I'm Afraid
Have you ever felt that sometimes your not sure if you want to grab the opportunity or enter into such situation that your not sure? I talking about love, maybe some of you had already found their true love and formed a family. I know that there are things you've risk in order to enter into relationship some are succesful but some got failed and left lots of broken hearts hanging in the ceiling of the room.
I wonder what's I felt right now, is this love? yes I know this is love but why I'm so afraid to face that four letters and one word?. I define love as a mutual feeling of two or group of people towards each other but when I focus on deeper meaning of love there's another word I discover which is relationship. It's normal to see two people loving each other in times of rich and poor.
I've witness different relationship that stands for years and both person decide to bind themselves into one by engage on marriage. It's really wonderful to feel the love, just imagine a man or a woman you love making you smile everytime, by simple things they've done like kissing you on forehead, holding your hands and do some sweet actions makes a person hearts melt.
Love is truly amazing cause it made two people feel like they are on top of the world, two people who sitting at the shore while leaning on shoulder and talking about the future. I have also friends which had solid relationship, they start their relationship at 13 and now they are road to 2 years. Just imagine how strong relationship can be if there's a communication and you always see the one you love in person.
However there are instances which two people like each other and saying sweet words to each other but there's no label. It means that they are not in relationship but they are showing affection towards each other. It's sounds that they are just fooling each other but people had reasons why they are on that state.
It's really complicated once the person asked what status they are in? The other person might not answer it since he or she's not sure if they will take it seriously. I'm in that situation, I have this girl that I've met 5 years ago, she's the same age as me but she's cute size. I assuem that she's just 13 year old tha time due to her height but I learn that she's also 16 and it's unbelievable.
Anyways, we are not that into communication, for 5 years we are rarely talking each other via social media but the funny part is I visit her on her place every 2 months just to check if she's still alive. We are close to each other even if we rarely talk to each other in chat. This past few months, I visited her on her work place since she's working as a seller of bread at a stall in terminal of FTI.
I even surprised her on her birthday when I showed myself in their stall and she got surprised. I stayed there for a moment and talk with her, I asked how she is and found out that she already broke up with her boyfriend 1 year ago and she's single for a year. She also request me to sing for her cause she's used to receive voice messages from me before. To make the story short, we became more close to each other.
I visited her in their house and I'm glad that her family knows me well, even neighbors recognized me. Her mother is also sweet and keeps asking me questions then one time her mother asked me if I'm her daughter's boyfriend then that girl said that I'm already her husband. I don't know what I'm gonna react that time it's just a joy in my heart to hear those words.
One time while we are on video call, I asked him in not serious way if we are going to take this seriously and she answered that the decision is on me since I'm the one who will make a move. I don't understand myself I've love the girl but I'm afraid to deal with the word relationship. I'm not afraid to get rejected but I'm afraid to hurt and disappoint her if there's a chance that we engage on relationship.
She's very kind, caring and beautiful, she's also independent person cause I already witness how hardworking she is in her job and also task at home. She's also not feel disgust if she hold dirty objects and she's even proud to show me her hands full of charcoal from woods. I can't understand myself, the problem is on me, I'm still immature to enter in relationship since I'm afraid to hurt her emotionally.
I had lots of things need to fix on myself, I need to make changes on me so that one day when I face her again I'm totally prepared but I know the fact that maybe one day if I face again she's already happy to another guy that she found. Maybe I just need to accept it due to my cowardness. Did you remember my goal to not engage in to relationship for a while, maybe I'll stick to that. Sorry if I'm too corny to share this one and also you can truly find me as an immature, hope you can forgive me for that.
I'm sorry but what about the love of your life "Aswang" that you posted a month ao?? do not cheat on her 🤣🤣