Being a person with a disability makes life 5x harder than you could imagine.
I was still a little kid when I learned that I was different from the rest of the kids in the neighborhood. At home, I never felt different; however, when I'm outside of my haven, I felt lost.
It wasn't easy to explore the outside world while the rest of humanity was staring at you like you were some kind of an alien. That feeling when you feel like you don't belong here. Those stares and how they talked about me made me wanted to be invisible. From early childhood years to being a grade school pupil and even up to college, all I ever wanted was to walk without people staring at me.
Obviously, I was also the most bullied person in the group. Some children used to call me names that really ruined my confidence. That's the reason why whenever I walk, I don't look into people's faces. I walked with my head down, so I don't have to deal with their stares and the way they talked about me.
Those were my early struggles. They were the reason why I'm an introverted person, but those sad and painful memories of my childhood years are also the reason I somehow become a stronger person. Not physically but emotionally and mentally.
So how did I bounce back or overcome those challenges I had back then?
I focused on my goal. During my early childhood years, due to constant bullying from classmates and even schoolmates, I almost wanted to quit school. I sometimes go home crying while my dad had to carry me coz at that time, I was not allowed yet to use my crutches at school. I told him everything, and my dad was just there patiently listening to my rants. Then he would console me and tell me things to help me calm myself. Then I'd end up realizing that I went to school to learn, not for them. And that's the time I mastered ignoring the world and just focus on my goal.
I talked to God. Since I can't walk on my own, most of the time, I was just in my seat while the rest of the kids were playing during recess. As a kid, I would just stare at them wishing to be normal just like them. I wanted to join them, play hide and seek, tug of war, and other children's games. But I can't, and so, to help me divert my attention, I would just talk to God and tell Him everything I wanted to say.
I tried to be a better version of myself. I was never a smart kid. I was a bit slow learner when I was in first grade, but I started to excel a little bit when I was in third grade. After my first medal, I got motivated and started studying more. I became studious when I was in high school. Even at the secondary level, I was still bullied by my classmates. So, I focused on improving myself to prove to them that I have a purpose on this Earth. I became an achiever during the 3rd and 4th year, and I made my parents so proud.
Made some real friends. When I was a kid, I only have a few friends, and they were so eager to play with me. They made me feel that I am no different from them. And despite all my bad memories, I love making friends. My childhood friends taught me how fun it was to have friends.
I got myself a dog. My dad brought home a puppy that I already mentioned in my previous article. Since that day, I instantly loved her and that's the day I realized that dogs are really special.
I wrote my dramas on a sheet of paper. Ohh, before I forgot, writing has been my only non-verbal friend. I would write down all my problems in a sheet of paper and throw it in the garbage, so no one would find out what was written.
I focused on the bright side. I learned that if you let the people control you, you won't be able to find real happiness in life. And so, I started to look the bright side no matter how dark and uncertain the situation is.
So yeah, these are the ways that helped me survive my early struggles in life. Today, I still apply these strategies, especially when I feel so down and hopeless. This is why when a friend told me about this platform, I signed up immediately coz I really wanted to blog my problems. Not to spread bad vibes, but to just to help me release all of the negativities in me.
This is for @Jane's sponsorship, which you may want to read the entire details here.
PS: was on tears while writing this.
The hardships in life are not a punishment from God. They are a test in life that we need to pass to help us become a better individual, to teach us a valuable lesson, and see the value of life.
They can also either make us or break us. The answer depends on how you cope up with your own struggles in life.
And it is also a test of your faith and loyalty to Him.
You may also want to read my other life stories:
**Used Unsplash for the lead image.
usually, humans that bully other humans mostly end as being selfish and alone in older life. well that is some kind of punishment from past - thnak you and as always stay positive with lovely and nice SirPotato that never lies, at least in his comment !