Who has never felt lonely? I really don't know where I will get to while writing this post but I assure you that I’ll write what is inside my heart.
Many years ago I felt loneliness as something sad, I felt trapped inside myself with no one to tell why I was lonely. I was accompanied and yet inside I could not find company to fill that empty feeling.
I love being alone, I enjoy being alone, but I also enjoy company. What I mean is that I felt for so many years alone that it became part of me but in my loneliness I didn't feel terrible, rather, I took advantage of my escapes from the world to isolate myself in my fantasies.
I can say that I find more companionship in my solitude than when I meet people. Especially when I am in crowds, I don't enjoy them. I learned to respect my solitude so much that in my moments of much companionship it was difficult for me to endure it for a long time.
Of course it also depends on how much of a crowd I’m talking about. If I share with peers or family members it's not something I can't say I won’t feel good about, but as the hours go by I have to find a way to step away and find my balance again in my lone moments.
I think it's all rooted in how I learned to live in the moment. At home we spent more time with our parents and siblings than with any other group of people, and so I got used to the fact that I liked to be more in the peace and quiet of my home than in the grouping of a crowd.
Sometimes I couldn't stand being in unfamiliar groups and with people looking at me as if scrutinizing my life and then having to endure the regular questions needed to socialize.
I mean, this is not my specialty and I don't like meeting people just because I avoid this moment of having to go through an inquisitive social interrogation... I can't stand it, I prefer to go unnoticed than to have to go through a social interrogation.
It's different when everyone already knows me. I like groups of family and friends and I share with them, but I get tired of this very quickly.
I remember in my youth I used to be very daring and nothing mattered to me. I dared to do everything. But life takes so many turns that I do not realize when I preferred to be with my usual tranquility and not in gatherings for many hours.
Some people think that loneliness is a bad counselor but I think it all depends on what your solitude is like. I love it because I find my peace, tranquility and balance in it. In it I immerse myself in prayer when I want to meet my God.
In my solitude I find my memories, which for me are the pleasant memories that comfort my life.
There will be other people who will seek solitude to feel regrets, feelings of guilt or pain or any excuse to feel bad about the situation they are in or the one they once lived.
For me, as I wrote above, this is the excellent opportunity to maximize my emotion for life. To feel that life has given me so much, to write my thoughts, to write my posts, to read the posts of the people I love to read on this platform, to write about my life, my thoughts, my travels, my experiences… and so on, to do what I love the most and that is to be with me.
I dare to think that loneliness is not the same for everyone, everyone has their own way of integrating into it, maybe for short periods of time or perhaps for a longer time like me, or maybe they do it halfways, not so little and not so much.
Be that as it may, it’s my wish that they do not see loneliness as a punishment or a sign of helplessness, or that they look at it with melancholy. If you give the right value to this period of time you will come to enjoy it as much or much more than I do, more than what is already an enjoyment for me.
Tell me, what is it like for you to be alone? I didn't think I would write so much about this subject. But, as you can see I went on and on and I hope you enjoyed it.
I am same as you Gertu. I love being alone too. I can then just sit and enjoy those moments, when I have time for myself. It's maybe because I am introvert, but I am ok being in company too, but I only feel good, if I know them well.