My Mom Is An Addict

Have kept this to myself for over 23 years now, I just can't anymore. We stood still while the car left, wishing she was conscious to wave at us but she didn't, rather was shouting and hitting her head against the window. He looked at me, and I winked, that was all mom left for us. She told us, winking meant, everything was going to be alright and that was all I told kelvin. Have lost count of the number of episodes she has had, so we were no strangers to her behavior.

It all began shortly after Kelvin's birth, when dad left, because their quarrels and fights became unbearable. I came home to meet dad pack his bags, I knew everything wasn't fine from the way, mom was sitting. While leaving dad hugged me, and told me, he will be back, but till date he hasn't return, It's over 25 years now.

Mom actually loved my dad but I couldn't understood reasons for their incessant quarrels. I knew she missed him, from the way he stares at his picture, from the Late night sobs emitting from her room. I wish I was of help but all I could do, was to play with little kelvin. It went on and on, until one day, Lisa her friend visited her. Mom sent me to go play with the other kids, I was shocked but that was the only freedom I had, so I wasn't going to interrogate her.

After a long hour of playing with friends, I was tired and it was getting late, I had to run home. They she was smiling and nodding to a tune I never heard. I perceived this leaf-like smell in our sitting room. I knew everything wasn't fine, I turn and they was my little kelvin, lying peacefully in his cot. I wish he could talk, then I would have asked him all the questions. The night drew near and I was expecting her soft sobs, so I could cry along, since I was scared something bad must have happened to mom, while I was away with friends, I heard nothing but only perceived the leaf-like smell again. Whatever spirit mom was conjuring, I would have loved to see him to. I crept out of bed to my mom's room, they room was dark, and filled with smoke. I stood for hours hoping to hear noises, never knew when I began to cough. Yes! The smoke was Choky too, mom put on the light, and I could see how disappointed she was. I smiled foolishly, I never knew what she was doing. I was happy, at last she was going to forget about dad, never knew I was selfish. Yes! I was selfish, I never knew the happiness I wanted for mom was detrimental. We hugged and returned to my room, no sobs, just the leaf-like smell.

Days turned into weeks, mom was gradually feeling better, thanks to the leaf, but how it was administered was still strange to me, I wasn't comfortable asking her, since I didn't want her to be reminded of dad. Then one day, Lisa came visiting. They both stayed in the sitting room, I was happy since I will be given the freedom to leave the house, but no! I was. They were comfortable having me around, they chatted for long and then came the leaf-like smell, I tipped toe to the sitting room, I was shocked, the smell was coming from my mom's lip. Little kelvin was playing by the corner, I took him out to play with friends. I was worried for my mom's new source of happiness, but I didn't want her to stop.

With time, she was now at liberty, she could puff her smoke even while we were having our breakfast. I mustered courage and inquired about the name of the leaf, all mom told me was, "it was called Sativa" I was relieved atleast I knew what name it was. One day in class, the teacher asked us to mention food that makes us happy, never knew when my hand was raised, only to echo the word which was on my mind "Sativa" , oh! Oryza sativa she said, I nodded in response, the trouble came when I was asked to state procedures of how it was prepared. It is very simple, I told the teacher, just burn it, and the smoke comes out from your mouth . Everyone was shocked. I was invited me to her house, and was scolded, she told me, what I explained was bad to health, she asked where I saw it prepared, but I had to lie, I watched it from the Tv.

Thought of losing mom, kept disturbing my little mind, when I got home, there she was puffing her source of happiness like no man's business, I just stood by the corner, shook my head and went inside my room. I knew mom was not going to be fine,but I wasn't ready to listen to her late night sobs, so I had to let sleeping dog lies.

With time, sativa was used to mom's system,slowly the late night sobs returned. This time, they were intense and terrifying. I walked to her room, and there she was puffing her sativa but they was no happiness anymore. She looked at me "they have stolen the happiness off sativa, are you guilty of this" I shook my head, walked up to her and held her. I had mixed feelings that night, mom wasn't smoking anymore but then, her sad days are back. It was weekend, I was home with my brother while mom stepped out. I stayed all day with my Kelvin, when mom returned, I felt this joy written all over her face. I was happy for she was happy, we chatted, ate the cake, she bought for us, and for the first time, we stayed together to watch tv in the sitting room. My heart began to beat faster, as the night drew near. We told each other good night and retired to bed, I was curious to hear her sob, but she didn't. Never knew when I slept off, woke the next morning. I noticed some powder close to mom's nose, I brought it to her notice, she smiled and cleaned it.

She behaved normal anytime they was powder in the side of her nose. As usual, I didn't want to ask her. It went on for months, then years. It got to a point, she wasn't concerned of cleaning the powder off her nose. The little powder stole all our life savings and even our valuables. I still remembered how two hefty men, came to carry our Tv. Mom was indebted to them. They were the dealers of the nose powder mom was using. Resilience was her watchword, because she never gave up on the powder, until all the furniture in the house were seized. This threw her into a new wave of depression, and she sort a new way to be happy......

To be continued...

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