Reacting to Betrayal

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2 years ago

Heartbreaks and betrayals a lot of us here have experienced at least once in our lives. We trust, we love, we care for somebody with everything we've got and then all of a sudden it gets reduced to rubble and taken for granted like it was nothing to them. We become heartbroken, sad, and even angry for what they have done to us. In most cases our initial emotions are that of resentment and vengeance but do you, as a person let these initial emotions take over you or do they turn into something else over time?

A period of betrayal is an often difficult one. We find a hard time wrapping our heads around the fact that we have been betrayed, since the most hurtful betrayals come from those who matter alot to us it takes time for us to come to terms with the reality of it all and that's a form of suffering on its own.

In life, things are much easier if we view them through a lens of optimism and hope. While it can be extremely difficult to accept what has been done to you, especially by someone you love, do not try to deny yourself to feel the pain of what has been done. Do not call them immediately after the realisation as you're still very vulnerable to your emotions at this point and anything you say wouldn't make any sense. Cry if you wish, hug your pillow and make sure you drain every piece of hurtful tears into them. If you have a close supportive friend, go to them for emotional support. Empty your heart to them, this can do you some good for the meantime and after getting into the overwhelmingly emotional stage of the betrayal, we become more logical and less emotional. We start thinking than just reacting blindly even if much of they thinking revolves around why the person had acted the way they did. If you spend much time in such thoughts you get drawn into overthinking which can lead to depression. In my opinion the best thing to do is to try to contact them if they haven't ghosted you already. If they reply to your call or messages, fix a meeting with them and tell them there's one last thing you'd like to discuss with them. If the meeting is agreed upon, meet with them and ask them why they did what they did..get to hear their side of the story, from there you would know why it all happened and know steps to take. I know this seems kinda unwise but I figured that uncertainty is one of the reasons of sinking into depression due to betrayals. You bother your precious brain with questions like, "why did they do this?" "Did they even love me from the beginning or were they just using me?" and things like that. All these questions can do serious damage to your self-esteem and you'd end up thinking you're not enough for them nor for anybody. Be careful, before doing this, make sure you've overcome the stages of overwhelming emotions as it can end up messing up the conversation that you might regret not having.

What if they aren't picking my calls or decide never to meet again?

If this is the case, leave them alone. I think by now you've had enough answers about their intentions from the start. Allow yourself to grieve for as long as required. Allow yourself to feel all pain so that you won't have to feel them again when you finally get back up on your feet, unexpressed pain is sure to come back sooner or later to mess things up. Dealing with betrayal is a difficult thing but with the right approach and loving and supporting people around us, it is much easier.

Do not hold any resentment or hatred towards those who betrayed you in the past, don't even expect "karma" to deal with them. Just wish them all the best and move on with your life. Betrayal isn't always a bad thing, it can be a means to becoming better as grief has a healing effect on a scorched soul.

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Thank you for reading πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–

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2 years ago

Comments

Our default reaction to betrayal is feeling hurt and resentful. But as you said, let's allow ourselves to grieve and then rise back up, shake off the pain, let go. It may not be easy but it's the only way to move forward lightly and without emotional burden.

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2 years ago

That's true farmgirl. " We should always come out stronger and reborn with every challenge". Thanks for dropping by

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2 years ago

Yes, B. That's what we should always do. With every fall, we rise back up stronger.

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2 years ago

I always try to follow my own rules. Because its my life so rules is mine.

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2 years ago

It's tough moving on but we really have to. If others don't want anything to do with us, then it's their problem anymore not yours. I know it's easier said than done to not think about the whys of things but you have trust yourself more and love yourself more so you can move on. Don't let others rule your life.

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2 years ago

You have said in the best way sir. If we could always love ourselves and maintain your worth despite how difficult the setback or betrayal is, we would definitely find out that things are not always as bad as it seems. There's always a way. There always will.

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2 years ago

Don't resent anyone, and don't expect something of like manner to happen to them. Just move on with your life. That hits a lot...

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2 years ago

You are right dear. Every thing surely happens for a reason and we all would get a second chance

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2 years ago

This is why a lot of people slip into depression because they don't know who to trust anymore after they have been betrayed by those closest to them. It's a terrible feeling to have when you just don't know who to open up to or trust.

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2 years ago

I agree with you sir. Such periods could be really trying and one might think that the whole world is against them.

