Helluuuuu, homies! It's been a long time, how are you guys?? 2 days before Christmas in my country that's why I've decided to back and leave this message for myself, and for anyone.
This year's been a mix of everything-good, bad, and everything in between. It's been full of lessons | didn't ask for and moments I didn't expect. Some days felt like too much, like I was barely holding it together, and other days gave me just enough light to keep going. It's strange how a year can break you and build you back up all at once.
I've seen sides of myself I didn't know were there— some I'm proud of, others I'm still trying to figure out. But I'm still here, still standing, and maybe that's enough. This year's been rough, no doubt, but it's also been a reminder that no matter what, you keep going. You find something to hold on to, even when it's hard, and you will make it through.
It's okay if we all did this year was to survive. I'm so proud of how strong I am, how resilient, and how vulnerable at the same time. I'm so proud for how far I've come and I wish the same way to you. I'm begging you, keep holding a little more. We survived another year and I hope you will still choose to stay for welcoming another chapter that coming on our way. I love you ><
it's been so longgggg, how are you guys???
i received princess treatment from my classmates!!! i do really really love love love them
i loveeeeee lovee lovee my classmates. my circle and friends right now. i'm literally will cry after graduation. this will be the best memories, the best year, the best ever in my entire life. im praying that this friendship will never end coz fck, just me thinking that this circle will separate ways even we don't want to, it's a heartbreaking. i love them beyond my words (TT)
Love is the most beautiful thing
The unexplainable feelings seems unclear
But its profound meaning beyond understanding
Could i exist just a human being?
If life requires love to live
To be loved is to be known
To be loved is to heard and see
To be loved is to kiss your scars
To be loved makes you imperfectly
How fascinating love is?
When you are capable of loving
When you show the soft animal of your body
Since at the end of the day,
Maybe time will show how love prevails
i'm so overwhelmed of happiness and love. my Zarzuela fam makes me cry thinking that i only have limited time to make more memories with them. specially to my circle or syensya club who became my safe place. hindi ko na maexplain, yung malalakas na tawanan, kulitan, pagluluto at kain nang sama sama, pag gasta tuwing may nakikitang pagkain, pag sumbatan, pangbabarog, at lahat na ng kasiyahan ay never ko talaga makakalimutan. yung princes treatment, yung bawat saya na makikita sa mata ko at ngiti ibang iba. this will be the most memorable year of my life. buong buo nanaman ang puso ko dahil sa kanilang apat.
how does it feel to be a lover?
ang saya ng araw na to. yung bonding ko sa mga classmates is soooooo priceless. nag punta kami tanza just to help our co-officers in my club with their experiment, it end up that we healed our inner child. ang saya, ang sayang maging bata muli. wala kaming ginawa kungdi magtakbuhan, pumunta ng playground at naghabulan, puro tawanan at walang humpay na pagsasaya. sobrang mahal ko sila, for 1 year and half of the year, i couldn't imagine my life without them. they are my gems, my safe place and all. ngayon palang naiiyak at nalulungkot na ko kapag iniisip kong malapit na kami grumaduate, even na we have still 9 months to make more memories, naiiyak akong pakawalan sila isa-isa.
I'm physically tired and drained. i faced a lot of responsibilities as a student, child, and a leader. i wish that i would not go within my limits, and i hope that someday it will be worth it. at the end of the day, God has a plan for me.
i am not lucky in financial life as others, but i will never get tired of trying to achieve the life i want
i'm physically drained. today was the first day of classes in public schools, it's both enjoyable and exhausting. i enjoyed being with my classmates and i was so tired after my class. now, idk how i will survive this school year knowing the fact that i'm graduating and lots of responsibilities are waiting to me. here i am again, being selfless, a role model, a leader and a servant of my classmates. this will be a hell year for me again, but a bright future, unforgettable memories and experiences awaits me.
It's really hard at this time. My family and I were not safe in our place. My whole city suffers from the super typhoon named Carina, and subsequent floods due to the broken floodgate that remains unresol by the government. My home was flooded for 3 days :( and yesterday, signal and electricity were unavailable, unfortunately, some cities are still facing the same situation. It's so heartbreaking knowing the fact that we're not the only city that suffered from this disaster. There are children, pets, and people who died because of this calamity. We're just trying to survive. Seeing the videos and pictures of those people who are affected the most makes me sad. If only I had the money and privileges to help them, but I don't want to hide my hypocrisy because the truth is, I cannot even help my family at this moment. The least thing I can do is pray, and I hope you guys will do the same. Please, pray for us who have suffered and are still surviving :((
yesterday, i decided to risk my BCH savings even i'm aware that some
people here experiencing issue/error in regards with their withdrawal. now, i could say and inform all of you that some cryptocurrency are under maintenance, and i guess BCH is one of those selected currency, that's why we're experiencing this issue. i just read it and get it from my gcrypto wallet, informing me about this issue and same with all of you, i lost my $0.54 bch savings T--T
i'm so happy in my small accomplishment for this month. as what i've mentioned last week, i've been demotivated these past few days, this month became tough and hard for me to be productive. that's why it's an achievement for me to get back to the things that i used to do before. i miss my high energy, my humor, my happiness for the small things, and appreciation in everything. and now that i used it to get back, finally, i could say that my life is worth living again.
i just watched the pulang araw trailer by GMA, it gives me goosebumps !!
