Do you defend yourself or report to your teacher

That evening I was on my way to the market and Aisha's mother was not feeling too well so she asked me to drop 13 year old Aisha to school.

It was actually a boarding school and the students were expected to be brought back to school by their guardians on a sunday evening. Lessons would begin in full swing the next monday morning.

The village where the school was located was about thirty minutes from our town. I helped Aisha packed her bags,foods and other provisions to the bus stop where we chartterd a tricycle that took us directly to the school. I would branch off at the market on my way back.

Aisha seemed quite happy at the beginning of our journey as I told her stories about my days in secondary school. Five minutes before we would arrive at her school, her eyes turned Misty and she started to shed tears. I felt sorry for her. I thought she was just being emotional about missing her family for some months. I merely smiled at her and pat her on the shoulder.

I became confused when she started crying profusely and her whole body quaked in agony. Now this was not normal at all. This was definitely not how girls cry whenever they are leaving home, not even on their wedding day. I didn't need an angel to reveal to me that something was seriously wrong .

Before I could ask her what the problem was , she blurted out : " aunty, I don't want to go back to this school!" She kept repeating this statement in a panic stricken tone as she clap her hands repeatedly against her thighs. From this hysterical behavior, one might think there were zombies waiting to eat her up as soon as walk through the gates. It took me about a minute to settle her.

Aisha had been a victim of severe bullying in her class and in the dorm. I felt very bad as I listened to all what she had been passing through and i also found it difficult to control my emotions. I asked her wether she had informed her mother about this and she said No. Infact during the holidays, Aisha was always looking happy that you would never suspect that she goes through hell in the hands of other girls.

I followed her into the school and demanded to speak with the principal or vice, but I was told by a cleaner that such issues are to be reported to the house mistresses. On our way to see the house mistress , Aisha told me that she had on several occasions reported the bullies to her but she never did anything about it. Infact, she would sometimes bark at her and tell her not to come over to her office to disturb her again.

By the time we got to the office, I was already boiling with rage. As I was explaining the situation to the middle aged woman, there was an unmistakable expression of indifference and boredom written all over her face and I found this very disgusting. She looked like a long-serving government worker who hated her job and couldn't wait to retire very soon. After the meeting, she promised she would look into the issue but I instinctively knew that nothing would be don about it.

As I was about leaving the school, Aisha started to cry again, and this time it was more heartbreaking. If she had been my sister or cousin, I would have told her:

"next time any one tries to bully you, bite deep and hard into one of her 👂 till her screams are heard outside the school and into the village. Let me and our mother handle the resulting backclash that follows. I promise you that the others will forever flee away from you afterwards"

Yea that was how angry I was. But I couldn't give her such an advice that was radical and politically incorrect, especially when she's not my blood relative. It seemed too inappropriate and her family wouldn't like it.

Don't blame me for talking this way. I have also been a victim of bullying while in junior high and I know exactly how it feels. I never told Mom about it but when I finally reported at home. I was told to strike back. My mother told me frankly that she would never come to school to fight my battles for me, even if other mothers were doing it. The earlier you learn to look after yourselfself in this wicked world, the easier your adult life would be. My elder sister would say. Parents who enrol their kids in judo and taekwando classes even before they become teenagers would understand what am talking about.

From experience, I believe that most of these bullies are mostly soft-headed but loudmouthed kids who use fear as a tool in making other kids believe that they are weaker. But if you could for once brave up for a showdown with your tormentor, your courage might shock them beyond their imagination and that might just be the end of your troubles, or atleast reduce bullying to the barest minimum. Sometimes, silence or ignoring is not the best option as your tormentor might derive satisfaction in your silent pains. And that might just be what she needs to make your life more miserable.

The day I stood up against my oppressors at school was the day my mental health and academic performance start to improve drastically. I was no longer having sleepless nights, I stopped experiencing anxieties on my way to school and my confidence in class improved dramatically.

I felt so sorry for Aisha due to the fact that she was a boarding student who would constantly be subjugated everyday and night to her bullies. Unlike a day-to-day student who would be free again when she returns home at noon.

I only told Aisha to see her bullies as insecure girls from dysfunctional homes who seek to find a flicker of happiness by causing pain to others even though they are passing through a greater hurt. We later prayed together, and prayed for the girls too. I took the initiative by looking for two big girls who were in their final class and told them about Aisha's issue. After giving them some money, they promised to look after her.

I also promised Aisha that I would talk to her parents and tell them all about it so that they would change her school. .....

That' was the least I could do for her. I'm quite sure that she would learn the rest as she grows into a woman, either through wisdom or through the hard way.

******************************

Thanks for reading. 🙏🙏