This was one of the last words I made to the one guy who let me stay even though I already said my farewell.
This is an Axie Infinity-related article, so if this is not the kind of article you'd wish to read today, feel free to skip this one. There's nothing important here, anyway. It's just me sharing a little story of my struggles, my worries, and everything involves in my AxieBCH journey.
So I got my Axies on the 22nd of September. At first, everything was smooth. No pressure. Everything was just about having fun and getting to know our Axies. Days have passed and things started to change. It began when Coach Nazko started praising the top players and mentioning how we need to strive hard for the MMR aside from the daily quest.
The daily quest is totally fine with me, though. However, my performance at the arena is terrible. I win 1, I lose 2-3. The more I lose, the lower my MMR has become. This is the reason why I started to feel stress about the game. I was too focused on the MMR that I no longer find the game fun.
I struggle big time, and I believe I am the weakest player among the rest. I did my best, though. I watched tutorials and Coach's live stream. We even had one-on-one coaching for 30 minutes. Even @Glez's partner helped me and taught me the important things to ponder. Unfortunately, even with those efforts to learn, I still end up losing and my MMR keeps dropping.
If you've been my follower on noise.cash, I bet you already know my situation and how frustrated I was because of my MMR. So last night, I decided to end the misery. I messaged coach, and this was what I told him about:
coach
are you there?
I have something to tell you
I've been trying to grind in the arena and it seems like I'm still not doing well. I wanted the game but the game doesn't want me I guess. I know the strategy, I just didn't win a lot. I keep losing even after watching some tutorials. And I know the axies you let me play are of great value, and they deserve someone better that provides good income. So I've decided to turn over this so you could rehome this to someone better. I'm sorry, coach. I tried my best, but it seems like I'm just not good enough for this.
I will play the last game for tonight and you can take it back tomorrow. Or should I just wait to make it 2 weeks before I would turn over this?
I was ready to let go of my Axies. I knew they would kick me out, anyway. I wanted to stay, but I felt like I no longer belong there. So I sent him this chat so he could rehome the Axies to one of the newly hired scholars who deserves more than I do. However, I didn't expect he would respond to me the way he just said:
I can say you in short. We are satisfied with having you in AxieBCH. Both in-game and community and if you decide to stay we will be happy too . Grandpa wrote today in telegram that we have 18 players, 16 are doing good. You are among this 16 ! But if you want to quit for sure we will respect this.
There's more in this conversation but let's just focus on this part. It was really unexpected coz at the back of my head, I knew he would kick me out. I guess I overthink again. Lol. So after the conversation, I said my last message to him:
You have no idea how much you have made me very happy today, coach. I tried to avoid the scholar chat coz I feel like I don't belong here. Well, this just boosts my confidence and I'll do my best to make you proud one day. Thank you again, coach, for giving me the chance to learn Axie. Thank you, coach.
So happy that my AxieBCH journey continues. Now, I am more motivated to strive harder, and as PVM said to me, I should stop worrying so much and just enjoy the game. Well, now that everything is clear to me, I will just focus on improving myself. I may be the weakest player today, but hopefully, one day, I'll make him proud.
Closing thoughts
I was ready to let go but seems like fate is telling me to stay. I'm so relieved now. I can now enjoy the game again without too much pressure. I will do my best to make him proud.
To Coach Nazko, thank you for the opportunity, especially with your feedback. It does help me get through all these negatives thoughts I have in mind that I kept for days.
Also, to PVM for always being there to cheer me up and listen when I needed advice. I owe you big time.
To @Eybyoung, I really appreciate your support, too. Thank you for being there. One day, I will be as good as you, too.
To all my friends on both platforms, thank you for the support whenever I posted something about Axie, you guys were always there to cheer me up.
So my AxieBCH journey continues and will do my best to reach that 1000 MMR very soon.
You are lucky this community is very supportive and understanding. These are the kind of people I would want in my life. Keep going, you can do it. Maybe you just need some rest.