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2 years ago

Absolutely, dear.

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2 years ago

Hmm Betrayals! Last year around June i was betrayed by someone very close to me, it really hurt me, i felt the pains to my bones, depression took over me, it was as if i would die, because everyday i keep crying in my corners, numerous sleepless nights i had, thinking why she had done such to me. I didn't call her to ask why she did that oh, even till today i haven't called.

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2 years ago

It's really hard to deal with the betrayal from a loved and trusted person, but then, it's better to just grief and let go of such hurts... You're very right Bil, it's best for one to know the reason why one was betrayed, than asking sad rhetorical questions. After finding out, it's best to just grieve...

I have done that before too, when I was betrayed but then I also never forgave or forgot

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2 years ago

So sorry dear. May God always distance you from people who would want to take advantage of your kindness. Just know that who ever hurt a good person would definitely meet his/her somewhere in the future

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2 years ago

Your word hit my mind and heart at the same time, actually I have faced many betrayals and you are right the world is full of both bad and good peoples some leave good memories and happiness and some of them just come to teach us a beautiful lesson, I always sit and think why they have done so? Is it my fault? and I think I should move forward, should become logical instead of being more emotional .As you talked about friend I also experienced this cos a time come when your friends are also.tired of listening all your sorrows and betrayal experience so I think we should strengthen our relation with our creator Allah ,as he is the best friend who will never be tired of helping you and the other friend is pillow (lol). BTW sorry for the train like comment (haha) as it was much interesting article cos I got to learn much more

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2 years ago

I really appreciate your comment summy. Indeed it could betrayal could be very bitter. But trust in Allah to mend your broken heart. When someone hurt us ,it has already been destined to happened. And out Lord would definitely distance is from such individuals so that they don't get to do worse in the future

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2 years ago

It's funny that I have never felt betrayed or heartbroken and that's because I have never really given anybody the chance to do so, I tend not to get attached to anybody and I always think about the worst thing a person can do to me. You can't break the heart of a person that is expecting it πŸ˜‚

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2 years ago

interesting

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2 years ago

Lol.. I know your type. Everyone is your from and you are a friend to everyone. Whi ever betray you, na them lose no be you πŸ˜†

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2 years ago

Exactly πŸ˜‰

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2 years ago

And I love the last paragraph, "Betrayal isn't always a bad thing, it can be a means to becoming better person" It was betrayal that made me to pull of from Ponzi. I'm now a better person🧘

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2 years ago

Hehehe. You and this your Ponzi sef. Thank God you have learnt your lesson

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2 years ago

Hahaha. Mehn, it was a chronicle addiction to me. But thank God I'm freed

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2 years ago

I think moving on and letting God take care of things is the best reaction one can have towards betrayal because one might commit murder if he were to react the way he feels.

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2 years ago

That's true dear. It's more important to let go and for our own sanity and peace of mind. Time would definitely heal all things

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2 years ago

Heartbreak and betrayal have experienced in at least once in our life, we must let this period of betrayal go its way, suffer all its pains, allow ourselves to grieve and cry. We must meet them and ask them why. And then we must leave them alone, just wish them all the best, and move on with our life. How beautifully you said, grief has a healing effect on our scorched soul...

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2 years ago

Am glad you loved it dear Ellen. May the almighty always protect your heart from the scornful ones πŸ™

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2 years ago

Special guts is needed for such acts. Alhamdulilah I've that guts once a person betrayed me, afterwards I never feel like once I met someone. I think we have to learn self esteem, if one not want to be with you then what's the purpose behind crying, destroying oneself. Love your self that'll give you inner strength to deal with such morons.

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2 years ago

That's true Bibi. I also believe that "when one door closes, it's because a bigger one is about to open". May Allah always give us the best

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2 years ago

Dealing with heartbreak can be difficult though. E no easy

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2 years ago

E no easy o πŸ₯Ί

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2 years ago

Feeling of Betrayal is always hard to come out of it but with the right approach just as you have said, it is easier to come out of it and continue living our best life. It is good to have someone we can lean on during this time so that we don't hurt ourselves. Thanks for sharing.

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2 years ago

You are welcome princess

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2 years ago

Thank you so much for thisπŸ’―

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2 years ago

Glad you Loved it

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2 years ago