Fighting Against Postpartum Depression

Having a baby can bring different emotions especially to a first time mother. We can feel excitement and joy but we also feel fear and anxiety. But it can also result to something that we might not expect -deppression. It is mostly experienced to a new mom. According to Debra Fulghum Bruce, PhD, postpartum depression (PPD) is a complex mix of physical, emotional, and behavioral changes that happen in some women after giving birth.

Postpartum depression is not considered as character flaw or a weakness. This is just a product of giving birth. There are several signs of symptoms that a mother is experiencing from this postpartum depression. I will site some of those.

Intense irritability and anger

After I gave birth to my daughter, my emotions and attitude changed. I easily get irritated even in simple things and had short temper. I used to have long patience but now I easily get annoyed that becomes the reason of our fightings with my partner. Sometimes I can't control my anger that will lead me to throw things.

Fear that you're not a good mother

This is the feeling that I still have right now. I'm afraid I might not be a good mother to my daughter. Afraid that I can't be able to give all her needs. I have this fear that I might not perform my duties and responsibilities as a mother. When my daughter get sick, which is inevitable sometimes, I always asks myself what did I miss. And lastly, the fear that I can't give a bright future to my daughter.

Thoughts of harming yourself or your baby

Thank God I never thought of harming my baby. But harming myself, I thought of it multiple times. Every time that we had arguments with my partner, maybe out of anger, I harm myself. Sometimes, I banged my head against the wall, or slapped my own face, or pulled my own hair. The worst thing that I did in harming myself was I cut my legs with the nail clipper knife. Though the wound was not too deep but my partner was so afraid watching the blood that flows down on my legs.

Inability to sleep (insomnia) or sleeping too much

I already had insomnia even before I had a baby. But it gets worsened after I give birth. There were times that I can't have a sleep until morning even a little. I always rant to my partner about it. My eyebags were getting bigger and I had headaches.

Depressed mood or severe mood swings

Mood swings is identified as rapid changes in mood. I also experienced this one. I'm happy at one moment but after a few hours, my mood changed. My partner always complain this attitude of mine. But even me, I don't know why my mood changed easily. My mood is like a girl who always changed clothes.😁

Excessive crying

Since I became excessively sensitive, I easily cried even for a simple reason. There were also times that I can't hardly breathe because of crying. Watching sad videos made me cry too. One time, when Moira released her music video of Paubaya, I pathetically cried hard after watching. ( Parang nakarelate kahit hindi naman ).

CLOSING THOUGHT

Having this kind of depression is ponderous. It has complications if it is not treated. According to some medical experts, if postpartum left untreated, it can interfere with mother-child bonding and cause family problems. It also lasted for months or longer or sometimes become chronic depressive disorder if it remains untreated.

To those who suffers from postpartum depression, don't be ashamed. There are treatments for this. It is also good if you have someone to talk to ( a friend perhaps or your family ) to lighten what you feel. And as for me, I'm happy that I surpassed this depression ( thanks to my partner, friends and family ). The thing that I'm concerned about now is my excessive hair fall.

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Thank you for reading.😊

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