Birthdays

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As a child, I never really felt happy if my birthday was coming up. I could only remember the date not my ages or the month and some children in my class bullied me because of it. I guess what was an important day for them was not to me. That's how it is in life we do not share the same experiences, feelings or values. Those children only found me interesting enough if a party was organized. A party where they were invited and in exchange for that promise I was allowed to show up at their party and bring them a present. Most of them were extremely spoiled bullies and I cannot say I ever felt comfortable or really welcome. It is what the life of an abused, molested and unwanted child looks like.

As a young child, I still had uncles, aunts, cousins and although we never really stayed in touch they showed up at birthdays and celebrations and so did we. At these parties, I never felt welcome either. I had to tiptoe and watch my behavior and... words, although most of the time children and adults were separated.

From the moment I had children, I celebrated their birthday. Presents, a cake with a candle(s), a card and they could choose what they like to eat. I decorated the house although the father called it nonsense and a waste of money (the child is too small to notice, blah blah). I kept celebrating because if you do not, you never will and the most important thing is a child feels it is wanted, it knows it's fine to be in the center of attention once a year. I do not want my children to feel as miserable as I did and still do after all these years of fights and being beaten up just before the party started. A party I was forced to like with people and cake I didn't like, covered with bruises and my presents thrown away by my mother.

My birthdays were never special. I never was the center of attention. There was never a surprise party and the only great gifts or gifts I like I receive from my children since they are older. It doesn't matter they cannot afford much. My parents never thought I was worthy enough, my ex never gave me anything but they all demanded expensive gifts from me. These days are over.

For a while, I took the children out to a good, real restaurant or we went on a short vacation. Just us, people who do care. I no longer see the need to beg people to visit us and waste money on them. Last year I had a contest on Steemit and gave bigger prizes. This year I do nothing. With closed borders, I can not be with all of my children and I couldn't celebrate one of my children's birthday either. Of course, the presents were given and we stay in touch but there's no option to eat cake together and spend some quality time. It feels bitter because it means I have to give up on a value important to me, to our small family.

This is my entry to the giveaway hosted by @Macronald in honor of the birthday of his two youngest siblings. I wish both a great birthday and above all a good health and live.

#kittywu #birthday #contest #freewrite

44
$ 2.98
$ 2.00 from @ananas
$ 0.72 from @TheRandomRewarder
$ 0.20 from @Macronald
+ 2

Comments

Pls support me. I am new here.

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4 years ago

Even if the birthday is not celebrated with much pomp, this day seems very new to you. On this day, my loved ones wish me in many ways. It feels so good when they remember such a beautiful day and suddenly tell me Wish.

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4 years ago

The day is not new to me. I know how people celebrate or can celebrate it but that was never the case in my childhood. Perhaps you can find the reasons why if you read some "kid's diaries" I posted in the community Diaries. It's good to read you have living people around you. 💕🍀

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4 years ago

When I was a kid, I used to eagerly wait for my birthday. But now the times have change, now I just want my birthday to get as much delayed as possible, since with every birthday, I am 1 year closer to death.

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4 years ago

From the moment you are born it is the countdown to death. You have no guarantee if it comes to how old you will be. You better enjoy now if you ask me. I do not mind getting older. Fewer expectations from the society it means to me. Thanks for your comment.

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4 years ago

That's alright, one of my elementary teachers once confused me on how to pronounce my own last name. Didn't get bullied over that, though, surprisingly.

To be separated from your family, or more specifically, the only people you have left in your life is bitter, indeed. Even if the borders were open, you're still in different countries and missing out on even the simplest of interactions and experiences together. Good thing the internet exists and is this developed, I suppose.

I don't have much Read cash, but have $2 for your upcoming birthday, so you can buy.. I don't know, 1/5th of a cake?

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4 years ago

Internet is a plus indeed. It makes life easier although it can't make up the being with the last persons you have. Let's hope within short or a few years max it all turns out be better.

Thank you for your generosity. I will think what to buy for that. Might be a box of chocolate instead. 💕🍀

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4 years ago

I only have a birthday party at the age of one as I can see in our family album. My parents always bring me to eat at a stall. Mee hun soup for my birthday. That is how I remember my parents. They always try to do their best even when they can't afford it just for the day.

Your children are really bless to have a mother that treat them way better than the way you yourself are raised.

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4 years ago

I answered you before and it was marked as spam by? I think what counts most is the memory or the feeling it was a great day. Your parents managed to do so. How special is that?

Soon it is my youngest's birthday. No party not even with the family (left) but I will see what I can do to give that special feeling. It shouldn't be a day totally ignored.

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4 years ago

It is one of my most happiest memory in my life until now. It's not fancy but they remember and spend time with us is what matters the most.

Who mark you as spam?

To be with the one I want to be with is a party for me.

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4 years ago

That is nice they took you out to eat at a stall. I try to remember the cakes, the visitors, the good vibe but there was nothing. The family came at first but they all hated each other. I think my mother didn't like my father's family. Perhaps because they knew her. I hope my children are happy with me. It can be worse but way better too.

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4 years ago

I believe that your children will be happy with you. I hope you have a better birthday now than before.

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4 years ago

My birthday is over already. I spent the day home alone. That was it.

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4 years ago

That is sad if it is me. I don't need a party but I will be happy to have my husband and daughter by my side on my birthday even if we are doing nothing.

