I am like Bobbie. I am strong but it's doesn't mean I don't have feelings.

Aug 9,2022

10:08 PM

Good evening everyone. Just finished watching the movie four sisters in a wedding for the third time around. Yes it's my third time to watch this movie but just this time I found myself crying because of the confrontation scene between the family.

This is belong to the scene that I make me cry.

This four sisters has a lot of misunderstanding because of lack of communication and as the time passes by their bonding as a sister started to have a gap. I was crying while Boobie was talking because she always misinterpret by her sisters but the truth is that she needs to be strong because she needs it.

Bobbie said the their mom has her favorites because that's what they saw but the truth is that the love of thier mother is the same , it's just the two of her siblings were weak that's why the attention of their mom are in them.

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My tears started to fall because I really felt the scene. I am the eldest daughter and my siblings always envious in me because they always said that I am the favorite but deep inside I never felt that I am the favorite.

They always said that I am the favorite because I am close with my father and I can make a discussion and argument with my father with confidence and they can't do that.

If only they knew. Every time I talk to Papa about our problems he always said that I am the eldest and I am the one who needs to sacrifice and understand things. Everytime I talk to Papa she always said that I can do it even if I want to say I cant do it anymore.

They are saying that I am the favorite but the truth is I don't know.

Sometimes I just want to be like them. And them to be like me so that they will know how I feel. It's really hard to pretend that your fine even if your not but you need too because they know you are.

I am like Bobbie. I am strong but it's doesn't mean I don't have feelings. I just to hide it because I don't want to bother anyone especially my father.

With all the problems that we are facing today , you all know that I still manage to face it on my own with my husband and don't bother them. Maybe they knew I don't have problems because I am not speaking it up but the truth is that Im really tired and I also need someone to lean on.

I never imagined that our family will be like this. A siblings that has misunderstanding and misinterpretation. A family that lacks of communication. A broken family that I never imagined. As much as I want to try things out I don't know how. It's really hard to live in a situation like this. If only they knew how I feel everyday.

It's just so sad.

Sorry for this rant and drama. It is not my intention to write this by my hands are already type it. Thank you for reading and thank you guys for being a part of my 2 years here as a virtual friends.

To my sister in-law @mhel_dita , since you already here. You can read my online diary and maybe you will understand my part. I am also thankful to you for all those conversations that we had. I appreciate it.

I will end it here.