly. I still do.

Some of us still don't know the difference between feeling cared for than actually being cared for. People can make you feel that they care about you but they do not really care about you, they might only be doing it to get something from you. Same thing with feeling loved than actually being loved. The fact that I call you everyday or chat with you everyday doesn't necessarily mean that I care, about you. I may only be doing it to get something and once I get it, I disappear without a trace!

Personally, I make it a duty to send goodwill messages to all my friends and family every Friday just to make them know that I wish them luck in all their endeavours. Those who really know me know that even if I do not call very often, I still care. If there's anything really worth addressing, like a family problem or a situation of a friend who needs my help, that's a different case. You might not speak for months but if you need anything from me you're free to call and if I can help you in anyway, I would. I won't even think of it as "so it's because you need my help you called, you don't even call to check up on me!". I understand that everyone is busy living life and we all need to understand that please.

There's this male friend of mine who once called and here's how our conversation went:

friend: Assalamu Alaykum

Layla: wa Alaykum Salam.

Male friend :How've you been all this while?

Layla: fine thank you!.... You?

friend: fine thanks... Are you really okay?

Layla:yeah sure!

friend: are you sure?

Layla: well to be honest, I am not okay...

Friend(taken aback.. Stammers) : so what's the problem?

Layla: tells him the problem

Friend : wow.. Okay bye!

This is a friend I know doesn't really care about me because of something that once happened, he simply asked to know if I am alright just to know what I am facing at the moment, not to offer any help, not to offer any advice, just to know for future references. I know that's what he wants and I still told him he problem because I do not really care. Some people call you to "check up on you" not because they really care but because they want you to feel like "this guy called to check up on me, therefore he cares about me, therefore he's my friend". I guess a lot of us know this but we choose to remain silent about it.

The point I want all of us to not in the above conversation is that just because someone calls you often doesn't mean they care, and just because someone doesn't call you often doesn't mean that they don't care. Not to brag, but whenever I pray, I pray for all of my friends and family, including those who do not speak to me any more. Even those with whom I haven't spoken to for a long time, and to me that's the greatest amount of love and care you can show anyone. To talk to God about them, because sometimes even those who say they are fine aren't really fine. They don't just want to stress you but God knows all that's wrong with them, and He is in the best position to help them... not me.

I am not sure what the reader's take on this is, but it's just because I am a person who isn't very interested in irrelevant and small talks generally. Sometimes I can be very talkative, sometimes I prefer utmost solitude. Sometimes I just want to be left alone. Sometimes I don't like picking calls, not because I am busy or snobbish, but because I don't just want to talk to anyone at the moment. Sometimes I don't even like people asking me how I am because most people are expecting pti to say "fine!" just like when they tell you "good morning" and you reply "morning!". "How are you? " is like a form of greeting nowadays and if you reply otherwise than "fine!" you appear weird.

As for my friend who got offended because I haven't been calling to check up on her, I will ensure that I call her at least three times every week henceforth. If that will make her happy then I think it's worth it. Besides I can understand where she's coming from, she is someone who has told me a lot of her darkest secrets and you know, there tend to be a form of attachment to those with whom you share your secrets and it feels devastating when these people abandon you.

Thanks for reading guys. Don't forget to include your loved ones in your prayers. Thank to all my subscribers, readers, up voters, commenters and awesome sponsors.

Special thanks to @Khing14 for the sponsorship renewal. I am very grateful.

Yours Layly,

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