Choice. Or a reaction to your hobbies

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Good day dear readers of read.cash.    Today is my next article on a free theme.    This is a reflection on life, different situations and the like.

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Today I want to talk to you about a family topic. The topic of your choices or hobbies, how our relatives and friends feel about it. And let's look at your "choice" from different sides.

It often happens: the wife develops, but the husband does not. The wife goes to psychological training, works on herself, grows, while her environment, herself, and often her eating habits change. She becomes more ethical, humane, and, for example, becomes a vegetarian (she no longer wants to kill animals). Or understands all the harm of white bread and flour and sugar and tries to eliminate them from her diet, and so, the wife changes her eating habits and the husband doesn't want to !!!

She starts doing practices: yoga, qigong - and the husband makes fun of her !!!

Wife begins to improve the body, body, starving, organizing days of discharge, and the husband defiantly eats French fries and pork knuckle!!! Do these situations sound familiar?

Especially hard when there are children! There will be constant disagreements about feeding.

Why do people not have disagreements in the beginning and then later it escalates into an inability to get along together?

Is there a chance to live with different food disagreements, different views on parenting, tempering, early development? I want to discuss these issues from different perspectives, both husband and wife.

And so, let's look at the situation from the husband's point of view. Do you think the husband, when he married a certain woman with certain habits, did he expect her to change from a brunette to a blonde, to gain or lose twenty pounds, to criticize him for the way he has always lived - and generally to get into some kind of cult that also blows his mind? Purely your opinion I'm curious, how do you think the husband feels about this change in his wife? How does he feel? Come on, if you can, tell me in the comments how you think - from the husband's point of view. Answer options:

"Husband is in shock"-1

"Crazy"-2

"She's blabbering, she's crazy"-3 "I've got to get away from her"-4

"He should raise his standard of living"-5

Well, for those of you who think your husband owes someone something, I have some sad news. They didn't agree to this! Agree that when he took this woman to be his wife, he made an agreement with her that things would be as they were when they were dating. A normal sane man doesn't understand the humor that "we marry brides, but that was a totally different person" than the wife. He thought we were doing fine - and I was going to live like I was living. Basically, he hoped that his wife would not get into any sect of cheese-eaters, yogis, blessed, and other citizens. That it was a person close in outlook, in beliefs...

That is, the husband is deceived. The next point: the wife, not having any real measurable results (you just cannot measure, you cannot see the result, you cannot envy, you cannot admire and say: "Oh, cool, I also want so!"), she immediately starts to blow her husband's mind, so that he suddenly changes. Well, her husband thinks that she was lured into some kind of cult, obviously harmful to health, because his mother told him in childhood that he should eat meat, and the doctor says.

He doesn't believe it - and rightly so, since his wife has no proof! It would be one thing if she was a wreck, she would start to eat right, and she would feel great and get better. Then there would be a chance he would appreciate it. There are no real measurable results, but he is required to make himself feel bad. Because he's already feeling good now: he's eating pork knuckle and potatoes, and he feels good. And for what joy he has to eat grass - he does not understand.

My husband had no idea that this was possible. In this situation, we can only influence other people if they are jealous of our results and want to be like us, and the key word in this situation is "if. We can't make an impact on my husband by blowing his brains out, except that he will think of us as crazy, in a cult, stupid girl needs to be rescued. I can absolutely say that the complaint is to my husband: "You have to raise awareness",- it's the way to nowhere, it's the way to destroy the relationship, to destroy the marriage.

He doesn't owe you anything, he doesn't owe you anything and neither do you!!!

Well you got into any diet, any practice, any class, well then come up with an acceptable explanation so he doesn't freak out.

That's right, and not just my husband thinks so, but all the relatives around me!

That is, if you do any bullshit, make up that this is what the doctor recommended to you, prescribed, forbade. If you're on a diet because you have an ulcer, then it's clear: here's the prescription, here's the diagnosis, here's the ulcer, let him sit on his diet. And I, as a healthy person, will eat what I want. And if you're just blowing your brains out, because you haven't heard and read enough about it, but you haven't got a real result, then something is wrong with your head - "otherwise I'll die", yes, approximately like that.

