There's a question I always ask to myself. Why I am the one who always do the adjustment? Why me? Why not them? Sometimes being kind and understandable leads taking advantage of people around you. I am not okay now. Wanna know why? It's because of my sister. I don't know , I feel so annoyed to her. I know as her eldest sister I need to understand her but sometimes I can't understand her. To be honest we are not close. We are not just a typical sister who has a strong bond. Shes not open with his life and didn't share some story to me that's why I also do the same thing.
I remember when she gave birth , I was crying listening to her singing a lullaby to her daughter. She is a single mother , his boyfriend leave her without a valid reason. He just leave and didn't back and my sister has no idea what happened so him. It's saddens me to know that she has no partner to be with. That time when I heard her singing a lullaby I chatted her saying that if she need some help or a person who can talk to I am just a room away. She didn't reply to that message of mine and I understand it.
She needs to work because she need to provide the needs of her daughter. To be honest I pity her because if I will compare my situation to her I am more lucky. I know she also feel pain and tiredness but she has no choice but to be a father and a mother to her daughter. When she was working my mother was the one who take good care of her daughter until last November 2020 my mother leave the house.
Its November 25 when she call me on the phone. It was 11 PM that time when she told me that I need to go back on our house because our mother leave the house and no one will take good care of her daughter. The next day we went to our house and on that day I said to her that I will be the one who will take good care of her daughter. I know my decision is not easy because being a stay at home mom is not easy especially when you need to look after two kids but despite of that the pity for her wins because if she will hired a Yaya to her daughter she can't afford it anymore.
We have no problem on the following months. She went home on time and helps me in the house hold chores when she has time but the situation changed when the time that she introduced a man to us which was his boyfriend. That time we are so happy for her because finally she found a man who will love her despite of her situation. We welcomed the guy so we'll and treated him as not other people.
Weeks later , it seems that she prioritize that guy. I mean she was changed. Before she went home in time but when his boyfriend started to pick her up in her work she always go home late and instead of I will take a rest early my rest time also delayed because she went home late. Sometimes 1 hour late or 2 hours late. I remain silent about that thing even if my husband said to open my concern to my sister. Sometimes when the guy is there she didn't do her responsibilities to her daughter. She didn't clean the milk bottles or didn't fold her daughter clothes because the guy was there so what will happened is when the guy leave that's the time she will do that and then she will sleep late.
Last week I started to get annoyed to her and I didn't wash thier clothes because I let her do that during her rest day.
Also last week she filed a one week leave and I asked her why , she said she will used her leave but I know there's a reason to that. Maybe she read my post on Facebook that I am tired. I thought I can take a rest for one week but not. Yes she's here but still my duties were the same.
Earlier this morning she thought that my husband will leave for work to get national ID. She didn't said that she will have a joy ride or travel with his boyfriend and friends. My father and I were talking about the national ID then she join the conversation and said that she will have a gala and she will leave the house early. I asked her if how about her daughter? She answered me that she will stay and the house. I got so annoyed thinking that she will enjoy the day with his boyfriend and leave her daughter to us.
I was also annoyed because when I have something to attend like wedding I can't come because I take good care of her daughter. I sacrificed not attending the wedding of my friends because of her daughter. Every time we go to somewhere we always include her daughter but when they went somewhere they didn't include my son. I don't know if I am a bad sister but I am so annoyed to her now.
Since I started to take good care of her daughter I didn't heard her saying thank you or just a thankful offering like giving me food every payday like that. I am not asking for some return but sometimes I am expecting a little appreciation about my help.
Can you give me an advice? I will appreciate it.
Have a heart to heart talk with your sister. Let her know everything you are feeling. You both have your own life. You have a family of your own which is your utmost prioeity and she has a daughter so she needs to be a responsible mother. You can extend your help if she needs one but she has the sole responsibility for her child. Don't take charge in caring for her child.