When to let go of a relationship?

Blog 73-2nd
Date :May 03,2022
Time :2:10pm

Letting go of someone you love the most is the most painful thing to do. But sometimes we have to let go of them so we can have peace of mind and stop the pain we're feeling.

Changed

When that person you love tried to change you to be someone. They want you to be the person they want. I believe that if you really love that person you have to accept him/her.

Controlling

If that person will try to control everything you do, everything you said, what you eat, whom to talk to or mingle with, what to wear and where you go. I think being in a relationship should not be controlling as no one owns a person even if you are in a relationship or even a husband and wife. We have our freedom as long as we are not disrespecting the person we love.

I experience this kind of controlling person from my late ex-live-in partner. He use to control what to wear. I end up wearing his clothes. I don't really wear revealing clothes. He doesn't want me to talk to the opposite sex, I am not even allowed to tell my best friend about my problems. He wants me to eat more, I don't know what's his reason, I just guess that he wants me to get fat so no one will like me except him.

No trust

Trust is important in every relationship. When you don't trust your loved one then there's no peace in it.

When I was with my late live-in partner, he used to have trust issues with me. He always doubted my love for him. I tend to question myself if do I still need to prove my love for him? I choose him. I make him stay with me, I am the one who works for us. If I wanted to cheat on him then why I will waste my time and money on spending with him? He doesn't see all the effort that I've made. Unbearable jealousy is the main reason why I decided to end up my relationship with him. And also one of the reasons why he ends up his life.

Stress

When we are in a relationship we are supposed to be happy and enjoy every moment with our loved one but if that person is already toxic and causing so much stress then I guess it's time to let go. When I was with Michael (a late live-in partner) our relationship was a disaster. We always had fights. Every fight and misunderstandings end up hurting each other emotionally and physically. Yes, it was my first time being in a relationship where my limit was tested. He was the person who let my bad side out. Like I didn't know I was that bad when someone provoke me. I even hit him physically. I know I was wrong but due to too much anger, I can't control myself.

I came up with this topic after my sister-in-law messaged me yesterday afternoon. She's still young (20) but she ends up living with her boyfriend while studying. They've been in a relationship for 3 years I guess. Honestly, I don't like her boyfriend. He is a bad influence on my husband. He is a drug user. Their relationship was on and off due to her boyfriend's vices like drinking and using illegal drugs. He even hurt my sister-in-law physically. My sister-in-law told me that she's in pain right now because she broke up with her boyfriend. She wanted to help her boyfriend to change so they can be okay but the guy is not doing any effort to change. I am happy that she finally ended up her relationship with that guy. There's no point in staying in a toxic relationship. She's not happy anymore. She's been stressed throughout their relationship. I told her, yes she loves the guy but did she ever ask herself if is it worth it to fight? Is it all worth it for the sacrifices that she has made? I think she made the right decision, it's time for her to focus on her studies and give herself time to herself. She needs self-love. I just really hope that her ex won't pester her anymore, just like the last time when she initiated a break-up. He even let his parents talk to my father and mother-in-law. Honestly, in my own opinion and based on my observation, it was his parent's fault that their son grow up like that because they were too busy with their business.

Ending thoughts

All written above are just my opinions and based on my personal experience. If we are with the right person we can feel secure, we always have peace of mind, and we always feel love and care. We don't have to pretend. We just have to be ourselves.

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