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5 signs that my life is better than before

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Avatar for fantagira
Written by Β Β 332
2 months ago

Thursday, 24th of November 2022

A while ago I read an article by @bmjc98 , where she listed a few signs of how her life improved with time. I have a tendency to save these articles for weeks or months, until the time when I have more time to write. That happened while I was on holiday and my parents took care of all my daily needs. It was a great time for me to write more and I even managed to save a few drafts.

Without any further ado, let's list the signs that show how my life has improved over the years:

  1. I like going to work!

Seriously - that's a new one for me. I might not enjoy getting up at 6am to go there, but it's not a disaster either. Even if it does happen that I oversleep, nobody is giving me a headache about it. I just text my boss to make him aware and get there asap. That makes me feel at ease, which is an important factor of why I like going to work. They might have a joke here or there about it, but it's just not a big deal. I like that a lot.

The main reason why I like going to work though is that I feel appreciated. The company I work for is small and operates on outdated rules. I love that (almost) every effort I make to bring the standards up is met with appreciation. Of course there is an exception to every rule and always a few people resistant to change, but majority of my co-workers already understood the importance of improvements I am trying to make and welcome the change.

I also get invited to more meetings and discussions and even the owner of our company comes to my office for a catch up on a regular basis. That makes me feel like a valued addition to the company. Nice atmosphere and appreciation is all I ever wanted.

  1. I have a car!

Back in a day when I was a child my parents never had a car. We would walk and carry heavy bags of shopping back home. Not that it was a problem, we just did shopping more often and buy less. I was also a frequent user of public transport. I knew timetable by heart. From my windows on the first floor I could watch my neighbours changing cars and I always saw it as a sign that they're do well in life.

Contrary to my college friend, who got her driving licence as soon as her age allowed her to pass the exam, I took extra few years and only passed my test when I was 21. My then boyfriend got his first car and taught me how to drive on some empty carparks. I felt the drill of driving for the first time and I still love it now. I must admit I was much more fit before I had a car though!

These days in developed countries having a car is no longer a sign of luxury. Almost everyone I know has at least one car in their household. Having salsa as my top hobby would be tricky without a car. I often travel for hours to get to a salsa party. Going to work would be an absolute nightmare. I would either be limited by the distance I can travel by a public transport or be on a mercy of someone to give me a lift to work. Having a car is an absolute must for me these days.

Although times are constantly changing and these days travelling to London is extremely expensive. For that reason I had to learn to use a public transport in England. In my old age... πŸ˜…

  1. I am happy with my work-life balance

I know I talked a lot about it, but I am really satisfied with my work-life balance these days. Working 4 days a week used to be a luxury I either couldn't afford or one that was unthinkable in the world of engineering. Covid and Brexit have changed a lot and not only for the worse. Many more people started working from home in covid times, which I think is brilliant for our environment as well as the change in employers behaviour. It's easier now to find work from home or work less days in the office. Brexit made many people leave UK and that in turn makes employers go extra mile to find suitable employees. Thanks to these circumstances I am finally able to have a 4-days working week and this has made a huge difference to my work-life balance.

I can enjoy a late night out at my favourite salsa school and have a lay-in on Friday morning. Any necessary appointments I can schedule for Fridays. Any shopping on laundry can happen on Friday too. Allotment work, long forest walks - there is time for everything. Or I can just sit on the stairs in front of my house and sip coffee while enjoying morning sun. No matter how I chose to spend my Friday, I still have Saturday and Sunday to rest before the start of a new working week. I absolutely love this. I also think that I am much more productive when I only spend 4 days at work rather than 5.

  1. I have a good relationship with my father

There was a time in my life when I stopped talking to my dad. It lasted a good few years. Truth be told, he was not a great dad when I was a child. He drunk a lot, never kept his promises, often got locked up in prison and in general was not someone I could look up to. My family was a family of black ships thanks to my dad's behaviour. I had to endure it while I still lived under his roof, but as soon as I saw an opportunity, I moved out of my parents place and never looked back. What broke the camel's back is when he got my brother in trouble. I cut all my contact with him and vowed to never forgive him for what he did to our family.

Years went by and I didn't even blink when he got cancer and never made an effort to visit him in a hospital or say a prayer for him. In my head he didn't deserve any interest from me and I seriously didn't care whether I see him again in my life.

His sickness and lonely days in hospital bed made him rethink his life I think. He stopped drinking and started looking after my mum. This earned him some brownies and slowly, but surely I started paying attention to his actions again. Apologies never interested me. Most likely thanks to him, who always cried and apologised, but never changed a thing. The best apology and the only one that counts is changed behaviour and when I noticed that, I didn't need any other apologies. With time our relationship improved and I realised that all the qualities that helped me most in life I inherited after him. Just his constant intoxication with alcohol made these qualities invisible for many long years.