“mamatay akong may dangal kaysa mamatay akong isang sinungaling”
“adobong baboy para sa mga binaboy”
“di ako papanig sa mga amerikano o hapon, dahil ayaw ko ng gyera”
AAAAAAA the fact that the cast aree soo excellent and passionate (main or even the supporting cast) the song and lines 😩😩. indeed one of an eye opener historical drama series that Filipinos need! especially at this moment where Filipinos are having conflict with china because of West Philippine Sea. i can't wait to watch itt, i really love historical movies/series!!
one of my favorite celebrity couples here in my country announced their break-up yesterday. it hurts me badly because i am an avid fan of them (TT) they are the standard couple for me, the healthy couple i've ever seen in my life. the reason for their break-up is because that girl had an age/identity crisis, she's only in her 20s and the man was in his 50s. their age gap is 20+ and it hurt me badly because their relationship is full of love, sincerity, and maturity. the man took their situation like a man; he let her go, so the woman he loves could grow.
it reminds me that real love will never hold you back, it will set you free no matter how much pain that comes with it.
The theory of multiple intelligences is my only reminder that IT'S OKAY if I will never excel in something that I have been trying for so long. I am proficient in literatures, and yet I am a slow learner at mathematics. I'm not skilled at dancing, but I have a good voice for singing. I'm not the sporty type of kid, but I am great when it comes to social interaction. This concept teaches me that we can't be good at everything, but that doesn't mean we cannot thrive in another field.
It's impossible that there people who are not gifted as others—we are all gifted, and it's up to us how we will unwrap and discover those gifts that been hidden inside of us.
my father was the first one who broke my heart. my first man and heartbreak.
writing is the only way to run without leaving my home
you are the creator of your own reality
i'm so demotivated lately. july has been tough for me. i think i'm losing myself again.
last month, i was so productive. i feel like i am completely fine doing my stuffs. and now, here i am staring at my unfinished crochet, wondering why my body can't function well the way i used to. i'm just rotting in my bed the whole day. motivation words can't help me, though.
i already accept that i lost my savings and i'm done blaming myself for that. it will be a big lesson for me—to think and listen in my instincts. anyways, i'll gonna start again to save and try to write more!! i knew it, there are better things to come. let's manifest the best for us !! (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧
AAAHHHH I'MMM CRYINGG, i lost my savings because i was updating my device to a new version. i didn't screenshot nor take notes my seed phrase which is a requirement to get back my BCH savings, i am not actually aware about that :(( i saved it for almost 2 months because it will help me to buy my school supplies this upcoming school year. aaaaahh i’mm so disappointed in myself (个_个)
i can't find any games that could satisfied me like how Mobile Legends did during the pandemic era, arggghh >.<
maybe in another universe my mom got the life she wanted
if you guys will choose between “having someone you can’t love or loving someone you can’t have” what is the most painful thing for you?
i am watching showtime right now just to entertain myself, little did i know it will break my heart. the segment 'expecially for you' where the guests are married couple for 16 years and were separated 5 years ago because of the first love of the woman who come back just to continue their relationship. it's beyond heartbreaking. i'm literally crying for the “daddy”. i have a lot of realizations from the both sides, and soft spot for genuine old men. ang sakit sakit even i'm not involved with them. anyways, so happy for them knowing the fact that they already forgive each other.
growing up in a toxic household makes you seek for a gentle love, peace and freedom. i want to live and not just to survive. i want to be love in a softest way. i don't no longer want to scream just to be heard and cry to defend myself.
i am here again; where i want to run away from our house and to be disappeared even at once. just to completely vanish.
done washing my 4 basket of laundry. i'm so tired, and yet i have many things to do. if parallel universe does actually exist, i don't wanna see my other self suffering being the youngest child, either middle or the eldest one. i just want to be a potato (ㆁωㆁ)
i am planning for now to write again–poetries and poems. if ever i'll try to back in writing, i would be glad if i'll share my works with all of u guys! this platform is actually my digital diary ^°^
@TAHANAN