And now we're strangers...

August 12, 2021

After reading @bmjc98 article about her crush I thought what if I will write something about my crush too but the question is, who? Who among my crushes back then will I be writing here about?(ang landi mo gurl hahahah) Well, there is this someone who was back then I considered as my SUPER CRUSH.

"Its amazing when strangers become friends, but it's sad when friends become strangers."

-Jeff Ervin Ramon

We met when we are still in our 4th grade. I felt so intimidated not just by him but with his fellow classmates too. We studied in the same school but they were from the 1st section. Students from the 1st section were perceived as rich, spoiled, and brilliant ones. It's like we were in our respective class because of our social status. So, if you're wondering why they are in my class it's because their adviser is always absent, as in all the time. There were only 3 section in 4th grade that time. The section one's adviser is nowhere to be found. The adviser in section two, well we can say that she's retarded and it was our adviser who we can call as "ok". Their parents decided to transfer their children in our class. That's when I started to admire him. You know that feeling that a new student is in your class or in your school you'll definitely admire them and I don't know why it's like that.

The other 2 new girls in our class were friendly. They were put in front of where I was seated so we became friends instantly. But him? Nah, I can't remember the time when we started talking but after a while we were able get along somehow. I also can't remember what was the reason of all the teasing that we got that year. Yes, we were teased not just by our classmates but our adviser also joined our classmate's childish act. And you know what's worst? Our parents knows about it and somehow my mother and his became friends. My entire year in 4th grade was like that. It just ended when school year ends.

Fifth grade. We're not classmates during that time. He was on the first section and I was on the 3rd. We never talked again. We never say hello to each other every time our path crossed. It's like we don't know each other. It's like our friendship while still in fourth grade doesn't exist. We are a complete stranger the entire fifth grade. It didn't bothered me at all. Fifth grade was so quick. When it was on I think 2 months before school year ends, my adviser chose me to run for a position in the student council together with my other classmate and I did. To my surprise, he was their too. He run for the highest position, the President, and I belong to his party as one of his Councilors. Luckily, we won.

Enrollment for sixth grade. My adviser in fifth grade told me that I should enroll in first section since I have a position in the student council. I was adamant at enrolling in other section at first but as a young student my teacher was able to convinced me. And yes, I enrolled in their class.

First day of school. I feel so nervous since I was not familiar with my new classmates and my financial and social status was far from them. Luckily, my friends when I was still in fourth grade was there. They welcomed me with open arms. Him? He's just there never minding me. As time goes by we were able to talk again and regain the friendship that we once had. The teasing started again. It's like they never forgot. I don't know why but we started to act as if we really like each other. I can still remember that we used to hold hands while walking back to our classroom from our office (Student Council has an office by the way) and our friends would tease us even more, and we're just there smiling.

Our situation while in fourth grade happened again. Our teacher also teased us and it didn't stopped there. She rearranged our seats. We were put beside our crushes. I think there are 5 pairs in our class who was in the same situation that we are. It was so awkward. He used to put his portfolio in between our chairs and I also put my bag to separate us. We never talked while in class but our teacher and classmates still teases us though. There are times that we're ok and there also times that we're not. Graduation came and we never talked again since then.

We parted ways though we live in the same municipality. Our school were rivals. Despite that there's this story about him that never left my mind. As what my friend says, he was playing "Pinoy Henyo" with his classmates and friends. It was his turn, I can't remember who or what is written in the paper that was put in his forehead for him to guess but it goes like this...

"My crush?"

"Yes. Yes.!"

And then, according to his friend he mentioned my name.

During that 4 years in highschool I think our path only crosses a couple of times. I was in my junior year when I run as a Vice-President for the Student Council and got that position. We went to their school together with my fellow officers. I don't remember what's the term but we need to elect some kind of officers. There are 3 high schools in our municipality and all the Student Council Officers are gathered in their school. As usual, being the brilliant him he was elected as their Student Council's President. As we arrived in the venue, I can see my classmates back in sixth grade greeting me and our President who is also my best friend and my classmate back then. We chatted with them while waiting for others to arrive. Then, he came together with his fellow officers too. I know some of them and exchanged some hello's and greetings but not with him. We never talked the entire meeting. Sometimes I would glance at him but I never saw him glancing back. He was just their sitting together with his girlfriend. I was there together with my boyfriend too.

The meeting ended and he got the top position, I know he'll be elected for that without a doubt. We exchanged congratulations and such. I'm very attentive with my surroundings that I was able to hear my ex-classmates talking with their friends about the other officers and they would refer me as "His crush". Years already passed and it's like it's still so fresh for them, for the people that surrounds us. While me and him? We're like strangers and we don't know each other completely.

After I graduated in highschool, somehow I landed a job in their business. I rarely see him coz his studying but when his around, we never talked. I don't know why we became like that. Yes, I used to have feelings for him for so many years but I feel sorry that we became like this. It's our friendship that I feel sorry about or maybe he never really considered me as his friend.

We used to laughed together, eat our snacks together, play together and now we're strangers. A complete stranger.

To him,

Thank you for the friendship that we once had. I treasure everything about it even the awkward moments. Thank you for making my elementary days unforgettable. That was so cliche but it made my young heart flutter. We might never talk again in this lifetime but I'll never forget you. Take care always and God bless you and your family.