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4 years ago

With your husband and child is a party too. You have no party if the day is ignored by everyone.

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4 years ago

That is true.

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4 years ago

This life story is sad. Where your parents didn't value you. Nor did they give you the importance that every child should have. They would have in mind the reason for not wanting a child from their womb. Thank God your children enjoy a loving, protective and accommodating mother on their birthday. And perhaps also in other cases. God bless you!!

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4 years ago

I guess you can not change how parents feel about you. Both found their own birthdays, happiness and goals in life more important.

You can not always protect your child. They spent many hours outside the house but I try and talk to them and listen to their worries, annoyments and take them seriously.

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4 years ago

It was not my mother's favorite. Only after I first graduated and then took it upon myself to take care of her whenever she needed medical attention. Only then did I become my mother's favorite.

It is the best we can do with our children. Let them know that their needs are heard and addressed.

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4 years ago

You became the favorite because of your profession or because you showed you are strong and able to make decisions?

I learned my children to talk from a young age. If not possible to leave me a letter or drawing. At times I found one on my pillow. As I figured out my son felt unhappy I told him to speak it out. He said he did not want to make me sad. I told him it's better to cry together than alone.

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4 years ago

With my profession I managed to show her that she would never be alone. That I would never let her feel alone the way I did when I was a child. He learned with my care that he would not lack anything I could offer him.

He realized that despite my rebellions because of my character, my feelings rule me.

What you say to your son was beautiful. I immediately felt it in my heart. You are a great mother. I love you so much.

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4 years ago

SirPotato likes birthday becouse at this time birthday cake can be eaten and thats what lil potatos really like, thank you

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4 years ago

I think you have a good point there although one can eat cake everyday. 😁

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4 years ago

white cake covered with dark sweet chocolate, then covered with some fruits like strowbery or pineaple also blueberries can suit too, thats so sweet as sweet potato is, SirPotato awaiting his new birthday day that will be so yummy! thank you

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4 years ago

I like covered with marzipan, no alcohol. But the old fashioned whipped cream cake with strawberries and chocolates on top and around is fine too. 😄

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4 years ago

and red roses on top made from white chocolates just to increase the romantic time while eating it! marzipan has unique tasteand its hard to compare to other- thank you !

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4 years ago

But... White chocolate isn't chocolate and only tastes with rice crisps. 🤔 I go for the marzipan roses and you have the white choco ones. 💕

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4 years ago

its not for the taste is for the look only, humans also eating with eyes especialy when buying things in grocery stores. Adios amigos - SirPotato muchacho

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4 years ago

Same. I never felt excited about my birthdays but I love to do surprises for my friends and family members. I grew up in a family wherein birthdays are just like a normal day because we can't afford birthday cakes before. But when I finished college and had my first job, I see to it that there is always a birthday cake in every family member's birthday. well, except mine. I hate that one day celebrity feeling though.

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4 years ago

It is strange how hard it is to get over that feeling of "birthday" if there's nothing to celebrate. It might be hard to do it but I encourage to buy yourself a pie and candles and a present. Do your wish, those wishes you couldn't do in your childhood. I saved and still save a whole year to buy pie and a present. As a parent I know a whole year a birthday is coming up and this means I have 364 days to save.

I hope someone else will pamper you too. If not on your birthday pick a different day. 💕

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4 years ago

Well, my friends do that. It is just that refused to be pampered lol I always block them on social media on my birth day and talk to them the next day.

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4 years ago

That is something you can do or not visiting Facebook that day or use a different birthday 😁

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4 years ago

haha yes, some people do that. but I prefer to hide and get back as if nothing happens lol

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4 years ago

If that works for you it's an option too.

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4 years ago

I am sorry that your childhood was not happy, it is good that you celebrate their birthdays for your children, when they are small children are very happy with their cake, it is an illusion for them, parents if they have money should celebrate their day.

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4 years ago

Children arehappy with the smallest gestures. A cake, candles, a card or poem... eating something they like to eat. All small things which you can make yourself but does make one feel special and that's what counts. 💕

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4 years ago

That's right, as long as the kids are fine, one will be.

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4 years ago

I do not enjoy celebrating my own birthdays although I like celebrating birthdays of very close friends and family in a small way. I like personal lunches and dinners but not one with banners and everyone crowding around to sing a birthday song. I always feel like I am giving them trouble to celebrate for me.

I hope you will get to be with your family soon to celebrate all the missed birthdays together. You can have a big, big celebration once all this settles or settles to a point that you can travel to meet.

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4 years ago

Any idea why you think it's a trouble to celebrate your birthday? Others mike like to pamper you too at times. We introduced buying a present for yourself a few times a year. It's a good way to learn to pamper yourself. 💕

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4 years ago

I don't know really. It feels like I am troubling people or that I am troublesome for people to go out of their way for me. I prefer to be the one to be troubled. Yah, I have learnt to pamper myself too :)

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4 years ago

Just have a party for you alone and stop surprising those who do not care about you. It's not worth it and doesn't make one feel better. Perhaps you should ask why they do not the same for you. Can be it's a feeling or they think you don't like it?

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4 years ago

I actually tell them no need hahaa. But I also realise that for those who really want to celebrate for me, it would disappoint them. I would still have a super small celebration with close ones.

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4 years ago

Well, say this time coming up you want to. 🥳🍀

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4 years ago

This is Beautiful and impressive

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4 years ago

beautiful ..like it..

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4 years ago