When I am planning my next trip to Poland it's my dad that I call to organise everything. I can count on him to pick me up from the airport or to book all necessary appointments while I'm here. I never used to be able to rely on him in this way.

These days I live in peace, knowing that my mum has someone reliable to grow old with. I don't experience sleepless nights worrying about her and her wellbeing. That's a luxury I never experienced when I was younger.

  1. I care less what other people think of me

Or rather I don't give a s*** to be more precise, but hey, there is no need to be vulgar here πŸ˜‰ Caring less makes me happier!

When I was younger I took everything personally. If someone didn't like the colour of my t-shirt I would feel offended. If someone made a joke about me I would feel some kind of way too. These days other people's opinion matters less and less. That's all it is - an opinion. Everyone has their own and everyone loves to share them whether asked or not. Family and nosy neighbours are the masters of it. That's partly the reason why I love living abroad. I rarely talk to my neighbours and my family is far away. I come to visit them once a year and everyone is so happy to see me that I rarely hear their opinions. The religious part of my family might not like that I left my ex husband. Old friends and neighbours might have wondered why I don't have children or family of my own.

In truth it's none of anyone's business how I chose to live my life. There is ONE and only person that has been with me throughout my life, understands all the choices I've ever made and their opinion matters to me. That person is ME. Everyone else can have an opinion, but their opinion is none of my business ;)

Understanding this gave me peace and freedom to do anything that makes me happy. Isn't it what life is all about?

A version of this article was first posted HERE.

Until next time πŸ’™

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Written by Β Β 332
2 months ago
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Comments

I like the way how u made your aticle to make its give more interesting and i like the way u construct it and very informative as well

$ 0.01
2 months ago

Thank you very much for your kind words. I'm happy you enjoyed it. The numbers were supposed to go from 1 to 5 and in my draft that's how they look, but when I post it, they change to all 1's 🀣

$ 0.00
1 month ago

Indeed sounds like you are an improved person thanks for sharing so much. It's great to know you a little bit better. Glad your father changed and is reliable for both you and your mother. Working for a good employer often means that you are valued and appreciated. I too like to go to work:) Oh how times do change, what was a luxury of the past is now common today. It's just us who see it and realize this shouldn't be taken for granted. Also we come to a point where we have to be independent and yes we should be the drivers of our own lives. It really is no one's business on how we go about it.

$ 0.01
2 months ago

Thank you for stopping by and reading me, my friend. With every next article we get to know each person more and friendships naturally happen across the globe. Isn't it amazing? Yet another thing we never experienced as we were growing up. It's quite an experience to be living in this era of incredibly fast progress πŸ’™

$ 0.00
1 month ago

Yes it is amazing getting to know others from reading and writing. It is funny how this era is so fast paced with technology. Just yesterday I bought a new ride. I had to sit back and look at everything and I might actually have to read the owner's manual, haha. There's probably a you tube video on it though, I'm sure πŸ€£πŸ˜‚

$ 0.00
1 month ago

I'm glad hearing these things from you Monika. Yes we shouldn't mind what others said to us Monika. They are not helping at first.

$ 0.01
1 month ago

Some do, some don't, but nobody else knows us like we do ;)

$ 0.00
1 month ago

Yes true Monika.

$ 0.00
1 month ago

Thats great.

$ 0.00
2 months ago

You definitely have become a better person and that's commendable! I'm glad that you have worked things out with your dad. It's really about choosing to be the better person.

$ 0.01
2 months ago

Thanks Lee, it's a forever work in progress ;)

$ 0.00
1 month ago

I just got hit by one of your topic, when you have a good relationship with your dad, you still even recognize it good even though at the start he never been a good dad come up to a point you never give interest on him. God gave him second chance, realizing all the bad decisions he made through the cancer he experience, glad he changed, no apologies needed, action speaks louder than words.

but still, you are lucky to have a dad, I grew up without one.

$ 0.01
2 months ago

Ahh, bless you. I feel for you. I have a close friend who grew up without her mum, as she died when we were very young. It's very tough πŸ’™

$ 0.00
1 month ago

Its tough seeing your father enjoying with his new family

$ 0.00
1 month ago

I can only imagine x

$ 0.00
1 month ago

Wow absolute your life is better, first spending many hours in a job that we hate it's no good, so if you feel better there it's great also that you have a good balance in your life for going out and enjoying your dancing hobby. And the relationship with family always make us feel in peace somehow and happier. So congrats, I'm happy for you πŸ€—πŸ€—

$ 0.01
2 months ago

Yes, working with nice and appreciative people make a huge difference to the quality of my work. Thank you for stopping by my friend πŸ’™

$ 0.00
1 month ago

Having a good work-life balance is a dream which many people fail to achieve. Having a job you love doing is one of the ways of living a well fulfilled life that's free of regrets, and it's good to see that you have a good job and you work for a company that appreciates you, that's very rare to find these days

$ 0.01
2 months ago

I have already given up ever finding a work place that I would enjoy going to. I was really unhappy when I had to go back to full time employment, as my self employment didn't cover all my living cost, let alone having an entertaining life. I am so happy that I managed to find a nice job and being surrounded with many nice people πŸ’™

$ 0.00
1 month ago

These are really beautiful realisations Monika. I feel quite touched reading your post. I think it's beautiful to have these simple yet very vital things in life. You know your priorities and you are on the right track. You are living well.

