I am not in love with my husband
Blog 68-17th
Date :April 28,2022
Time :2:06pmI know myself if I am in love. I will miss that person right away after we parted ways or just after we talk.
Doubts
I feel more at peace if my husband is not around. It's like I can be myself. If he goes somewhere, I am not worried about him but I tend to be suspicious. I've been thinking a lot of negative thoughts.
Trust
I have my reasons why I don't really trust him. When our relationship just started he had already broken the trust that has been given him. Knowing that we started our relationship, means our relationship still doesn't have a strong foundation. It was hard for me to trust him again because he did stupid things not only once but a lot of times already. He is just the one who gave me reasons not to trust him.
Favorite scent
However, if I am in love I love the scent of that person but with my husband, I don't like smelling him. He doesn't smell bad but I can smell the cigarette on his body. I don't even like kissing him and he knows the reason why I don't like kissing him and it's just okay with him. He prefers not to kiss me than to stop smoking. Weird right? When I am in love I love to ask for the used T-shirt of the one I love as I want to wear it so I can smell his scent.
Affection
When I am in love I love staring at that person especially when he is sleeping but with my husband, I stare at him thinking if do I really love him or if he really loves me? If I am in love I am being poetic and words would flow naturally from my heart without thinking. But with my husband, I can't think of any sweet words for him. All I can remember is the stupid things he did.
Glow
As they say, you will glow when you are in the right person. I guess I'm the wrong person because after I got married my whole lifestyle was changed. I don't like seeing myself in the mirror because I don't wanna see how haggard and stressful my face is now. Other people can tell if you are in love because it is very visible in your eyes and I believe that too. But for now, all you can see in my eyes is stress.
Happy
Before when I am in love seeing the person I love makes me feel happy. I always feel the butterfly in my stomach or what we call "kilig".
Peace and feel safe
being with someone you love makes you feel at peace and safe. You know that he will never do stupid things that will hurt you. You can feel that he can be trusted.
Respect
We know that when someone loves you they will show some respect. I do respect my husband but I don't feel that he does respect me.
Making love
Yes, making love is totally different from having s*x. I know my husband is just doing it out of lust and not for love. Of course, I can feel it.
Writers message
Whatever it is I know I can't be happy with my husband. When love is not around it's impossible to make our relationship stays longer. I don't know if it's my fault or it's just he doesn't show me enough love to make me feel love.? What do you think?
Photos used in this article are all owned by yours truly unless it is stated.
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You saod it all sis, ikaw ra maka discern sa imong feeling. I know mag stick paka sa iya para sa bata but... Ikaw nay sumpay,,