Challenge accepted

I was thinking whether or not I will share about it but because content is life, so now I am here. LOL. The reason why I did not want to spill it was because I might jinx it. You probably have an idea on what my topic would be based on my lead image and title.

We just started August last week and finally I had that will or drive or fire or motivation to think about myself and sort of my future. Well for my future, I did looked for jobs online but the problem is that I am still torn whether to pursue my career in the food service or restaurant industry or to just focus on my business which is also on food that I have put on hold for a couple of years. Both has its pros and cons however, a part of me wants to go back to working in the restaurant but thinking about the irate customers hinders me from doing so. A part of me also wants to focus on my business but because it is a small business, profit is not that good yet as I rarely get orders when I started it a few years back.

There were a lot of things that I consider when I was thinking about my future but I decided to prioritize first on my health and fitness. I do not know how many times I have mentioned here that I started my diet. That is the reason why I was a little hesitant to share it with all of you because I might jinx it. I remember early this year, I said that I cut back on some food and I had also started to walk everyday. It was not abrupt because I was thinking that my body needs to adjust from sedentary lifestyle to slightly active lifestyle. My goal during my first day of exercise back then was 3,000 steps and increased it to a thousand more each day. Although, after a few days, I was already feeling that my body was starting to ache so I took a rest. That rest took months and it is only now that I started with it again.

"I felt recharged and I was able to think more clearly about what really needs to be prioritized."

In my previous article, I said that and for some reasons I just wanted to bring back the old me or even the me 6 or 7 years ago. I wanted to see the glowing me, the motivated me and the happy me. I also wanted to fit in my clothes that I used to wear. Remember when we went to an event last month? I think I was wearing a 2L top. We bought that 2 years ago before the pandemic but during that time, I have accepted and embraced my body size so it wasn't really a problem. However, last month, when I was trying on some clothes on what to wear for the event, it suddenly struck me that I was really, really, really huge. Yes, I think I have made an article before about me being the Beauty and the Beast. I even uploaded a photo of me without a neck because I was already on the obese side. I'm not sure if iI had said it back then but I am hating how huge I have become.

In order for me to stop hating myself and complaining about how ugly, wide and huge I am, I decided to change and challenge myself. Good thing that a new month was about to start when I decided about prioritizing about my health and fitness. Am I being OC for wanting to start my fitness journey during the start of the month? LOL. Anyway, I just did slightly the same thing when I loss weight few years back. Small frequent meals, calorie deficit, chicken, egg, fish and vegetables. Although the only difference was that I was only limited to boiled chicken breast, egg and vegetables during my first few months before. I remember being teary-eyed whenever I would open my lunch box as my meal was so bland. But it was worth it...before. LOL.

For August this year, my diet is not as strict as to how it was before. What's even more challenging was that I was craving for pasta since last month. So during my 3rd, 4th and 6th day of diet, I cheated. LOL. I also cheated today as I really cannot control my pasta cravings. I hate it when I start to like or enjoy a food or a particular dish as it often lasts for weeks. But other than my not so strict diet with cheating on the side, I also started walking and exercising. I have not started with a light jog as I feel that my heart and lungs are not yet up for that. So my daily challenges are 10,000 steps or more a day, squats, planking, push ups and crunches.

I am planning to do this until I achieve my desired body size "again". I am not particular with weight as I know that muscles weigh more than fat. I just want a slimmer body and a healthier lifestyle again. *fingers crossed*

I must say that I deeply regret not starting my fitness journey during the pandemic. If only I had started it 2 years ago, maybe I am already slim now or maybe not. We never can tell. But at least I have started with it now than later right? I just really hope that I can do this whole-heartedly until I can say, "I love myself" or "you're so beautiful". *fingers crossed*

August 09, 2022

Lead image is a photo of my shoes.