$ 0.01
2 months ago

Thank you sis. It took quite a big chunk of my life and many difficult decisions to get where I am today. If you've met my 16 years old self you would not recognise me. If I told my 16 years old self I'll be divorced, without any children, yet happy my 16 years old would have a meltdown 🀣🀣🀣

$ 0.02
1 month ago

This is the beauty of maturity. My 16 year old self would melt down seeing me unmarried at my 32. My goal was to marry 30. Life has its own way of surprising us. And making us realise that sometimes plans don't work. πŸ˜‚ But it is quite a journey!

$ 0.01
1 month ago

It sure is! Sometimes the things we think we wanted we realise we don't need at all, while the things we didn't want actually make us happy. Life is so funny πŸ€£πŸ’™

$ 0.01
1 month ago

It's good that you have a better boss, I also have a new job, the truth is that the good has been more than the bad that has happened to me after starting it.

Your life carries your ink, you don't have to let anyone want to write in it, what a beautiful way of loving and respecting you you have

$ 0.01
2 months ago

That's well said. I usually use the same comparison to talk about relationships - if the good outweighs the bad, that's a win :)

Thank you so much for stopping by and reading me πŸ’™

$ 0.00
1 month ago

That is really cool, you are doing good and for sure your life will be much much better after a year a two. Having own car is already a big achievement OMG i am.so jealous 😭 but I am happy for you ✨🀩🀩

$ 0.01
2 months ago

Don't be jealous sis. If you really want a car you will have a car. I am 100% sure of it πŸ˜˜πŸ’™

$ 0.00
1 month ago

Yayyyy, I will grab it. SOON!

$ 0.00
1 month ago

Reading @Jane brought me to visit your post, how nice to see all that you have changed over time. Being a better person and a better human being is a wonderful thing. i think that no matter how old we are "every day is a start to grow".

$ 0.01
2 months ago

Thank you for stopping by :) We're forever a work in progress. There is always something to improve πŸ˜πŸ’™

$ 0.00
1 month ago

I enjoyed this post so much and I can see how you have taken note of how your life has improved till now. Having a car could be so easier to go wherever you want. I saw your car once and it's so cute.

I love that you reunited with your Dad after he changed. I really want my dad to change his bad behaviors too but he is not trying to change even after talking to him for years. I hope he does because it would be the best apology from him to all his children.

Things have definitely changed in my life today and I am so grateful to God.

$ 0.01
2 months ago

Thank you so much for stopping by Princess. I do love my car ;) He's already 10 years old, but it's as reliable as no other car has been for me in the past. The love of my life 😜🀣

To be honest I already lost my hope and will to ever repair my relationship with him. I also stopped caring about him altogether and talking for years. Talking never worked in the past, so I have just given up on him eventually. A lot had to happen for him to wake up and start trying, but I am so very happy that he did. We are so much alike, it's unreal.

Attitude of gratitude always πŸ’™

$ 0.00
2 months ago

This is one beautiful post FantagiraπŸ’– I'm happy you were able to reconcile with your father firstly...this made me feel sober and happy lol. Secondly, been appreciated at your place of work is something I cherish honestly... having good rapport with colleagues and boss is another thing. Thirdly, getting your car is another beautiful thing and exciting one after learning and earning experience with your boyfriend's.

I'm happy for you for we always go forward and never backwards...πŸ’―

$ 0.01
2 months ago

I am also very happy about repairing my relationship with my dad. I actually never thought this will happen after all he did in the past, but seeing how much he's trying now really softened my heart :)

Work appreciation is another one I almost gave up hope that it can ever happen πŸ’™

$ 0.00
2 months ago

it's beautiful...keep soaring higherπŸ’ͺ🏾

$ 0.00
2 months ago

I don't want to care also what others think about me, it adds more stress and we do not intend to explain everything.

$ 0.01
2 months ago

It takes a while to stop caring ;)

$ 0.00
2 months ago

Coincidentally, this is my topic today when I read your first post about it πŸ˜‚. I wrote this a few days ago.. But since I was busy today and haven't written anything for read, I'll post the draft later...haha

$ 0.01
2 months ago

Haha, it's all good Jane, the more the merrier :) We'll most likely spark another wave of this challenge for those who haven't done it before. That's why I love to keep these drafts for when most people already forgot all about them πŸ˜ŠπŸ’™

$ 0.00
2 months ago