My Wedding My Rules

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Avatar for tpkidkai
1 year ago

Currently, I am reading some of the posts from CFO PESO SENSE and there's a section wherein people are sending their stories anonymously since I try to stay away from commenting on the page I just decided to extend it on my blog post instead.

In a gist, the letter sender is asking if she will proceed with the wedding or not as their plan wasn't followed and each time that they will talk about it her fiancé' will have some issues as the soon-to-be husband's family want other stuff to be added, etc. You can find the whole story here and this is my take on the current situation.

It is your wedding and not theirs.

Some may find it offensive especially the relatives but since they are the ones that will get wed it will be better if they are able to set some rules and stuff to follow. I do remember the time when there was a "pagpupulong" prior to our wedding. The "pagpupulong" was a part of the tradition wherein both parties involved will see each other and meet and talk about the wedding proper etc.

When the elders met, my family and my wife just lay down what our plans are. We talked about getting married on the 29th of February and the location to where it will happen. In most cases, this is where the families will clash with each other as they have some rules and expectations that want to happen but we did not allow them to give suggestions. Technically we just answered some of the questions that they have in mind like why it is the 29th, if my fiancee is pregnant and where we will be getting the funds.

In some parts of the country, it is the man's family that will be shouldering everything in the financial side, i believe that this belief isn't feasible for everyone thus when my wife talked it over to everyone we informed them that we are saving for this big day. Both of us are separating some of our monies to secure everything.

If you want to get married, whatever the circumstances you will still get wed.

This is the predicament for some, if other family members don't agree on the terms the event can be postponed or delayed. I believe that honoring parents is one of the key things that we should follow. However, when it comes to marriage it will be the decision of the two people that will get married. Exemption if you are not yet 23 as there's consent needed from the parents before doing such action.

Making decisions is one way to determine if you can handle married life. If either one of you can be swayed by the provocation from relatives it isn't a good sign as people may find it easier for you to be controlled.

Another story was when a relative of mine ( that never got married) shared what they she wants to happen and expecting some bands, flowers, and programs with the reception given the target budget that we have.

Since they know how I speak I told her "Ate kasal po namin ito, hindi dream wedding mo po" and yes she stopped speaking after.

If you do not have any plans, they will plan it for you.

Never, ever say that you do not have any plans, etc. when you are stating about the wedding as some people will feed you will every idea that they can imagine to better the ceremony. They will also plan about the date where you should get wed and the location.

Message for a young man planning to get married someday:

Save up for your marriage while you are still young it helps! You may not be able to give a grand wedding to her just like the celebrities but saving money can help you leverage what your plans are. Also, it is okay not to shoulder everything ask for your fiancee and set realistic goals that can be achieved. Wedding is just 1 day prepare for the married life as it will be for a lifetime and lastly do not create debts.

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$ 2.91
$ 2.69 from @TheRandomRewarder
$ 0.05 from @Alther
$ 0.05 from @Ruffa
+ 5
Avatar for tpkidkai
1 year ago

Comments

We call that pagpupulong as pamalaye in Bisaya. Since the wedding is for a certain couple, the rules should be really coming from them. All the other people can do specifically the relatives or friends is to support by giving advices or suggestions. It is a once in a lifetime occasion for the two thus, why rob such chance for them right?

$ 0.02
1 year ago

pamalaye

I learn a new word thanks!

Suggestions are good but implying them isn't. I do remember some said" Ito ang gusto ko" and "parang lugi naman kami" when we attended other pamalaye. ( It didn't happen to mine as I have a strong personality and naysayers are not allowed )

$ 0.01
1 year ago

Wow that was awesome. I salute you po.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

You are right, allowing everyone make a decision for you concerning your big day will ruin it for you. Rather take decisions with your partner, decide how the wedding will go and watch it succeed. We don't need to allow people decide for us

$ 0.02
1 year ago

Ayts true to that, wedding days will never be perfect there will be some mishaps along the way like the cake, food, videos and all. But as long as the bride and groom decided on it, there's no one to blame if it isn't as perfect.

Sometimes the people who are not invited are the ones who say a lot.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

I remember something like this. Yung iba mema lang talaga because they are jealous siguro. They say bad things about the couple. I think weddings are one of the most beautiful events and it should be celebrated with love.

$ 0.02
1 year ago

Ayun na nga, minsan the frustrations that they had with their own wedding or dream wedding hindi na a apply.

What is important is the two couple got wed and both the groom and the bride agreed to it. Kakasad lang minsan na ang dami talaga epal.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Hindi namna po maiiwasan na medyo may conflict about sa wedding plans. Lalo na kung hindi favor ang plan ang ibang family members. Hays.

$ 0.02
1 year ago

Nako Denn mag prepare ka na. Haha madalas ang maraming nasasabi ay yung pamilya ng babae pag ikakasal sa set-up ng pamumuhay natin sa Pinas.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

We should have our plans. We should not allow relatives to decide for us. Besides, the money will be paid by you.

$ 0.02
1 year ago

PREACHHH! Exactly, they may give some funds as a gift but that doesn't mean that they can control the whole wedding proper itself.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

marriage is a lifetime commitment and sabi nga po nila ang kasal mas intimate mas maganda. hindi na need ng grand wedding kung mag hihiwalay rin after several years.

$ 0.02
1 year ago

May iba nga umiyak pa at engrande hahah showbiz yan.

True to that kaya Dennis prepare for the married life but not the wedding proper.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

That's why dapat firm ang decision ng magpapakasal before ilatag sa mga kapamilya. Ready dapat in all aspects. I do agree with you na kapag nasway sa maliit na bagay, may possibility na macontrol sila sa married life.

$ 0.02
1 year ago

Oo nako may iba talaga na sobrang controlling kaya kailangan di mabibigyan ng chance na mag maneobra sa kasal. Dapat yung dalawa lang ang mag plan.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Meron kasi talagang ibang kapamilya na kapag nilatag ung gusto nila ee gusto gagawin. Ang mahirap dito u g family kasi ang gagastos kaya wala kang k na humindi. Kaya dapat talaga pag papakasal mag ipon at yong couple ang gumastos. If gusto tumulong nong iba then go, pero the decision is dapat sa couple pa rin. Kaya ang daming wife or husbanda jan na di mga kasundo ang manugang kasi ganyan aguyyy

$ 0.00
1 year ago

True to that ang iba kaso kamo nakapag bigay ng tulong gusto sila na ang masusunod.

When we counsel a friend of ours na balak magpa kasal sa province he was asked to provide everything bayad sa simbahan food etc. Kasi daw babae yung sa kabilang panig at mawawalan daw sila.

Ayun hanggang ngayon di parin makapag plan magpakasal and medyo on the rocks na. May anak na sila now, pero ayaw parin i let go ng parents 😅 pakasalan muna daw sa simbahan.

Jusme pwede naman sa huwes muna. Pang diapers at gatas muna ang unahin bago ang grand wedding.

$ 0.00
1 year ago