Sometimes the place you used to is not the place you are belong

These past few days I wasn't feeling well. My body weight dropped significantly from 57 kilograms to 53 kilograms. I lose almost 4 kilograms in just a week. I had few headaches and my eyes are aching most especially the left one. I'm low blood too. I'm taking daily vitamins such as vitamins C and Multivamis like Enervon. I did some stretching and exercises so that I still can maintain my physical health in check.

Have you ever had felt peer pressure?

You don't have to answer my question. I know most of us had felt the feeling of peer pressure. Peer pressure is a type of pressure that can get from your common peer such as friends, classmates and cousins. The greatest peer pressure I ever felt was way back on high school. I can consider this pressure as dangerous because it pushes me to exert my everything in its limit. On the other hand, this allows me to have breakthrough in every stage of my life during those days.

I still remember the phrase my grandmother said to me few years back. I actually don't want to remember this but I think it's the past so it's okay. It is second grading period and the our card distribution was finished. I felt joy because I retained my grades which I had a general weighted average of 94.67%. Thus I remained top 1 in our class which is a great feeling of satisfactory.

When I visited my grandma's home, my smile is very evident to my face. I entered her home proudly holding my achievements which I worked on really hard in the entire grading period. Restless nights due to review, and finishing projects. I presented her my grades and she smiled. However, after a minutes, I was shocked to what she said.

"Ang taas ng grade mo ngayon Denn ah. Wala ba itong itataas pa katulad sa pinsan mo? " (Tagalog para dama!)

"You had high grade now, Denn. Can you not raise it (grades) like your cousins?"

After she finished her sentence, I smiled and pretended to be okay. I said I can do better next grading period. "You don't have to worry, La", I added. When I went back home, I was hurt and my heart is bleeding in her words as if a double-edged sword. That day I promised to myself that I can show them how capable I am in my academics.

In addition, it fuels my desire to be committed to something that I don't like. Although I like to get high grades, but not in that way. My vision to achieved my goal was covered by hurtful words which blinded me until I was in senior high school. Thankfully, I met Jesus along the way and set me free from the chains that I was the one who chained myself.

Not all places you used to is where you belong

You might used to cling to someone for you to be able to advance. There are people who are opportunist which if they saw someone who can help them achieve their goal in life. They will cling to get that person's attention and trust. Even if the journey is rough and unsure, but if they can benefit. They will go for it. Those are very dangerous people.

You might used to hangout with friends. We cannot live and enjoy the benefits of friendship without hangouts and parties. We usually set a plan to go a trip such as hiking, biking, dining in a restaurant, watching movies, visiting parks, and strolling around local tourist spots in your area. However, there are extreme hangouts which we should avoid like attending parties every night, asking you favor to do something that's you are not comfortable to do, drinking alcohol, smoking and even trying drugs. Get out in this kind of group of friends.

You might used to blame yourself. I was once a person who used to blame myself for everything happened badly at home. I felt so responsible as if I'm the one accountable to everything. Also, you might used to blame yourself because people are leaving you without knowing the reasons why. I'm telling you if people are leaving you without reason, it doesn't mean they don't like you. Don't blame yourself. You deserved better. Better friends, better lover, and better relationships.

"Sometimes going out from your own shell is advisable. Exploring the world with eagerness and burning passion. Don't stay to what you used to because that's the only thing you know. The world is big and you are so free to do anything you want. Find a place you are happy and accepted."

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Thank you for reading!

Blog #39 
3/6/22