Give me some advice.

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Written by
4 years ago

I mentioned here recently that we are staying in my in-laws house and its been 2 months since we stayed here since my husband has no job yet and now we are staying here together with his parents.

His step-mom is now 82 years old. She's ages like my grandmother. Me and my husband were in different generation. I mean his siblings were ages just like my aunties. He's the youngest and I am eldest thats why.

His step-mom already forgetting a lot of things. I dont know if that's an Alzheimer's but all I know is that its part of being old but unlike the other old people she's acting differently.

Last night, we cant able to sleep because she always open the door of her room and go to the kitchen, opening the stoves, getting some utensils, preparing some coffee in the middle of the night. She do it everynight, so me and my husband didnt sleep well always. When my husband talked to her and saying that its already 1:00 am and dont make some noise because our son might wake up, she got angry and start saying a lot of words from my husband and during mornings she didnt knew about those happenings.

Every time that there's a food in the kitchen or in the table, she will opened it and eat the food using her hands even if the food is soup dish. So what we did is we make sure that we secure the food. We hide the food on the room so that she can eat it using her hands.

She also forgot to remove her slipper when entering the house , thats why our house has many dust and sometimes I feel so tired to clean it because afterwards it will become dusty again.

She always hide some stuff in the house. Like the diswashing liquid, shampoo, pot holder, slippers, broomstick , she hide it in her room so you need to secure your things always. Our room is always locked so that she couldn't enter it.

She loves to drink coffee, every other hour she prepare coffee and sometimes she forgot that she heated water from the stove. The kettle was broke because of over heat. She just keep the 3 in 1 coffee in the plate organizer and sometimes the coffee was scattered inside because it's already opened.

I pity her honestly. I try understand her because its the only thing I can do. I am just observing her actions, what she will do and where she go. I feel guilty because my husband wants me to live in this house for good. But I dont want because I know I will be the one who got stressed and one thing, I have a son who is 20 months old that needs me and I dont know if I can able to do the chores, taking good care of my son and my mother in law as well.

If you are curious about my father in law. They are not in good condition. They have separate room. They eat also separately. So that's another thing thats make me think to stay here.

I dont know what to do. Can you give me some advice or thought especially the one who lives in their in-laws.

I will appreciate your comment.

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4 years ago
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I just want to say po na tibayan nyo pa po ang kalooban nyo n hbaan pang lalo po ang pang-unawa nyo po @Yen, parte po yan ng buhay my asawa po n lalo na po at jn po kau nktira sa mga biyenan nyo po, dasal lng din po, mommy yen

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4 years ago

Hindi naman kami dito nakatira. Nag stay lang kami dito kasi pinagbigyan ko lang husband ko na dito mag stay.

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User's avatar Yen
4 years ago

Gnun po ba

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4 years ago

Itag-lish ko na lang po 'tong comment ko para mas ramdam hahahaha

So based po sa story mo, it seems like she's already in the ulyanin stage considering yung age niya. May mga matatanda na sa ganyang edad okay pa yung memory pero yung iba hindi na. Ganyang ganyan po yung ugali nung lolo ni papa na na observe ko dati nung ulyanin na yun.

Tsaka si lolo ko din po at age 81 naging ulyanin. Grabe yung din ang mga na experience ni mama dun. One time, ulam namin is embutido tapos ayaw niya nun, ipinagsigawan ba naman na di daw siya pinapakain ng manugang niya ng maayos. Pinapaulam daw siya ng ice candy hahahaha tapos bed ridden din yun kaya sa galon siya umiihi one time yung isang galon niyang ihi itinapon lahat sa may bintana ng kwaryo niya, minsan pag nagkakasakit dun na lang siya dumudumi sa higaan niya 🙈 Super stressed talaga si mama kasi si papa laging wala sa bahay haha pero wala naman siyang magawa kundi pagtiisan si lolo.

Kaya I therefore conclude na pagtiisan mo na lang po muna since wala ka namang choice for now. Gawa na lang ng precautionary measures. For example para di na siya mag init ng tubig, mag init na kayo at ilagay sa thermos tapos always remind her in a nice way nung mga dapat niyang gawin. And wag nyo pong iparamdam sa kanya na kinakainisan nyo yung ginagawa niya kasi lalo lang magpapasaway yan.

