If I were The One, I Would Have Done Better

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1 year ago
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Tough times don't last but tough people do, this is a quote we all have heard or told someone at one point in life. It is true how easy it is to tell someone that, we say it with so much ease like it never meant anything to them.

I still remember when I lost my grandma, a friend of mine walked into my room and saw me crying, she stood for a while looking at me and then burst into a loud session of laughter. I was surprised and rose to ask what the laughter was all about. She kept on laughing then she told me just your grandma gone and you are this weak, c'mon girl let's go grab some drinks. I was shocked when my friend said this to me. 

It also happened to her a few years later, she lost her mum, crying and being moody all day. I visited her with some bottles of drink. "Hey girl! What's up with you, your mum is dead and gone, let's drink some liquor while we wait for the boys to join us". She began raising her voice calling me inconsiderate, unkind and a weirdo. I just smiled and walked away.  Though what I did was wrong, I only wanted her to feel the same way I did, when she did the same to me when my grandma died.

It is so easy to console someone and make them feel bad for crying or mourning over a job, relationship, relatives or even a pet. But before you start condemning them for being so weak, why not take a moment to fit into their shoes. You need to understand their pain. 

As a teacher, before you write off any student as being too dull or a failure, why not take your time to enquire why they aren't concentrating. Are you too fast or too slow while talking or do they just find the class boring. I still remember in high school I never found Arithmetic classes enjoyable so I performed poorly but I topped my grades in Biology class. That explains to you one could be weak in one aspect and a pro in another aspect, it all depends on their preference.

I don't like this particular customer of mine, he complains a lot and I am not comfortable with it. My dear, that could be the best customer you could ever get but the question is, how did you treat them? Were you bothered to know why they complain about your meals? Or do you just conclude they were being too rude.

Life is lovely, beautiful, enjoyable and fun but not to everyone at the same time. I still remember when I came to this platform and I saw some users complaining about not being rewarded by the @TheRandomRewarder At first I condemned their actions, judging them to be greedy only writing for monetary gain. But things weren't the same when I was first awarded, I discovered it was so important to them. It boosts your morale and it is really a pat on the back for a job well done. Then rusty didn't visit for a while, I began my own rants on my post. Then I realised I was wrong. I shouldn't have talked badly about them.  Then I realise how important it is, to place yourself in one's situation before judging them.  By doing so, it will be easier for us to either console, condemn or appreciate them. Everyone has more on their mind  than just a gloomy face. Before you condemn someone, be willing to hear their own side of the story. I do think when life doesn't add up for another we were sent to make it better for them. Don't add to their pains if you know you will judge them. 

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The statement " if it were me, I would have done better " has caused a lot of pain in our world today, you wouldn't have done anything better if it were to happen to you. 

My dear readers, Let us handle other people's heart aches as if it were ours, be mindful of what we say to others at their lowest moment. Do have a blissful weekend. I love you all.

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1 year ago

Comments

Now you have seen one of the major problems of the world: empathy. Most people say or do certain things without thinking about how other people feel about their actions. They can only relate to things that have happened to them but must we wait to experience something too before we learn to be considerate to people that have experienced it?

This is why empathy is important, before you say or do something to someone, you must first imagine yourself in the same circumstance as the person, try to think about how they are feeling at that point, think about how you will feel if it was you. It isn't exactly the same thing as the person currently experiencing it but at least you will get a sense of what they are feeling at that particular point

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1 year ago

I agree with you. We should not judge someone if we don't the reasons behind. If we don't know anything, we better shut up. Be kind always and in all ways because we everyone fights their own battle, and struggling alone.

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1 year ago

Thank you for this beautiful words, it is better we remain quiet than to start making others feel bad

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1 year ago

You're welcome, my friend! So we always choose to be kind :)

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1 year ago

"Before you judge anyone, walk a mile in their shoes, feel what they feel, experience what they experienced and see if you will still have the same stand point or view after." - Olawalium

It's easier to judge people until we are faced with the same situation. What's 6 to one can be 9 to another depending on where they are viewing it from. What you did to your friend is something I can do to prove a point. I corrected someone for what she did and she started taking a dig at me on her status...I kept on overlooking until yesterday when I composed a poem and posted it on IG and Facebook. It hits her so bad that she had to message my brother about how she felt 🤣🤣🤣. I later took the post down... Humans can be so insensitive... It's okay when others are going through stuff but when it's them, they want the world to come to a halt...

We need to understand both sides of things before judging anyone. We see things differently... That's life.

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1 year ago

Haha thanks for that amazing quote @ Mr. Olasquare. I had to do it to her, so she will understand what it feels like to lose someone so dear to you. I think some humans are just insensitive when it comes to issues concerning others.

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1 year ago

You are right...humans are so insensitive and that's because we focus to much on ourselves rather than understand what others are going through.

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1 year ago

I came to learn this fact some years ago. We are unique and what it's cool with some people might not work out with others. Just like you said, that someone that seen as a weakling has a super power in some areas that makes him/her unique

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1 year ago

You are right, in everyone there is a drop of greatness

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1 year ago

It never occurred to me that you were such, in fact, I highly regarded you because you are gregarious while I am barely there! hahaha! Well, we all have ups and downs... Its hell of a roller coaster ride for everyone! Cheers!

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1 year ago

Thanks for the complement, sincerely everyone is going through a lot.

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1 year ago

You nailed it my friend. We shouldn't judge the other people situation if we are not in their shoe because we didn't know what they feel. We should try and be in their shoe.

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1 year ago

Yes darling, but a lot of people will just wake up to act strange and say funny stuff all because they aren't the people affected.

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1 year ago

Yes that's true. Those people are insensitive my friend.

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1 year ago

Very well said, my dear sis. We can never really understand the suffering of others until we suffer the same fate. Let us be mindful and considerate enough of others' emotions.

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1 year ago

You are right my sister. A lot of people will choose to ridicule others for being weak not knowing they would have acted worst than that. It's been so long sister, how are you and the family!

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1 year ago

I got a new job! My dream finally came true, my dear sister :) I got sick again though lol. How are you doing?

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1 year ago

I am fine dear sister, that's a great news to hear about your new job. I am sure you are enjoying it. Really sorry about your health. Hope you are better now ?

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1 year ago

One good turn deserves another_ says an adage. You didn't know you're gonna be summoned too by your friend exactly the way you summoned her her a while back. Lol , just kidding, that's life for you. We should learn to consider and fix things for people that are weak. So their pain won't totally wreck them

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1 year ago

Hahaha! She was the person who picked on me, so I had to retaliate also. It is true one good turn deserves another.

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1 year ago

Absolutely, take care dear

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1 year ago