I am at my grandmother's home. It's my grandmother's because grandpa died. My dad brought me and we went by train. I can keep the ticket because I won't go back home. A man-made a tiny hole in it which means we have paid and he saw me. If he really saw me I don't know. He is more interested in tickets. I like the things he has. If you do not have a ticket yet you can buy it in train.
As my dad left I brought him to the train station. It isn't that far but I had a hard time following him. He walked fast and didn't wait for me. I heard that song in my head, a song about a child saying "daddy don't walk so fast, walk a bit slower please, because I am tired..." The song keeps playing in my mind and I cannot change it like the record or the radio.
I don't know why he walked so fast but I do know he didn't wait for me and said anything to me except I was not allowed to cross the road. He did and I felt like crying. He told me to turn around and go back to my grandmother.
I am in bed now and still don't feel well. I have a weird feeling in my stomach and wait for the light on the ceiling. If there's a light a train passes by.
It's silent. I am not sure if my grandmother went to bed. I wait till it's morning. Perhaps she will tell me what to do if not I can read a book, my book.
Saturday
March 13, 2021
It's Sunday. I hear the church and can see people pass by. My grandmother didn't go to church so we both stayed home. She stood in front of the window and watched the people pass by. She pointed at someone and said he's her brother, the criminal they helped but he isn't grateful never was.
She listens to the radio after I had breakfast and next she drinks coffee and I have tea.
The rest of the day I didn't do much while she was knitting. I can not knit so I watched her and read in my book and her magazine. I do not like her magazine just the comic at the back.
She let me watch some television and that was my day. My grandmother doesn't talk much to me and she never asks how or what I am doing. She calls me if we eat, tells me to read the bible and I have to wash and pray before I go to bed.
Sunday
March 14, 2021
This morning my grandmother sent me to the bakery. They do not sell chocolate eggs or bunnies or cake bread only. I had to buy half of white bread, milkwhite she calls it. She never buys all those cookies and chocolates my mother buys so this baker is fine. Just bread is enough for her. I had to wait outside in line with other people. The bakery shop is very small.
My grandmother, she doesn't have much food or cleaning products in her house but she was there as the war started. Perhaps she isn't afraid for the next war and empty shops?
Her old friend is. The one she gives her pills to. She says she has everything hidden underneath her bed. I don't know how they met because that friend lives far away and my grandmother doesn't know how to drive a car.
Grandpa's car... It's still there. I saw it today as I went outside. It's a blue Mercedes and it's parked in the garage.
The factory is empty. How come no one is at work? The geese are still in the orchard. I saw them but there are only three.
The other shed is empty. Where are grandpa's animals? Did anyone take them?
Sometimes my grandmother gives me a chocolate bar. 'Verkade' it says. She buys a package of five small ones and we eat it while we drink tea at 4 p.m. not today but sometimes. It's the best chocolate there is.
Monday
March 15, 2021
There's a doll in the closet and there's a bear too. The bear isn't soft and smells weird as if there's hay inside. He isn't soft and nearly as tall as I am. I am not sure who's bear it is. He has to stay inside of the closet and I kept him company. We both sat in the dark with the doors closed. It's better in the dark because the doll is scary. The doll is porcelain and lays on a shelf above our head so bear and I sit still. If the doll falls and breaks I think my grandmother will be angry.
Tuesday
March 16, 2021
My aunt owns two cats and they walk on a leash. Now my grandmother has to take care of them too. She doesn't want cats, doesn't like animals. The cats are on the ceiling. It's where my grandpa's bike is and there are two rooms too. It's dark and I need to take four stairs to get there. My grandmother says I can bring them food and water and should keep the door closed. No cats in the house, not letting them escape is easier said than done. They are happy to see me and jump on me. They are sweet but I cannot remember their names. I feel itchy if I touch them.
Wednesday
March 17, 2021
My mouth hurts and grandmother says I have to put butter on it. Butter hurts and it feels dirty. I don't like butter it smells. I have bumps everywhere. Grandmother says these are carbuncles. Carbuncle sounds ugly and so is what I have. I keep bumping into the door and bed with it. It's painful and she doesn't tell me to put butter on it.
Thursday
March 18, 2021
I am still staying with my grandmother. I am sick and stay in bed. If I don't move I don't feel as much pain. I cannot go visit the cats.
I saw children in the garden aacrossthe street as I looked outside.
Friday
March 19, 2021
A kid's diary
I am sloppy
Why do adults behave like bullies?
No dirty laundry outside
If your parents don't want you
I look back into my childhood for few minutes after reading this❣️