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Written by   388
1 month ago
Topics: Poem, Feelings, Emotions

May 18, 2022

So much on my mind that whenever I laugh for a minute it then fades away
How did I become like this, what has happened to me that I became this wary?
Is it because life has never been good the way I wanted and planned it to be?
Or I just become dumb and didn't even notice that something changed in me.

Numb, I became like this out of pain and fear
Uttered useless words that I mustered in the dark
Making excuses like I am living with it all these years
Becoming one of the follower of the dark, hah

But wait, is this really who I am?
Is this what I really wanted from the start?
Am I swimming in the pool of guilt and anger?
Or am I just fooling myself to be one?

Should I end it to not feel the pain?
Or should I endure because I need to live for them?
Can I muster the courage to pull that knife off?
Should I hang myself or be puppet for life?

"Rise up child" you say like you know me
"I give up" as my respond and I received a slap
"You don't know what you're doing" oh really,and now you butting in
"So do you?" and you point your finger on me, foul

Now they leave, I should be happy I'm free to die
But my head says "What will my mother feel?"
Oh crap I forgot I'm a child of a most loving woman in the world
Guess I just need to hold on a bit longer for her

Mother, I'm sorry for being a pain in the ass
Guess this child of yours will be useless for life
I hope you can still stand it for as long as you can
Cause this child of yours honestly feels tired


This has been on my mind the whole day for I don't know the reason why these words came just like that. I wrote it on my notes but I am not really thinking of a specific person on this. Or am I? The songs might not fit but it just came to my mind to just put it on while reading the poem hehe. And I can't find a perfect title for this, sorry for the mess

Hahahaha..

My apologies for this article of mine. Those words just triggered me. Maybe the result of reading a lot of sad series where the people opted to leave a weak and weird people just because no one understands them. Or maybe I am sympathizing a certain person or even myself. I really don't know.

One thing I can say, try to talk to people you know if they're doing fine. I know you've been hearing this sentence a lot as I am too. Easy said than done but really, you'll never know if you don't try. A simple "Hello, how are you?" "Man, it's been too long what's up". It may be just a simple words but it can mean everything to them.


And before I forgot , thank you for the constant support and trust mate @Lucifer01

Thank you for reading!

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Avatar for mommykim
Written by   388
1 month ago
Topics: Poem, Feelings, Emotions
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Comments

The poem of yours sounds really sad po. Whatever you're going through right now mommykim just be strong po. And maybe na-influenced nga lang po kayo siguro ng mga sad story na binabasa nyo kaya bigla po pumasok yang mga words na yan into your mind po.

$ 0.01
1 month ago

i did both baby ang ma influenced nang binsabasa at sa experience na din

$ 0.00
1 month ago

Aww sana po maging okay na po kayo at ng family mo po. Tsaka maayos nyo na po sana yung mga problema nyo.

$ 0.00
1 month ago

Ayyy murag naguol na gikapoy na gi samokan haha! But, I love the poem and I like that song too!

$ 0.00
1 month ago

May hugot ba sis? hehe. I hope things are well with you MommyK. Sending you some warm hugs from the cold mountains of Luzon.

$ 0.02
1 month ago

awww thank you madam..I badly need one

$ 0.00
1 month ago

Cheers sis :) xoxoxo

$ 0.00
1 month ago

Very sad man ni nga poem mommykim.

$ 0.01
1 month ago

cge lang jud na gapuyo sa ako huna2 gahapon beb ay...ambot ug nganu...or maybe napuno nlang jud siguro sa ga struggles hahaha

$ 0.00
1 month ago

Mao, sakto lang pud nga ipagawas mommykim para dili mapundo sa dughan.

$ 0.00
1 month ago

Noooonabelssss, Kung ano ano tumatakbo sa isip mo. Andito lang kami kapag need mo ng kabardagulan 🥺🤗🤗🥰 u okay na?

$ 0.02
1 month ago

wala lang akong tulog pero okay pa ko...bato kaya to

$ 0.00
1 month ago

Epekto ni cgeh basa or cgeg tan-aw sad story mars hihi

$ 0.01
1 month ago

mao jud Pars haahahah

$ 0.00
1 month ago

So dark and deep and it's screams help and suicidal thoughts, but that person can't think to end his/her life because there's still people who love him/her. Hey mami that's one my comfy singer and I know that song po. Mga kanta talaga ni Linkin is one of my go to song when I'm feeling down.

$ 0.01
1 month ago

so someone actually understand my thoughts...thanks beb

$ 0.00
1 month ago

Bagay naman nung song. Pinapakinggan ko habang binabasa un poem hehe.

$ 0.02
1 month ago

Deep, sad, and suicidal... Hadlok man ni nga thoughts momsh hehe

$ 0.02
1 month ago

negative jud siay kaayo kog panghuna2 mamsh ...mao man na siya tanan ako nahuna2 an gahapon...ambot lang

$ 0.00
1 month ago

amsh ...mao man na siya tanan ako nahuna2 an gahapon...ambot lang

relax lang momsh.. tan aw kpop sa

$ 0.00
1 month ago

Mao na ako nafeel beb, kanang walay nakasabot nako. Di sayon pero giagwanta gusto nako mugive up pero di ko gusto mabungkag among pamilya

$ 0.01
1 month ago

samot na ug naa ka anak..lisod mo give up kung naa naka depende sa imoha

$ 0.00
1 month ago

mao lagi.pait ning natunong tas mali nga tao

$ 0.00
1 month ago

That's true, we shouldn't predict that people are doing fine because they act the way, some are just hiding pain behind the smile

$ 0.01
1 month ago

true and you can't even tell if they are doing fine because they laugh like there's no tomorrow

$ 0.00
1 month ago

indeed someone often considers himself useless after he is often hurt by other people, but in fact that person is very useful for others, for example, by telling us about our sadness, other people will realize that he is very lucky because his happiness as long as he has is not necessarily someone else have too.

$ 0.01
1 month ago

indeed we need people for encouragement to lift us up

$ 0.00
1 month ago