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4 years ago

Ayaw nya kasi ng sinusundan sya or pinagsasabihan. Nagagalit sya. Kapag nakita ko na sya na may kakaibang gagawin, pupuntahan ko na yung asawa ko para sya yung magbawal. Iniiwasan ko din kasi yung may masabi sila sakin na hindi maganda. Sa totoo lang nakakaawa talaga..yung lola ko ganito din edad pero sya lang mag isa sa bahay. Kahirap at nakakapagod lalo at inlaws mo lang at hindi mo naman magulang. I men kahit parents ng magulang mo syempre iba padin kasi.

Naexperienced nadin namin yun, naihi sya habang natutulog, nagising nalang kami sa amoy..minsan nalilimutan nadin nya magflush sa toilet. Naghahalungkat sya ng basura tapos kakamayin nya yung food.

Yung mga kapatid ng asawa ko wala naman pakialam sa kanila. Paano pag wala na kami dito. Paano nalang buhay nila. Dito ako nagvevent out kasi wala ako masabihan. Hindi ko din sinasabi sa parents ko na ganito sitwasyon dito kasi ayaw ko na may masabi sila sa side ng asawa ko.

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User's avatar Yen
4 years ago

I'm sure na sobrang hirap po niya. Sure talaga na ulyanin na po si lola. Tons of patience lang talaga ang kaylangan mo for now 😔

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4 years ago

Yes, hindi din naman nya ginusto na ganun sya e. Kaya pang unawa nalang talaga yung kailangan.

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User's avatar Yen
4 years ago

Tama po. Tsaka for sure kahit siya hindi niya alam na ganun na ang ginagawa niya. Mahirap po talaga yan. Stay strong and cheer up po!

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4 years ago

Alam mo as I was typing this. Salita na naman sya ng salita sa kwarto nya. Binawal na kasi sya ng asawa ko magkape kasi kakakape nya lang. Hindi pa daw sya kumakain pero kumain na kami mg hapunan. Mag aantay nalang kami hanggang sa tumigil sya magsalita. Haysss

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User's avatar Yen
4 years ago

Ganyan po talaga yan. Kaylangan mo na lang talaga pagpasensyahan kasi kung hindi, ikaw lang ang maistress.

Isang proof na naman yan na tama talaga ang advice ng bible na kapag nag asawa kaylangan nang bumukod sa mga magulang kasi kung hindi posibleng maencounter ang ganyang mga problema.

Pero dahil sa circumstance ninyo hindi maiiwasan, kaylangan talagang linangin ang pagpapasensya (hindi lang isang sakong pasensya kundi tone-toneladang pasensya 😅)

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4 years ago

If I were to choose gusto ko talaga bumukod but the problem is my husband is the youngest child and they insist that this house is for my husband. Yung mga kapatid nya may kanya kanya ng lupang pinamana. Sabi ko nga sa kanya sana hindi ka nalang naging bunso because I want a house that is both far from my clan and his clan kaso ayun nga.

Jehovah's witnesses ka din ba like @myt.24 ? Those linangin word, naalala ko na naman yung pumupunta samin na JW hehe.

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User's avatar Yen
4 years ago

Yes @Yen. JW din yan si @esciisc. Kakastress naman yang situation mo. Di ko pa naexperience yan, pero base lang sa mga kinwento mo, naistress ako haha. Kaya mo yan Mommy @Yen. Sundin mo nalang sinasabi ni @esciisc. Makaranasan yan sa ganyan haha

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4 years ago

Sabi ko na e hehe. Ramdam ko din e 😄 Yeah. Kakayanin hehe. Thank you nga pala sa upvote.

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User's avatar Yen
4 years ago

I live in my inlaws too, at wla dito asawa ko kase nasa barko. Mahirap talaga yan lalo na ulyanin na ang mom inlaw mo, tsk stress ka talaga nyan. Tiisin mo na lang muna, kase wala ka pa rin nmn other choice kase wla pa work husband mo, hirap nyan kase maliit pa anak mo. Hmm stay strong mommy yen, habaan ang pasensya kase mdjo matanda na rin talaga yang 82 yrs old. Di ko masyado alam paano ka e advice kasi iba nmn situation natin, well about sa pag init nang tubig maybe prepare na lang kayo termos para di na sya bukas nang bukas sa stove para mag init nang tubig..