So you need to separate your desire to eat a certain way, your desire to do some physical exercises like yoga and other meditations - and your claims to your husband. You have a right to eat as you want and to do any practices, your husband has a right not to do it - and he has a right to have an acceptable explanation of why you're living this way. And then, when he sees a really measurable result - not your fantasies: "Oh, I feel so good" - but a really measurable result. And then you look at photos of those who are on a diet, and there's a thin girl in her twenties, but she looks like she's in her fifties.

A separate story is that those who sit on a diet sharply change their usual diet, without taking into account the fact that they are in symbiosis with parasites, and from this sharp change parasites begin to multiply, and their waste products simply poison the body, and ruin it. And the brilliant idea of cleansing and checks, of course, rarely goes to anyone's head there. There is a separate sad story with these sects, but most "dieters" look older than their years, they have worse skin, hair, nails ... In general, everything is very, very sad and sad, if judged by the results in terms of quality of appearance - quite justifiably their husbands think it is stupid. Because the results are a clear deterioration in appearance and health.

Further-if what you're doing really benefits you, brings measurable results, and your husband wants to have measurable results, then he may be interested and do something by your example, but not before. As long as there are no measurable results, as long as it's just wishful thinking, or you just feel better inside, but it doesn't manifest itself outwardly in anything, then your husband has every right not to believe it - and rightly so!

It's one thing if I say, for example, that I can do healing, but I don't back it up with anything, but it's another thing if I make a suit in half an hour. "Yeah, well, you really took your classes for a reason." Or when I stop blood in a couple of minutes, or when I take a child's fever or a sore throat. There you go, there's a problem - there's a measurable result👌

And that's when your life hobbies will bring measurable results, and your husband will want to have a measurable result, then he may be interested and do something by your example, but not before. As long as there are no measurable results, as long as it's just a passing off of what is desired, or you just feel better inside, but it does not manifest itself outwardly in anything, then your husband has every right not to believe in it - and rightly so!

"Yes, you're right.  So what do we do when husbands change?"

As I said before, if we take the elevator from the first floor to the hundredth floor, we don't have to go all forty floors with one person, someone needs to get out early, someone will get in next. With any person in our lives, we're temporary. And maybe people go in different directions, you know, like a train track can go - one to the right, one to the left, and they go apart. And there's nothing you can do about it. You just have to accept that this person is all, some task in your life has already completed and gone, and the next one will come.

I am an advocate of not terrorizing my husband with my hobbies, but to show him real measurable results, repeatedly confirmed. If there was an ulcer, there is no ulcer. That is some understandable things.

The next point is about children:

Here we need to divide the zones of responsibility according to the principle: he who feeds, he who heals. Or who toughens, he heals. That is, there shouldn't be a situation where one deals with some nonsense and the other deals with the consequences. As soon as the consequences are on the one who is screwing up, the screws stop immediately.

As an example, the baby can't have sweets because he's allergic. As long as mom cures allergies, dad buys sweets - dad doesn't care. As soon as the baby moves in with Daddy for a month, and Daddy sees the allergy three days later, and realizes that he has to buy ointments and creams, to smear, to treat, to deal with, he won't buy any more sweets - because the consequences were on him, and he doesn't need them.

Here you have to be clear that whoever does something has to deal with the consequences.

If you refuse to treat your child, you close your eyes and don't look at what or who I feed. I will treat it.

That's the principle of agreement, who does something, takes responsibility for the consequences, and all actions to return them to normal condition.

Concerning nutrition for children - we need to be very careful with these experiments. It is one thing to definitely avoid unhealthy foods, and another thing to completely deprive a child of some chicken. I wouldn't risk it. I mean, I could eat only seafood myself, but still, when the child grows up, he will choose the diet he likes best. He will look at mom's results, look at dad's results, listen to both the first and the second, and he will choose himself!!!!! I personally would not risk testing an unconfirmed and unproven feeding technique on children, against the opinion of my husband, relatives, and doctors.

And at the end of all of this discussion, I want to conclude with a small conclusion: that we all have the right to choose what you like, but this "like" should not be imposed on anyone. Not your husband, not your children, not your friends. Here the gift of persuasion does not work, you need real examples of what it "like" something useful to the other person. And maybe, but only maybe, he will take your side.

I wish you all the best, my dear ones, and mutual understanding

I thank God for his help in writing this article, and you, dear readers, praise him if your reading has been helpful to you.

I want to know your opinion.

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