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4 years ago

Actually may tubig naman sa termos. Siguro naka program na talaga sa utak nya yung lagi nag iinit ng tubig. Hindi naman palagi masusundan ko o ng asawa ko. Tulad ngayon lunch time, sinabihan lang ng asawa ko na wag kamayin yung kanin. Nagalit na sya tapos sabi ginagawa daw syang magnanakaw. Napagalitan ko na nga yung asawa ko kasi sabi nya intindihin pero sya minsan natataasan nya din ng boses. Sobrang nakaka stress pa kasi hindi sila goods mag asawa, hindi mo alam sino kakampihan mo. Pumayag lang naman kami na mag stay dito kasi nahihiya yung asawa ko kila Mama though nagbibigay din naman kami ng budget. Ngayon lang ako nag stay ng ganito katagal dito e. Feeling ko kapag wala yung asawa ko tapos iiwanan ako hindi ko kakayanin.

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User's avatar Yen
4 years ago

Hmm, siguro mas maigi mag usap kayo nang asawa mo tungkol dyan sis may nag aalaga nmn sa kanila diba aside sa inyo? Mahirap talaga yan kase ulyanin na yan. Tama ka naka program na yan sa utak nya ang lagi pag iinit nang tubig, parang bata na kase ang ugali nyan mahirap na maka intindi .

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4 years ago

Sad to say wala 😢 Sila lang dito sa bahay wag wala kami kaya nakakaguilty talaga sa part ko. Yung dalawang kapatid ng husband ko nandito nakatira kapitbahay nila pero parang wala man lang silang pakialam. Puro din sila daing tungkol sa matanda. Minsan nga gusto ko magpost sa FB ng " Kung hindi anak yung mag aalaga sa magulang kapag tumanda e sino? " kaso ayoko din ng issue. Kung medyo may edad na anak ko pwede naman kami dito. Kaso ngayon hindi ko pa talaga kaya mag isa.

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User's avatar Yen
4 years ago

Haaayyyss oo nga noh hirap nmn sa part mo, dapat sila mag alaga parents nila yan eh. Totoo nga yan na ang magulang kaya mag alaga nang isang dosenang anak pero ang anak di kayang mag alaga nang isang magulang pagtanda. Wag ka mag post nyan sa FB ma issue ka pa dito na lang kase di ka kilala nang mga tao hayys.

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4 years ago

Kaya nga e. Nagiguilty lang ako kasi ayaw ko nga dito tumira, parang tulad nadin ako ng mga kapatid ng asawa ko. Feeling ko ganon.

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User's avatar Yen
4 years ago

well okay lang nmn yan kase di ka nmn blood related dyan pero for the sake of your husband extend your patience and understanding, kaya mo yan sis 😇

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4 years ago

I also lived with my in laws too, all i advice is patience. Even your in laws make you mad sometimes because your tired of doing house work and your in laws doesn't shame on you .keep on patience .😇

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4 years ago

I will :) That's the only thing I can do and I think that the best thing to do, to understand. Thank you for your advice. I appreciate it :)

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User's avatar Yen
4 years ago

❤❤❤ your welcome dear ,😇

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4 years ago

Nice post.. Hey subscribed u, sub back plz...

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4 years ago

Sub back dear..

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4 years ago

Ooh dear... I know how hard your situation is. But if you look in every diffrent angle, you couple can't just abandon the old woman because she's the mother of your husband though not in blood. I admire you for your patience. But you need more. You just need to learn the adjustments to take everyday to lessen your burden and don't forget to pray.

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4 years ago

We dont have a thought of abandoning her 😢 I just want to vent out here because of my situation. Yeah more patience to me and also adjustment. We always prayed for her, we prayed for her health and peace of mind. Thank you for your advice. I appreciate it.

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User's avatar Yen
4 years ago